Uncle Sam
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Monday: April 13, 2009 - Uncle Sam
Every great hero needs an arch-villain. I finally, after 13 months in DC, found mine. She takes the form of a 17-year old girl who probably enjoys cutting herself. She is in my art class and her newest piece is called "Dismembered Man". Clever. Hold onto that teenage angst sweetheart. I can't even fathom the horrors you've seen growing up in Georgetown but my heart goes out to you.
So there I am mixing up some reds and blues for my piece. It's an early mix and the reds and blues are very bright. The girl, herein "Cutter", walks past me. She says something like "Nice patriotism Uncle Sam." I respond with, "And I call the piece 'These Colors Don't Run'" to which she replies "THE WORLD!" to which I reply, "I see the double-sarcasm was lost on you." Unlike negative numbers, sarcasm is apparently not canceled out when using it twice. I hate this girl and her painted-black jean jacket and hundreds of jelly bracelets.
A lesser man would have rubbed it in her face thatI was he was going to get a piece at a show in Georgetown but I accepted he accepted the honor with humility. Why? Because I'm he's a grown-ass man.
Every great hero needs an arch-villain. I finally, after 13 months in DC, found mine. She takes the form of a 17-year old girl who probably enjoys cutting herself. She is in my art class and her newest piece is called "Dismembered Man". Clever. Hold onto that teenage angst sweetheart. I can't even fathom the horrors you've seen growing up in Georgetown but my heart goes out to you.
So there I am mixing up some reds and blues for my piece. It's an early mix and the reds and blues are very bright. The girl, herein "Cutter", walks past me. She says something like "Nice patriotism Uncle Sam." I respond with, "And I call the piece 'These Colors Don't Run'" to which she replies "THE WORLD!" to which I reply, "I see the double-sarcasm was lost on you." Unlike negative numbers, sarcasm is apparently not canceled out when using it twice. I hate this girl and her painted-black jean jacket and hundreds of jelly bracelets.
A lesser man would have rubbed it in her face that
Comments:
- T-Chris
So, Paul Revere, what's your painting about? Discuss your motivations and inspirations behind the massterpiece? (You know, besides your hatred of "Cutter".) - Mike
Though the picture is blurry right now, it will eventually contain several black and white vases, one of which will contain a drooping vine which represents death. There will also be an olive outside the vase on the left, which represents death. Finally, there will be a misshapen pear in between the two vases which will represent death. - BU
I call it, "The Condom Whale of Haiti". - Mike
It's not a whale, it's a platter. It's funny you should say that though because when I finished painting it I thought it looked like a fish so I went back and gave it a "scaled" texture.
You should be an art critic once you've killed all the aliens. - Tim
Ah yes in thirty years "Cutter" will be clinging to that last little bit of angst, still dressed in black - but selling you a case of High Life at the Circle K.
If you have the vine, olive and "elephant pear" all representing death, howabout an arrow representing fertility . . . whoa I just blew my mind. - Tree
What a snot-nosed little piece of shit of a teenager. Aside from the black, that pic reminds me of the Phillies road uniforms of the 1970s & 80s.
Good Things Take Time...
2 days until FSU Football (2010)
Random Picture...
Profile shot of our towel animal elephant.
Profile shot of our towel animal elephant.
Time Machine:
09-02-2009
· 09-02-2008
· 09-02-2007
· 09-02-2006
09-02-2009: I think I have the swine flu. I think I caught it during the Counting Crows concert then brought it back. I took the liberty of passing it along to 100+ college students in the hopes of teaching them a valuable history lesson about settlers and smallpox blankets (right Steve?) I actually do feel a little bit better today but I've also slept away the gross majority of the past three days. Tomorrow I have to go back to school and I can't call in sick so by 10am I'll know how bad I have it depending on how many students I inadvertently killed on Wednesday.
Football starts tonight. Thank God. Too bad I'll be asleep and have to miss the first two games. On Monday Tim and Chris are going to come over to watch FSU whomp Miami. Back to bed.09-02-2008: Ok, seriously, we're playing MarioKart tonight at 8pm. SERIOUSLY.
I got sick last night around 10pm for no reason. Just a regular cold but it came out of nowhere and by the time I woke around 2:30pm this afternoon it had almost totally gone away. Weird. I ordered ESPN GamePlan yesterday so now I can watch up to six college football games at once. This is grossly unnecessary but really, few things in life are really all that necessary. The Cubs can't clinch a playoff spot fast enough--my big TV awaits!
I also picked up Ab last night and she and Chompy covered my bed in dirt after running around in the clay before coming in. Speaking of clay, I read that some people crave eating clay while pregnant. Weirdy. Since I'm phoning in today's entry, here's a video that's worth the watch (with FSU alum Richard Simmons no less).
I took the day off blogging but only because I was thinking of you.09-02-2006: After laboring in coal-mine like conditions for the past 11 months I was pleased to get Labor Day off. Over the weekend the only major thing I "accomplished" was buying a new TV for my office. I got it at Home Depot of all places but I wanted a 15" LCD and didn't want to spend $350 at Best Buy for a crap-brand when I could spend $250 at Home Depot for a Magnavox. The TV it replaced did not change channels or allow you to adjust the volume more than once a week. Usually each Sunday I'd decide what channel and volume to watch for the week and then hate my decision to choose Lifetime (hey, Fraiser was on) on near-mute. The new TV is nice and it looks good next to my two flat-screen monitors. Booyah.
Football starts tonight. Thank God. Too bad I'll be asleep and have to miss the first two games. On Monday Tim and Chris are going to come over to watch FSU whomp Miami. Back to bed.09-02-2008: Ok, seriously, we're playing MarioKart tonight at 8pm. SERIOUSLY.
I got sick last night around 10pm for no reason. Just a regular cold but it came out of nowhere and by the time I woke around 2:30pm this afternoon it had almost totally gone away. Weird. I ordered ESPN GamePlan yesterday so now I can watch up to six college football games at once. This is grossly unnecessary but really, few things in life are really all that necessary. The Cubs can't clinch a playoff spot fast enough--my big TV awaits!
I also picked up Ab last night and she and Chompy covered my bed in dirt after running around in the clay before coming in. Speaking of clay, I read that some people crave eating clay while pregnant. Weirdy. Since I'm phoning in today's entry, here's a video that's worth the watch (with FSU alum Richard Simmons no less).
I took the day off blogging but only because I was thinking of you.09-02-2006: After laboring in coal-mine like conditions for the past 11 months I was pleased to get Labor Day off. Over the weekend the only major thing I "accomplished" was buying a new TV for my office. I got it at Home Depot of all places but I wanted a 15" LCD and didn't want to spend $350 at Best Buy for a crap-brand when I could spend $250 at Home Depot for a Magnavox. The TV it replaced did not change channels or allow you to adjust the volume more than once a week. Usually each Sunday I'd decide what channel and volume to watch for the week and then hate my decision to choose Lifetime (hey, Fraiser was on) on near-mute. The new TV is nice and it looks good next to my two flat-screen monitors. Booyah.