Matt's Wedding | 05/31/04

Matt needs to call me. And sooner rather that later. Sure, he's getting married and that's the most important date in his 30-year life so far but he needs to call me. Apparently in the hustle and bustle of making wedding plans he never gave me any sort of directions or schedule. This would be fine if the wedding were not 13 hours away. Ok, a good swing of fortune just happened. The sitter at their house miraculously answered the phone and now I have Jenny's cell number. Now, having Jenny's number is arguably just as bad as having nothing at all. There is no doubt in my mind when Fox films its next When Brides Attack the program is going to be centered around Jenny. I respect the fact that Jenny knows what she wants and knows how she's going to get it but I thank God every day that her wrath has never been aimed at me (to my knowledge). Well, I guess never because I'm sure I would know about it. Anyway, now I have to call the bride, beg to speak to the groom and have him give me a bunch of phone numbers and directions. What if she sees its me and doesn't answer, thinking I'm just calling Matt to ask if he can play another gig that she can prevent him from playing? Nothing ventured, nothing gained, so I have to call. My other plan is driving to Ohio and waiting for them to call me, which I have to admit, isn't the greatest of all my ideas.

Happy Memorial Day. One of the things that baffles me is the fact that now that we're in a war, people are shocked to hear that Americans are dying. In the second world war, almost a million people were killed or wounded {X}. I don't mean to sound like a terrible person, but isn't death one of the inevitablities of war? Don't we go into assuming that maybe, just maybe, some of our guys will not come back? I would never go to war unless the war was right here, on our soil. I'm not going to regurgitate all the theories on why we're fighting in the Middle East and I can safely say I would be too pacifist to ever be a good president. What irritates me is that a draft is in the works. A draft? Hello, US Government, if those of us who weren't currently fighting had any desire to fight for your causes, we would have signed up to do so. Hearing the Army kids on my way back from VA scared the hell out of me and I want nothing to do with them. While I'm sure there are some socially, politically and intellectually gifted people in the armed forces, I have yet to encounter so much as one. In a draft, they'd be my boss. Am I being terribly elitist in thinking they, 19-year old kids with tattoos of eagles carrying nuclear bombs in their talons (on the back of their necks), would tell me, a card-carrying member of MENSA, to go die because we had to control some semi-decimated fort in the middle of nowhere is horribly wrong? I'm sorry anyone has to die in these skirmishes but at least we're not losing Nobel Laureates, you know? And, apparently women might be selected in this draft. I would happily vote for a female president (e.g. Hillary Clinton)--I think it would be a pleasant change of pace but I think all of the women with the necessary kill-or-be-killed mentality are already in the armed forces. I certainly don't have a kill-or-be-killed mentality--I'm not saying that anyone sitting safely in their home watching reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond would want me defending the country on the other side of the world either. I'm just saying that there needs to be a new plan because this one is not working.

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