Contest Winner! | 11/19/07
Although it was a hard-fought battle, the immoral majority voted for Chris V. to be the winner of the 2007 Spin It Contest. He wins not only this fabulous picture for use in his next campaign (can you tell I've never drawn a suit and tie before?) but a $20 contribution to said campaign or to the merchant of his choice. Congratulations Chris!
My Fellow Americans, we live in wonderful times. The cost of housing is dropping dramatically giving the poor more of an opportunity to buy a house. The United States has lowered the price of the dollar to undercut high priced European and Canadian currencies. Americans are spending more and more and our wonderful system of credit has allowed for the average American to borrow much needed funds to begin a fruitful life and secure the American dream. Families are strong, with an astounding 50% of all marriages succeeding. Economic growth in the military sector has exceeded all expectations. We are also winning the war against Global Envirofascism. Iím happy to report that millions of previously useless trees have been turned into much needed paper, creating more jobs in paper mills and office supply stores. On another note, in 2008 we intend to help the people of Iran curb their future overpopulation problem.
Best lines from the other contestants:
From Steve: Not only do we have our eye overseas, but thanks to our progressive land improvements you can see coast to coast a lot easier than you used to, as we've gone ahead and removed many of the visual impairments between.
From T-Chris: Iím happy to report that half of all marriages in America stay together. Thatís one out of every two: not one out of every three or four or five, but 50%. Iíll take a .500 batting average any day!
Happy Birthday Dad!