Guest Entry III: Jamie | 12/23/03
You didn't break my finger Mike...liar!
Today is one of my favorite days of the year. Christmas Eve Day's Eve. In my family, it is the day that my mother schedules any sort of Illinois-only appointments. Today was the dentist. I guess I'm getting ahead of myself. I woke up at 8am to Chompy breathing in my face. I rolled over but she kept breathing that "take me out breath" until my dad finally took her out (I was up late playing SimCity again and was way too tired to take her out so early). I woke up for keeps around 11am, where I played a little SimCity and chatted to Jamie, Brian and Marty online. Jamie told me that she was going to play tennis with some guy she played with in high school. If myself, an only semi-star tennis player could break her finger, who knows what this guy will do. Boy, I've broken a lot of people's fingers. I'm sorry: Jamie, Dr. Shaftel, Beth and whomever else I'm forgetting r ight now. Oh, but Old Fat Guy, I'm not sorry at all about punching you. Go on a diet Fatty McChunk. So I managed to do absolutely nothing until 3pm, when I went to the dentist. Some teenage girl made eyes at me in the waiting room and she was pretty cute (for a high school senior). Sadly, she was there WITH HER KID and undoubtedly just on the prowl for some handsome, rich, benevolent man to wed her and to play Candyland with her young daughter. Alas, I do not like Candyland. Apparently, flossing like a fiend really does help your teeth. I was in and out in about 20 minutes instead of the usual three hours while Dr. Joanna hacks away at the plaque with some sort of antique chisel and hammer. There was no blood or guts this time, a nice change of pace. I had yet another cavity-less trip. Hooray. After the dentist I went to visit with my grandma Doris since she only lives a couple blocks away in Montegomery (eek), IL. Montegomery is not the kind of place that you want to live. As far as I know, she is the only person in the city that admits to living there. Not that it's horribly crime ridden or has houses made from old ritz cracker boxes, but it's just kind of got that generic small-city/medium-size-town feel. If you're not from the midwest, you can't really understand what this is like. There are no places like this in Florida. And if you're from Florida and you think you know what I'm talking about ("Yeah, dude, like Quincy) you're just totally wrong and stupid. Anyway, I spent a good four hours there just sitting and talking. My grandma is the best. It snowed on the way home, so I got to refresh my ice-driving skills. After I ate my Burger King dinner, I played some Pictionary with Steve and the family. We only played two games, the first of which my parents didn't even get a turn to play. The second game, Steve and I came back from about 25 spaces to eek out a win and continue our life-long winning streak over my artistically retarded parents. Although they are not talented in the art of drawing (my dad in particular), they are always good for at least one hysterical drawing. If I had a scanner, I'd scan his picture for the word "crack" tonight. I guess you'll just have to take my word for how funny it was. Picture a stickman encased in some sort of rubber-band sarcophagus and you might get the basic idea. After our stunning wins, Chompy and I played her favorite game "I've Got Steggy and Since You Don't, You Should Want To Chase Me All Over the F'ing House To Get It Back And If You So Much As Look Disinterested I'll Severe A Toe With One Bite." After that, two of Steve's friends came over and we played Euchre. My partner had never played before and made some of the following calls:
1) Ordered Hearts on: 9C,10C, QH, 9D, KS
2) Ordered Nothing on: JH, JD, AH, JS, JC ("I was four suited....")
3) Ordered Clubs on: all 9's and a 10 of clubs
We still won the first game and would have won the second game except for the fact my brother's partner cheated. He didn't follow suit to preserve trump twice AND dealt two times in a row after he passed (It's called STICK THE DEALER for a reason, dumbass) on a call the first time. I won a lot of tricks tonight by just calling my best hand. Even if I had next to nothing I still called it and won. I need to remember all my strategies for tomorrow, so I can beat my cousin and my grandma. Sometime before now and then I need to get Steve to learn when to lead trump. If he plays like he did tonight I don't see any victories in my near future, though.