Big Fat F | 05/01/08
I give last night's episode a BIG, FAT F. I would have thought with all the downtime of the writers strike they would have, I don't know, made an episode where SOMETHING HAPPENS. I'm not sure what's with my new fascination with typing things all in caps but I blame that little girl at the Cubs game. I could not have been less happy about last night's episode had Charlie come back and we'd seen 40 minutes of Claire going "CHAW-LEE". Not only did nothing happen, but they didn't even really allude to anything that we couldn't have figured out on our own. I'm not talking about speculation on the smoke monster or anything even remotely debatable. What?! Kate is doing something for Sawyer! What?! There are people still on the island?! And just for the record, I would like to meet someone who can audible "hear" Morse Code like Bernard did in the last episode. Another thing that aggravates me is the devil-may-care attitude of the island when it comes to helping people. Boone died--remember Boone? And so did Shannon. And so did Mr. Eko. Time travel or not, why aren't they alive then? Jack surely does not have appendicitis. Didn't the smoke monster kill more of the mercenaries? Man, I'm pissed at last night's episode. I could written a better episode with only Jin, Sawyer, and Miker. It would have consisted solely of Jin saying "Miker!" and Sawyer replying "shut up Insult-Here". I guess I don't even need Miker at all.
They should have hired me during the writers strike. I would have killed off all the non-essential characters and given them a lot more to work with. On MY island we'd only have Ben, John, Sayid, Jin, Sawyer and Juliet. Oh, and Vincent the dog. I couldn't kill off the dog.