Matt and Rosemary | 03/22/04

So much for my theory. I thought if I could manage to get a lot things done, be responsible, act nicely and just keep it all together I'd be pretty happy. Well, it didn't work. I did well on my atonal homework and I'm confident I'll get some sort of A on the quiz Wednesday. After class I had a great meeting with Dr. Clendinning because I had prepared. I got some scores from the steel band room and sorted through what I needed copied. So far so good. I came home to eat some lunch--leftovers from last night. Delicious. I trotted back to school for a few hours to practice and things went really well. I came home for a few minutes to walk the Number One Pup and then went back again to practice more. Jamie came to practice after work and we stayed there until about 7:30. Chris and Mike came over bearing gifts in the form of brownies. Apparently it was Ian's birthday today. Happy birthday. I'm not your friend apparently but I still knew you were having a party. I really feel like I don't belong to any clique anymore. I feel as though I should feel bad about it but I just don't care. Two of my friends from college, Matt and Rosemary, are going to come down and visit me next month. I'm kind of ashamed of the person I've become down here. I know what they're going to tell me when they get here--that I've changed. And not for the better. I thought coming to FSU over NU was a great idea at the time. Same degree, so much less work. I was sort of right. Because there's not a lot of "real" work to do, everyone here, myself definitely included, sort of falls into this weird stasis. What's really weird is watching the interactions between people who, if given a choice, would not be friends. For some reason, there's some serious friend-settling here. I feel very grateful to have made such good friends in Wisconsin because things are...well, just different here. There's really no other way to describe it than settling. The secret, of course, was discovered by Brian in his tenure here. Keep mostly to yourself, be nice, get slammed with your quasi-friends every now and then, do your thing, get the hell out and then pretend like the state never existed. That's my new plan.




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