Highlights and Lowlights: Fifth Grade | 04/13/04


is a Giant Ant that is Undead, was Created by a Radioactive Accident, fears the Military, and has a Massively Swollen Skull.

Strength: 6 Agility: 5 Intelligence: 12

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Why yes, I am a Giant Ant. Since I had a little bit of time between two of my classes I did a single-round eliminator tournament with all the members of Mas N' Steel and Matt Flynn was the winner. After such a long entry last night I don't really feel like discussing the nuances of my day since nothing of particular interest happened. Just one of those days that I'll refer back to when I'm on my deathbed and I wonder where the time went.

Fifth Grade

Highlight: Fifth grade was the peak of my popularity. I was friends with all the cool kids even though I still had velcro shoes but soon enough they were to be replaced by British Knights! Sweet! Ok, they still weren't Nike or Reebok but at least I had the option of tying them. This is a really cheesy highlight but the best part was answering Dear Santa letters written by the kindergarten classes. It really made me feel good, but then again, I felt good all the time in 5th grade. Hell, we got to play kickball during classtime on nice days.

Lowlight: Somehow I managed to get my name on the board with two checkmarks, which meant I was sent to the principal's office. I can't remember what Mrs. White said but my reply was "a long way 'til college." Everyone laughed and she got really, really pissed. Now that I'm a teacher I can understand that sometimes the littlest things can set you off into a spiral of student-destruction but back then I felt it was totally unmerited. Come on, two checks? It's not like I got into Jessica F*hey's pants like one Matt Sch*uer. I was so mad because I was totally in love with her at the time. Unfortunately, she got really hairy in middle school and everyone called her orangutan at the lunch table. I think it was this traumatic experience that turned her into the...less-than-virtuous girl she was in high school.




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