Dear Student | 06/15/04
Dear Student A,
Thanks for letting me know. I'm really glad you told me this time because after missing all of last week I was really becoming concerned for you. After talking to your other TAs I know you are speaking the truth when you say, "not because I'm a slacker who likes to skip your class." We, collectively, determined that you are a slacker that likes to skip ALL your classes, so I'll try not to take it too personally that you've only come three times so far this semester--I still get paid. As for the quiz, thank you so much for reminding me! As your personal scheduler, I of course will move the quiz to when it is the most convenient for you and no, it's not at all inconvenient for me (and your classmates). Although I won't know this for another couple of months, you will fail my class with a whopping 38%, nearly the lowest semester-grade I've ever calculated. Keep up the good work!
Ok, Oscar Wilde might not have been impressed by the rapier-like wit of that but it'll take me a couple to get into the swing of it.