Buggles | 09/12/06

Underneath the trashcan in my kitchen is a huge, dead roach. Unlike the typical 1"-1.5" roaches that typically dine with me nightly this one is about 3.5". I came home yesterday and it was laying in the middle of my kitchen floor on its back, nearly dead. My initial thought was "go get the dog". I got the dog. She informed that since it was dead she had no interest because she would not be able to kill it. I rebutted that it was not entirely dead; it's left antannae was still sending out blips calling for backup. Chompy left and ate some food. I had just spent the past hour throwing people around a room. Large, muscular people and landing dozens of blows across their bodies with Swiss precision. Suddenly there is, for intents and purposes (thanks Kathy!), a very, very small non-muscular person in my kitchen and despite six arms can't defend himself. Yet I can't fight him off. Mustering up every ounce of strength I lift my garbage can and smack it down on him (Smackdown!) and go about my day. So if any of you who still in town want to come by and clean up a big dead roach from under my trash can please just stop by. Thanks.




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