America's Funniest Home Videos | 08/15/04
Why yes, that is a roll of brown packing/wrapping paper. Last night we were watching America's Funniest Home Videos, a show I hadn't seen since I was about 12. One of their new features was "Dogs Spinning from Ropes VS. People Spinning on Bats. The dogs spinning on ropes is pretty self-explanatory but for the bat part, you take a baseball bat, put it on the ground upright, put your forehead on the bat, hunch over and spin yourself around the bat while holding it to the ground and then, the best part, you run somewhere. The dogs were cute but the people with the bats just looked retarded. Not having been to any summer camps, I had never done this before and decided that anyone who would fall over had to be completely retarded. Jamie totally called me on it and we went outside with a roll of wrapping paper. The hardest part was spinning around the short little tube and trying to look innocent when cars would drive by. I eventually made it to six spins but wasn't dizzy enough to make it funny. Beardo was next and he spun around a good eight time pretty fast and ran towards the assigned flagpole but fell over after two or three steps. Once I had seen his spinning technique I decided to give it another go. Sure enough I keeled over onto my left side after a couple of steps but far short of the flagpole. True, whenever someone fell the other two people laughed but I don't think it should have been on America's Funniest Home Videos. It wasn't that funny.