Hurricane Francis | 09/03/04
Hurricane Frances, where are you? It has been rumored you are moving at a whopping 5mph towards us. At that rate, assuming you took a straight line to Tallahassee from West Palm Beach, you'll be here in a little under three and a half days. However, if you followed that route, you'd weaken to nothing before you could even douse Gainesville and The Premier Music School Of The South. Come on now, step it up a bit, eh?
I have some more details for my new job. Let me first explain my old job. The Justice Administrative Commission is a new branch of the state government that essentially functions as a huge Accounts Payable department for the 20 circuit courts of the state. The lawyers send us their fees-per-case and we pay them. In order to be paid, however, we need to approve their charges. In the attempt of getting everything together, ever court-appointed lawyer in the state had to send us all of their paperwork since July 1st. You wouldn't think this would be very much, but unfortunately Florida, collectively, commits a ton of crimes. I had one of the smaller sections to start, Circuit 9, which is the Orlando area: Orange and Osceola counties. I had a little over 800 cases, which made about six accordion binders of papers. For each case I had to take an empty manila folder and write the following: 9 County Case Number. The problem is that the case numbers are really long and after using a Sharpie for a while, you have no choice but to write really big. Since most of the offenses were in Orange county, I took to figuring out all of the possible anagrams of "Orange". The biggest problem, though, was the fact no two people use the same case numbers. Therefore you could have Lawyer Jane Doe using DP-001 and Lawyer Chompy Doe using DP-001, one for a murder one charge and the other using it for the theft of a pack of gum from a three-year old. I literally did nothing but write that on folders for two days. It also made my old job at the chemical factory look good. At least I could walk around there.
My new job is "Records Manager". I will have at least one employee to do my bidding and that makes me excited. The down side is that although I start my new duties on Tuesday, I still have to work for the same horrible pay through Manpower until my contract ends in three weeks. At that time they sign me and do all the official things that go with having a real job. I don't know what these things are exactly because I've never had a real job before but I am certainly excited.