Guest Entry Steve (3) | 09/08/04

Nothing happened again today. I woke up and found out that, in the words of Mike, “it was so cold that I needed to wear jeans.” Now normally that would be an alright sentence, except that being in Florida has spoiled him and that fact that weatherbug said it was 62 degrees outside would make him throw a sweatshirt and other heavy clothes on. I went to my classes and was bored out of my mind. Although my one class is getting better despite it being one of the hardest classes I think I will ever take. I also got around today to thinking that I want to go to a big school so that I can watch some football games. WIU recently played the Cornhuskers of Nebraska (we lost, but made $350,000 from the game) and heard that on game day, the stadium becomes the third largest city in the state. I think it would be cool to see that many people together cheering for a team. I know that at FSU that stadium most hold almost 90,000 people if not more. Damn, that’s a lot. Tonight I had a meeting to preside over and have been planning a picnic for one of the coming weeks. It’s been a pain to get it together, but hopefully everything will fall into place. On another note, I’m not feeling that great and it doesn’t have anything to do with the Cubs getting shutout tonight by a guy who was 2-7 coming into the game. Go Cubs, keep screwing with the hearts of the fans. I can’t wait until I get an ulcer when I’m 30 because of all the games you’ve blown, made close when they shouldn’t have been, or just played like crap. Yep, that’s it. I’m going to get some sleep tonight because I’m exhausted and don’t feel good in the least.

=====September 8, 2004:Mike=====

Oh my God. Steve, I love you like a brother but you are the only person to have a more boring life than me. Here's a little story about my crappy day. 6am: Wake up and check my email...no reply yet from a secret source (which will be revealed if he should reply). Made it to work on time. I went to see Vick-Vick about my new job duties but she was in a meeting. I sat outside her office for a few minutes then headed back to my lavish cubicle. I started sorting my previously scrawled-upon folders while admiring my decor of a single sheet of paper pushpinned to my wall that says: HE'S A SEMANOLE (sic) MAN! given to me by one of my fellow temps. Underneath the bastardization of the school's mascot the other temp, Nick (the token U-Miami fan), wrote: HATER HATER HATER!! Since I had nothing else hanging up I decided to leave it there, since the crumple-lines of the sheet of paper add a pleasant texture to the general aura of my cubicle. At 9:45 Wayne came in and told me Vick-a-Vac wanted me to sit in on a demonstration of the new $12k scanner we might buy. Two hours and a horrific presentation later I trudged back to my cubicle to get my phone and then head to lunch. But no. I ran into Immediate-Supervisor-Sharon. Sharon is the female version of the boss from Office Space but also a total bitch. She told me this afternoon I'd be working somewhere else to make up for the absence of another employee and that I wouldn't be doing folders like this morning. Irritated by the fact she calls me every m-name except for Mike or Michael, I offered that I hadn't been doing folders all morning and that my job this afternoon was to research other expensive scanners so we could bilk the taxpayers of Florida out of their hard earned property taxes. At this point she goes insane. She storms off and reminds me that I'm "just a temp" and to see her immediately after I got back from lunch. Kiss my ass, bitch. I didn't actually tell her to kiss my ass but just walked away fantasizing about me sitting in her office with my name on the plaque and reminding her that she's "just a bitch" and she was fired. The fantasy then moved to me running into her outside Publix and me saying (a la Family Guy), "I love to stay and chat but you're a total bitch". I walked down to City Hall to pay my electric bill and went back to work after a short lunch. Surprise, surprise, Thick-Glasses-On-A-Neon-Band-Sharon was still out to lunch and didn't come back until 2pm. In the meantime I hung out with my new employee (or, as my mom informed me, my direct-report) Cathy. Cathy has children older than me and quit her old job as a truck driver because her route made her drive past the place where her son died in a car accident. She and I are both pretty laid back but like to stay busy so that makes me happy. I finally caught up with Baby-Eating Sharon and she apparently got the Vicks-Vap-o-Rub smackdown. She told me a new temp was coming tomorrow to do my garish old job and that I was free to do whatever I was "supposed" to be doing. Cathy and I spent the next hour looking at other scanners online before some random woman walked into the extra cubicle where we were and asked if we were employees. I fought my gut reaction to tell her that the homeless shelter was full and we'd be staying here until our stamps came in and just nodded. She was concerned that we were tampering with the files she had stupidly left in the extra cubicle. My first duty as Record Manager is to purge all her files. Well, learn her name first. Then purge all her files. A few hours later our new supervisor, ???, ran into Cathy and gave her a new cubicle so I was left to checking my email the last 45 minutes of the day. Tomorrow I have absolutely no idea whatsoever as to what I'm supposed to do. God, I love my job.

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