White Sox Suck | 10/02/04

That's right, the Cubs are out of the playoffs. FSU won today, though, so I don't feel totally terrible about my teams. Regarding the quote, though, a) I'm too sick to drink, b) they're not my Cubs and c)...well, let's look at this next graphic.

As we can see here, the "suckiest bunch of sucks who ever sucked" would, assuming they were in the same league, be ahead of the hardly-beloved White Sox. In fact, even as the Cubs toil in non-playoff misery, they are six games "ahead" of the White Sucks. And while the subject is sucking, let's look at your division. Could it be our 2nd place team is only a half game out from your first place team? Could it be your team, despite playing in the worst overall division could only manage a paltry second place finish?

Now, I know what you're going to say. The Cubs payroll is so much greater, etc. Well that's because as fans, we support our teams by going to games. If people would show up to your games, perhaps you would find your GM taking some interest in developing a good team. Ah, but no. And since you're so miserable, the only joy you can take is watching the far-and-away favorite Chicago team lose. That in and of itself speaks volumes about the type of fan you are. Your team offers you so little that all you can do is root against the better team. But you can't root for the Cubs, oh no. Why? Because you'd like to consider yourself to be different. You spew this rhetoric about other reasons but Sox fans just love to think that they're this rogue group of true fans that won't give in to the corporate sellings-out of the Cubs. But really, you're just as sad as we are. Granted, it's sad in a different way. Ours is the healthy, open sadness that comes from confronting those things that make us sad. Yours is the type of brooding, self-loathing/everything-loathing that can only be defined as pathetic. So to you, dear White Sox fans, you are pathetic and stop wasting your time hating the Cubs because your team has plenty to hate.

Sorry, non-sports fans. My birthday is only a week away. Think of good gifts.




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