Paranoid Personality Disorder | 10/20/04

My paranoid personality disorder hit full-on today when I came home from work. I was outside with the dog and noticed the matchbox on the grill was open. And not just opened, but meticulously taken apart. Making it weirder was the fact the matches were still all in a perfect stack. I realize my backyard is infested with flies and smells like an outhouse, but why would one of my neighbors do this? What if they didn't know of my acute sense of...well, everything around me? Long story short, after freaking out for a while, it became clear that the rain over the past couple of days had loosened the glue.

I watched the Red Sox win tonight. I admit, I was rooting for the Yankees. I know, that makes me a terrible person. It's not that I don't hate the Yankees--I do. But I really hate Red Sox fans. Oh, we're so poor and pathetic. Oh boo hoo is us...we're cursed. No, you're not cursed, you just suck. You can't field, hit nor pitch. That's not some sort of cosmic hatred, it's that you're just not the best team. Hopefully this will shut their fans up. Not that it really matters since the Cardinals are going to sweep them in four games. Or the Astros. Whomever, it doesn't matter. I always root for the NL team and this year is no exception despite the fact the Cardinals and the Astros are the sworn enemies of my beloved Cubs.

I think I did about an hour of work today.




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