Winning Attitude | 11/01/04

I know what you're thinking. It's November, so why are we still on the October page? I'll tell you. Because I'm too lazy to make a new page right now. It's not just making a new page, you see. It's a whole ordeal. Speaking of ordeals, I've got one at work. Well, let me start with a different story. There's this moron who works in HR. We were approved to get an hour of admin leave to vote. I voted early and wanted my retroactive leave so I put it as such on my time sheet. At 4:45 I get this reply saying my voting for in the October Primary is not approved. What the hell, you idiot? Where on earth have you been? The October Primary? Do they typically hold the primary a week before the election? Here's a thought, stop having babies and getting baby showers at work and READ THE NEWS. LISTEN TO THE NEWS. WATCH THE NEWS. Hell, watch your MTV while breast-feeding your brats. Do something you fool.

As you can see from my winning attitude, I'm the kind of person that commands respect. So much respect that I was called to my first real meeting today. I was offering fake smiles and pretending to write down notes while thinking about Chompy while the other five people were talking. Then--bam. The IT Director is looking at me, telling the boss-boss that I'm the project manager for this huge project. I can't say how huge it is because I was picturing Chompy buried at the beach while the project proportions were being discussed. I tried to play it cool even though I only knew about 10% of the acronyms and pretended that I had coordinated a dozen people before.

I always kind of wondered how teachers became teachers. Like, you go from being a student to a teacher in like, zero steps. Sure, education majors student-teach but that can't really prepare you. I found out the usual way is the way I was ordained--by just getting thrown completely under-prepared. Similarly, I wondered how the head of accounting became the head of accounting. I mean, how many ways can you make numbers work? Seriously. Managing records is easy--they don't fight back and on the whole don't even mind being shredded. People, though--they're crazy. And what influence do I have--it's not like I get to assign grades afterwards. Did I mention that I have no idea what exactly the project is? Looks like tomorrow is a sick day.




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