All About Brian | 02/10/05
You should probably read Brian's entry before you continue with this one or this won't make a whole lot of sense.
It's weird to think that I would even know someone in Brian's position. It's not like I hang out in basements in DC or in cramped dorm rooms at MIT trying to choke down my cheers as I watch code compile.
Seriously, though, is there anyone you'd want in a position of power more than Brian? Certainly not me and, sorry everyone else, you have some sort of flaw that I can think of. It might not be a mental deficiency but maybe you complain a lot (knocking myself out of contention) or just enjoy life too much (you need to be singularly focused on doing stuff). Let's face it, Brian's work ethic is legendary. I can't tell you how many stories begin with, "I went to grad school with this guy who..." and end with "can you believe that sh--?" Anyway, we're all proud of you, even though if you weren't so modest we'd want to kill ourselves because we all feel like failures next to you.
Little does the guy from the Department of Defense know that I have my own list of questions?
1) Is it true you can't laugh or smile? Can I try some jokes to see?
2) Can I work there pulling staples out of packets of paper?
3) How long would it take you to kill me?
4) Do people down there ever worry about practical jokes from the company that manufactures the badges--instead of putting Department of Defense putting like something Department of Dorks and no one catching it?
5) Will Brian be allowed to kill people? Aside from not asking these questions, how can I ensure I am never on the list of people he's supposed to kill?