FSU Decimates Miami | 09/05/05
Enjoy your raft trip back to Miami you hoodlums. You come up here with your tripped out hoopdies wearing your gold chains and stealing our TVs and now it's time for you to go. Oh sure, there were a TON of you at the game. Probably a good 1/8 of the crowd. Yep, you were all bowing at Devon Hester on the first kick-off thinking he was going to run it back for a touch down. But oh no. That didn't happen. There was silence--a deafening silence only worsened by your fake gold jewlery gleaming in the lights of Doak Campbell Stadium. You had some creative T-shirts and signs: the word Choke spelled out like on a Coke can...all the green and orange signs that screamed WIDE RIGHT!!! but it didn't matter. Not for us anyway, since you were the team that couldn't get off three field goals. We did our best to give you the game. Our offense anyway. You know it's bad when the collective statement from the FSU crowd is: Would it be nice if Chris Rix enrolled for a masters degree? Do we care you had twice the yardage? Hell no we don't. Do we care that we missed a field goal? Hell no we don't. All we care about is that you're now back in Miami and we won't have to see your ugly-guy hot-girl couples for another year. See ya.
Finally, as a tribute to the NCAA, right before the FSU-Chief-Osceola-on-a-horse slammed the spear into the 50 yard line logo, he quickly handed it off to a member of the Seminole Tribe who slammed it in for him. Nothing like a big F-U from Free Shoes University.