Fake SMiles | 09/16/05
Have you ever seen two more fake smiles? Ah, politics. George Bush loves to talk about freeing the world from tyranny. Yet there is he shaking hands with Hu Jintao. And smiling. At least I understand why Jintao is smiling--China essentially owns the United States--they own about $1 trillion of our debt. They're not going to call it in any time soon, of course. If they did, our economy would collapse and bring down the rest of the world's with it. But when you own $1 trillion of any other country, you can be pretty sure they're not going to interfere with ...a certain nameless island off your coast. Even if that little island has been promised it would be protected by the world's largest collection of armed forces. So once China decides it wants to take over Taiwan for keeps, they're going to do it. And then, my friends, we're screwed. Do we show the world how much we love to blow smoke and let China just do it? Or do we try to save Taiwan and have China destroy us in every way fathomable? The only other option is to blow the off the planet before they can retaliate but I have a feeling the World At Large would not be too happy and probably then blow us off the planet. So if any of you have a trillion dollars and want to own the United States...you know, do it. Ok, Bill?
(Mini-Update: 2am) I just came up with a joke. What's Cindy Sheehan's preferred means of contraception? Pulling Out.
Oh man, I should work for Leno.