Turd Sandwich vs. Giant Douch | 10/19/05

Looks like it's going to be the dreaded Astros versus the dreaded White Sox in the World Series. I really don't like either team but I have to root for Houston or else mark will ensure I never hear the end of it...even more than now if that's humanly possible. You know what I hate? Commercials for booze that end, "Insert-name-here is best enjoyed responsibly". I don't think so. Whatever it is, it's best enjoyed with no moderation whatsoever. Who wants one beer? Esepcially if you can have a dozen. It's your 21st birthday--you're not going to go out and enjoy shots responsibly. Whatever.

I talked to Rosemary online today, one of my friends from my college days in Wisconsin. That seems like a really long time ago. The more I think about it the less tangible memories I have. I think I have three and two are from my ex-girlfriend Stacie. Speaking of unhealthy relationships...just kidding. Sorta. Anyway, the first item is a cassette tape we recorded one of my last nights there. We were all pretty wasted but we recorded some stories. If I had a tape player I'd listen to it since I really only remember the big ones now. Something I do remember from that night, though, is Kristi W's (I've learned my lesson in using last names) water bong bubbling constantly in the background and thinking, "Am I going to listen to this in ten years and think that I was getting high?" The next item up for bids are these damn seals on the dashboard of my car. I've tried to get rid of them for years but I can't. It's not for sentimental reasons either. They've been in my car for so long that when they're not there I don't drive in the center of my lane and frequently drive into the shoulder. I've also tried replacing it with other (and more manly things like beer cans, car engines and nudy magazines) but nothing can take those seals' place. Stacie said she bought two and sewed them together but now that I think about it I don't remember her being that domestic. Not that there's anything wrong with that--she did teach me how to make the now-famous sauce-free pizza--but it just didn't make sense. The final trinket's use has gone from decoration to functional. She had made me this cup-thing at a pottery shop. For a long time I kept it in an old box but once I got a dog I quickly broke the little Jim Beam cup that I used to portion out Chompy's food. Not wanting to use a normal cup I remembered I had that one and for the past three years the cup has lived with the dog food. And that's it. Those three things.

Aside from Rosemary and occasionally her husband Matt, I don't keep in touch with anyone. It's funny because when I think of the term Best Friend(s) I usually think of those people although I haven't really talked to them in about two years. Typing "Dave Cywinski" into Google tricks me into thinking he's a Pediatrician or a Groundskeeper. I really can't see him doing either. God can only guess what Andy's up to. Now Andy I believe could be either a Pediatrician or a Groundskeeper. If you met him you'd totally understand. If only FSU were in Milwaukee. I'd definitely go there for my doctorate but UWM sucks and Tallahassee sucks so it's unfortunate I couldn't pick up the campus and somehow drop it up there. Alas.

How do you know when you've got a high-responsibility job? When if you don't do your job not only do you not paid but your co-workers get laid off. These next couple weeks should be interesting. Tomorrow I go "balls out". We'll see how that goes.




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