Green Grass | 01/24/06

What's up with guys under 5'3"? Why are the always walking like they have a measuring stick down the back of their shirts (I might point out that it only would take a measuring stick). jamie and I went to shoot pool last night and the guy at the table next to us was all up in his short-man complex. He looked like a (partially-raised of course) loaf of bread with an untucked white dress shirt and khakis. In all of his boxy glory he would walk around the table all puffed up as though he were practicing for the Olympic Breath Holding Team. Dude, we can tell! We know you're short and want to make up for it by being buff! We get it! My advice to him would be rather than wasting his money working out his proportionally compacted muscles he spend his monthly dues buying step ladders and paying people to hold onto them at the places he frequents. Let's face it, he got in a fight with me I could probably hold him away from my body and he wouldn't be able to punch me but if the bartender had a step-stool behind the bar she could just bring it out to him and then he'd have the element of surprise. You know, just a thought.




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