Ruture Rapist | 04/20/06

Today was a pretty good day. christine brought me Monica, her old (my new) pleco and we transitioned him smoothly into my big tank. She's about the size of Chris Rix but hopefully she's a little more hungry for algae than he is. At work Kurt had a successful meeting in Chicago with HFC which means my life will probably get easier as a result; never a bad thing. In karate I got to beat up this 13 year old and, to top it all off, I knocked off tchris to reclaim 2nd place in the PCS.

This 13 year old kid is going to be a rapist or a serial killer. I'm not sure which yet. First of all, he's a fat dork. Skinny dorks become cool musician hipsters and fat dorks turn into serial rapists. It's basic knowledge. Once that moustache fills in...yikes. Anyway. He was my partner AGAIN tonight even though two weeks ago I had told him my personal goal in karate was to never speak to him again. We spend the half hour doing knife defenses and take downs. While stabbing me with the fake knife, he would NOT SHUT UP about how to goes to flea markets to buy things he can sharpen into weapons to take into the forest. Or how he has special throwing knives and one stuck in his foot but it didn't hurt. Or how the guts spill out of things when they're sliced open. Healthy. This in addition to the constant complaining about how my knife counterstrikes wouldn't hurt him enough. SHUT UP KID! He always puts on a show when the instructors walk around--both by making you look bad by not doing what he's supposed to do or really hammering you when it's his turn. Last night I had enough and fucking took his ass down. Once our main instructor walked over I knew he was going to try to do something to make me look like a fool so when it came time for the drop I caught him right below the neck (we're supposed to hit the chest) and swept the hell out of his leg. He went down hard. I was laughing so hard at this point I couldn't bring myself to finish him with the face punch. Because I didn't finish it our instructor asked me to do it again so I did it the exact same way again and dropped him again to the point where the slapping-out did him no good. Take that 13 year old. You're MY bitch now!




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