Human Trafficking | 04/22/06
jamie made me watch a movie yesterday. A four hour movie. About human trafficking. On Lifetime. So before you complain about your day, just shut it. Mira Sorvino was an extremely convincing cop, especially the part where she walked into the Department of Homeland Security, asked some guy (the professor on Animal House who bangs the guy's girlfriend at the end) for a job and a few weeks later was giving the information so the President could be briefed. I can tell you this much, I thought for sure I'd get to see some action but no. A couple of side-boobs here and there but not enough to compensate for the four hour commitment. In all honesty though, I did learn a lot from the movie: Russia is still our enemy despite being filled with hot girls. If you're ever in the Philippines and you're white don't ever, EVER, talk to any native Filipino under the age of 40 or else secret anti-trafficking women will run up to you with cameras and accuse of you being a pedophile. If you're a woman, don't ever, EVER, go on a date with an attractive man anywhere in the world. He's just going to sell you. Ugly men are ok (unless you're a little boy). If your child is kidnapped and sold into sexual slavery it is only the wife's responsibility to worry about it--the husband must return to America and work to pay for you to stay abroad and complain about how you're only working and not helping her look. Everyone in the world speaks English except words that you already know in a foreign language. A good example of this, "Perdon Senior, I was mildly curious to know why you insist on exacerbating this horrific situation. Perhaps we could settle this over a glass of agua." Seriously, though, (according to Lifetime) 800,000 people are trafficked worldwide each year (they don't mention that 780,000 are trafficked into America to maintain the lawns of Lifetime executives) and it's the third most profitable illegal activity after drugs and weapons smuggling.
We went over to pchris and elena's last night to celebrate Chris officially getting out of the military. We got to put on his clothes and play with guns. And we were drinking. Heavily. The only casualty was Jamie, who I accidentally punched in the face.