So I'm At Target | 01/27/07
So I'm at Target buying some timers for my aquarium lights. I'm not really responsible enough to care for animals that don't alert me to their condition (see the dog headbutting me) so I lie to myself about the fish, trying to believe I am training them to glow because that's what deep sea fish do because there is not light, right?
So I'm at Target buying some timers for my aquarium lights. And walking in at the same time is this beautiful girl of about my age. Very trendy in some sort of coat they'd make some unshaved man wear on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. We both reach for a cart because hey, it's Target and who knows what you might need to buy. This girl then does something that can only be described as the Golly Green Giant stepping on an equally proportioned duck. I know that near-30 year olds aren't supposed to write blog entries about farting but this particular butt belch was one of legend. If fonts could have stink lines I would use them here.
So I'm at Target buying some timers for my aquarium lights. But now I'm in this cloud of gas. I leave the cart behind and start power walking towards the Home Improvement section and I am ready to be alone so I can laugh hysterically. I round the corner past the boyswear and I start laughing like a crazy person--I can't help it. I turn around to see who exactly I've embarassed myself in front of and lo and behold here comes the girl who looks as though she's about to tell me something urgent (like hey, pull my finger...well, pull this other one). I'm obviously busted in terms of laughing so I pretend I'm deep in deliberation on what novelty cap to buy--the one with a Nintendo Controller on it that says "Role Model" or the one with one of the South Park kids on it. Decisions decisions. So she comes up to me and without making eye contact says, "I am SO sorry" and walks away.
And that was that--got my fish timers and called it a day.