Hazing Ideas | 01/30/07

Here are some things I'd do if it were my job to haze someone.

Pretend like we were going on a road trip and then dump them off in the Everglades. I would also try to ensure they were naked by this point.

Punch them in the stomach every time they said a word OR, if they were tired of being punched, they could pay me $10 for each punch they wanted to get out of. Just FYI, if the tried to fight back I would beat them until they were unconscious and then bright them back to the Everglades.

Keep a ton of snakes in their closet, lock them in their bedroom (is that how frat houses work?), then pull a string to release all the snakes while they were sleeping. Yeah, they'd be poisonous. If they screamed in fear that would just increase the Stomach Punch or $10 counter. If they begged to get out they would be brought back to the Everglades because there is no way we'd allow pansies on my fraternity. They could make a film out of this.

I would dress them in long, white sheets then command my fraternity brothers to use them as toilet paper. If any of them removed the sheets before the month of wearing was up I would simply line ALL of them up, in the spirit of brotherhood, and hire monkeys to throw feces at them. Since monkeys probably would not be available to a frat house, we might have to do it ourselves but that's fine.

I would make them all sit down at long tables and force them to eat the pages of Playgirl just to mess with their heads. I would invite our sister sorority to come watch and throw feces at them while they did it.

After the pledge drive was over I would immediately decharter the fraternity so they would have gone through all of that for absolutely nothing. What better what to prepare them for life?

Comments

Your a jackass (11/17/11)

Probably went to school in some 100 square foot shack in a field in mississippi...

Hi (11/30/11)

Dumbass......dude instead of Throwing the shit at them y dont u guys just shove it up all ur jackasses pussys

Kuggykongo (11/30/11)

Wht dont u guys go to the everglades so the gators can eat ur pussys out

Wayne (12/06/11)

1Corinthians 15:3 For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; 15:4 And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures: Romans 10:9 That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.

Wayne (12/06/11)

Matthew 12:36 But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.

Wayne (12/06/11)

Romans 14:12 So then every one of us shall give account of himself to God.

Wayne (12/06/11)

Hebrews 9:27 And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment:

Wayne (12/06/11)

Revelation 20:15 And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire. ( to remain forever )

go fuck yourself asshole (12/17/11)

Eat my shit bitch, Go to hell, What kind of sick bastard would do that, Your a pussy. You are a sick!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As the greeks would say I hope you burn in tarturus

(12/30/11)

JACKASS!!!!

Lulz (05/17/12)

This is great. I enjoyed this. And everyone: it's you're.

P-Chris (Unknown)

So you'd join Chuck Norris' Farternity.

SC (Unknown)

You're one sick f*ck

Elena (Unknown)

geesh - You're mean! Glad I can't/wouldn't join your fraternity.

Mike (Unknown)

I came up with the ideas after two guys from FAMU were the first ever to be charged with hazing. The sad part is that what they did to their pledges were worse than anything I listed. At least there was no sodomy in mine :/

Kolby K (Unknown)

I hope this is not your viewpoint of fraternities... if so you should broaden your horizons

Jessica (Unknown)

you're a fag. i hope you get run over by a bus.

Mike (Unknown)

Good one. That must be the clever wit that got you into college in the first place.

(Unknown)

where you getting all this shit from?

Dr. K Banerjee (Unknown)

You need urgent psychiatric treatment, not just for your own sake, but also for the society's sake. Had you been in India, I would have taught you a proper lesson.

Dr. K. Banerjee (Unknown)

I feel that you need urgent psychiatric treatment, not just for your own sake, but also for the society's sake. Had you been in India, I would have taught you a proper lesson. Dr. K. Banerjee, www.no2ragging.org

Anonomous (Unknown)

Your a sicko. How would like if someone did that to you?

Kellu (Unknown)

your a sick fuck.
ew someone needs to like beat the fucking shit out of you.

zeke (Unknown)

Man, im in the largest fraternity in the nation and Ive never heard of such shit going on in any house. Why would you want to do such a thing to a man you want to call your brother later?

BU (Unknown)

Epic Comments section.

Shhhhhh (Unknown)

From what I've heard that goes on in Frat houses (This being at ISU), they stand outside the house and beat up random people who walk past on the sidewalk, inside they drink beer, smoke weed, do cocaine, and just do stupid nonsense bullshit all the time, like break shit, steal stuff, turn over things. And I'm sure there was a lot of ass grabbing and dick slapping.

beth (Unknown)

dude. i love all of these ideas. but unfortinately, i am only in high school and can not use these ideas on my freshmen. after reading this, i look forward to college. :]

Mike (Unknown)

Amazing that a higher schooler understands sarcasm so much better than a "doctor" and so many sad college students.

T Bone (Unknown)

Dude your an asshole. your mom must of been a slut and your dad must of beat you and her. You need help mother fucker. Go get run over by a bus fag

Mike (Unknown)

Wow, let me guess--you're in college and still don't know the difference between "you're" and "your". Just how you made it into college I guess I'll never know...unless it was an expletive density essay--you win!

tbone is dumb (Unknown)

Probably went to school in Arkansas.

mistadobalina (Unknown)

After dropping them off in the Everglades like 2 or 3 times, you should try dropping them off somewhere else that LOOKS like the everglades... so they're like, "Fuck, alright well at least we know home is THIS way..." ...and then it's totally not that direction... lolzzzzzz

i'm still trying to get over how huge you look in your picture.

Melvin Blissett (Unknown)

You are a fucking IDIOT!

(Unknown)

Your one sick son of a bitch, you should be shot!

Barry Bonds (Unknown)

i think this is fucking hilarious, and obviously, the majority of you fucks dont realize that he is being sarchastic. Mike, good article, i like it.

JohhnyFrat (Unknown)

These ideas arent even funny.

Berry Bunns (Unknown)

These ideas stimulate the mind to achieve bigger and better ideas that ultimately help all of humankind. With that type of new member eduacting activities, a man will be ready for anything life throws at him. He will be able to pick up the shit of females while looking at gay porn and still being a 100% straight goddamn United States patriot. !!WEEDnBEER!!

yes i may be high and yes i may be a in a frat AND my gpa is higher than urs, wtf is up with that? dumbass

balling frog nutsack (Unknown)

LMAO! hahahaha. thats hilarious.

Valerie (Unknown)

I hope this is sarcasm because if its not i swear i'll fucking kill you!
do you know how sick this is???
yeah I have the ability to think like this but you must really have no life if you take the time each day to blog and be on your "website" do you want millions of kids to die before they can make a difference in the world?
do you know how many frat houses are being idiots and doing what you wrote here??
so i mean if you do this obviously you must feel like shit and only feel good when others are hurt!
- I hate you and hope you die within the nexy few days! :)

N/A (Unknown)

Well if I were one of the sorority sisters, i would throw the feces at you and make you eat it for being such a jackass

John (Unknown)

Those ideas are fucking retarded, i've pledged already, and this shit is just fuckin stupid.

YOU\'RE AN IDIOT (Unknown)

YOU'RE A FUCKING RETARD

Hazetastic (Unknown)

guy above me you are a fucking fag. this is great fraternal legend is clearly only talking about the first couple days of pledgeship. If you can't hang then lick my butthole cuz you cant take some very mild hazing ideas.

Crystal (Unknown)

I hope I never meet you, asshole.

Jake (Unknown)

I think you're hilarious, keep up the good work.

Tom (Unknown)

What is the point of all that? Eating paper, that does not teach them anything. You're freaking stupid. I wish I would put you dumb ass in the cut.

Dick (Unknown)

what a stupid site

likes grundle (Unknown)

this guy obviously didnt get into a fraternity because he seems not to know what hazing is and what kind of hazing actually happens.

he certainly thinks he's funny though. that'll serve him real well

veronica (Unknown)

u are the meanest man i have ever heaarddd read in my life u are so mean get a life u must have been a bully when u were younger.

Nicholas Cage (Unknown)

Hey Mike, I've come here to your website to talk to you. I view myself as a global embassador after national treasure 1 and 2. The secret lies with charlotte...

justforfun (Unknown)

wow i cant believe these people actually think ur being serious. i have very little hope for the human race. i wonder why they are getting so defensive?

Emma (Unknown)

Your a sick asshole I hope you die a thousand deaths and go to hell you mother fucking bitch

Emma (Unknown)

Your a sick asshole I hope you die a thousand deaths and go to hell you mother fucking bitch

Emma (Unknown)

Your a sick asshole I hope you die a thousand deaths and go to hell you mother fucking bitch

meeeeeee (Unknown)

jeez people chill outtttt, its inititation. fucking idiots,

LOL (Unknown)

LOLOLOLOLOLOL

ilovehazing (Unknown)

dont forget to put hot sauce on their balls before you drop them off in the everglades

(Unknown)

HOnestly i would prob end up shooting you.then drag you to the everglades lol rotfl...jk. but na for real i would shoot you

Shala (Unknown)

Yo need to go to hell!

Name: (Unknown)

if you don't find it funny get off the page...

Josh (Unknown)

Your a fatass dumbass

anonon (Unknown)

he's making fun of fraternities-douchebag

anon (Unknown)

wats wrong with u? justfor fun?

vt (Unknown)

your such a fag... get a life and you have a nasty as girlfriend

Anon (Unknown)

u stupid jerk, how would u like that done to u

Leanne (Unknown)

you are a stupid piece of shit. i hope your whole chapter gets shut down :)
ps- look up the matt carrington story...i hope you go to jail too you sick fuck

mdb (Unknown)

hey...they are probably getting so defensive because NEWSFLASH it actually happens and people have died from hazing. i'm sure some people come on this site thinking it's serious and take ideas from it...so yeah the guy who made this page is pretty much mentally challenged, but joking or not, he's clearly messed up in the head and needs to grow up.

ron (Unknown)

If you people are so pissed off at how high on crack this guy sounds then why the fuck are you taking the time to read this and comment on it. It sounds pretty hilarious we haze in high school hockey in Canada and people dont give a shit.

Sexy bitch (Unknown)

Ur sooooo hot

wtf (Unknown)

your so dumb i feel bad for your girl ( if u have one) i bet you pay her to f you

heather (Unknown)

maybe theyre getting defensive cuz THIS ACTUALLY happpens!
do u dumbshits really think this is funny? Do you think these comments are funny? I hope everyone who agrees with this guy meets up in hell and gets fu**** by sexybitch ( who apparently thinks hazing and violating someones rights is hot)

kmarsh (Unknown)

Your a fucking retard

SECnatterdays (Unknown)

Fuck all of you GDIs. Go frat or go home.

fuck you (Unknown)

your a fucking idiot learn to spell

hah (Unknown)

funny shit

Your sickk (Unknown)

Your so fucking tight dude I bet you got fucked by your dad when u were little


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