Carbon Neutral Lifestyle | 01/31/07

Being that Global Warming is the Topic De Année I thought I would dedicate this entry to how I personally live a Carbon-Neutral Lifestyle. It is not a particularly easy thing to do but at least I can sleep easy at night knowing I repay Mother Earth for her sweet bounty.

1) I never EVER clean up Chompy's crap. Ever. That's a big one--when available I leave Abby's to fester as well. Within their dung are tiny microbes that enable life for other plant-based matter and who am I to prevent those oxygen-producing lifeforms from proliferating?

2) I try not to wash my dishes more than every two weeks. Water is a valuable commodity and it would not be fair for me to waste Earth's water on such an unnecessary task unless I had no more dishes to use, which I can tell you takes about two weeks.

3) I do not unstop my toilets when they're full. Since the toilets in my 1870's apartment are not water efficient when I find they are not disposing their collections properly I leave them alone so they come up to 2007 grade in terms of water usage.

4) I make sure Jamie and I never waste precious gas going nice places to eat. Since Chick Fil A is just down the road I force her to go there or to cook. When she cooks I make sure she only cooks abundant, carbon-unfriendly animals such as chicken and beef.

5) I grow my own food. Not all my food of course, but each year I plant several hot chili plants and provided the carbon-unfriendly squirrels do not get their grubby paws on them then I am able to harvest the six or seven peppers at the end of growing season, thereby saving gas since I don't have to go to the store that one time AND I dump the plant remains in the backyard to cover up Chompy and Abby's poop--effectively doubling the amount of carbon-neutral benefit in my back yard.


Jamie (Unknown)

You're such a weirdo...I guess you're my weirdo, so I shouldn't make fun of you too much.

Mike (Unknown)

I'm trying to write fewer Here Was My Day entries since I know people get bored with those.

KBS (Unknown)

We should all aspire to lead such a carbon-friendly lifestyle like yours. P.S. - Have you seen the documentary "Jesus Camp"? You must watch it - it's crazy and you'd love it.

Ricky (Unknown)

I've actually been actively trying to poop and breathe more. Both are for my plant-life brothers. It's the little things, ya know?



contact catania design