The All-American Girl | 02/19/07

Let's travel back in time. Let's go here. How funny that one day short of being two years to the day that I last saw him I'd see him again. It's Segundo--the husband of (according to Alex) Bobbi, the All-American Girl. I saw him at Publix yesterday with his kid. Since the last time we saw each other he was asking for help at Tallahassee Nursery I figured I would stalk him to see what he had in his cart that I could make fun online.

First of all, this is Tallahassee AND you went to FSU for a graduate degree. I should know because you were in my German class. How DARE you wear a University of Florida sweatshirt? Is that where you got your crappy law degree? Second of all, seeing you with your now-at-least-four year old daughter is gross. Dude, you're like 60! Now, for the cart. Do you really need three HUGE boxes of tampons? Are they for your 26 year old wife? Or for your 26 year old daughters? Or both? Way to eat healthy--remember that you're 60 and near death. Fatty snacks aren't going to keep you alive to see your daughter's elementary school graduation. Man, I hate you. I can't believe you're still alive. And still not bald. Man, I hate you.

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