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Tuesday: February 01, 2005 - Zig Zigler and The Liars I know I've said this many, many times before but one day I'm going to be on my deathbed and think back to my wasted days. Today was one but not for the reasons in the past. I had a lot to do today and got a lot done but man, a lot of it was such a waste.

I showed up to the Civic Center along with five thousand other people to hear these motivational speakers. Well, they weren't very motivating. They were so shady it made me sick. One of them was explaining that for a mere $1000 initial investment you could generate $27 million in Microsoft stock alone, assuming you reinvested your earnings. In order to do this, you have to sell and buy on a daily basis but you only learn the system if you go to their $500 class (a $4500 value!) What was so pathetic was how many people there were so desperate to do it that they literally ran to the tables to sign up. In the presentation, you earned a consistent 37% annually on your investments. Now I do not have a degree in economics but I'm pretty sure that is not going to happen every year for over twenty years. Just a shot in the dark. They mentioned Berkshire Hathaway and were just making up statistics. I know this because Jack owns a stake in BKH and I am required to know as much as I humanly can about the company. Like, they didn't even try to cover up the things that were made up. And here are all these desperate people who can't wait to turn $40 into $70,000 with their help. It made me sick.

The other people there were sales people. They were in heaven. Watching how to manipulate people on their last legs. Great. During the "visualize it and GET it!" I walked out and went back to pulling staples after an example where everyone in the audience paired up and took turns trying to suppress their partner's arms in two positions: one in a "sad" position and the other in a "positive" position. Naturally, the person was able to fend off the suppression in the "positive" position. Gee, that might have something to do with the fact that in the "sad" position your arms were conveniently turned so your shoulder had to move outside its natural range of motion. Oh wait, no it was the negative vibes keeping my arms down. After that I had never felt more motivated to sit in my little chair and pull staples out of packets of paper. So I guess the seminar was a success. [Comments: 1]· permalink · · ·

Wednesday: February 02, 2005 - Senior Center Gig We had our rehearsal last night for our gig at the Senior Center. For not having a triple player, we don't sound too bad. Between forgotten power cords and snare drums we didn't get started until 9:30 but we made it through a decent amount of pieces. Our drummer, from Leon HS, informed us that Lion Steel was going to playing a couple of the same pieces. I had tried to call their director, David, but he of course didn't return my calls. That really pisses me off. I don't think it's too much trouble to pick up the phone to have a two minute conversation, which is literally all it would have taken for him to tell me what they were playing. Since of course we have 10x their music I would have picked different pieces but no, now I have to choose between our best slow song being doubled or trying to improvise something else with no rehearsal time. Man, I'm pissed. Admittedly, I do not yield a lot of physical power. I'm probably not going to kick your ass in a fight (though I'm scrappy) but I have enough clout in our common areas to be able to pull a few strings to make your job a hell of a lot more difficult. [Comments: 0]· permalink · · ·

Friday: February 04, 2005 - The Three F's Everyone will be pleased to know our gig at the Senior Center went reasonably well. I have to admit that I am certainly not a fan of the "play it by ear" orderings but it all ended alright in the end. We played well and people seemed to enjoy it. It was weird, though, being the most low-key group in the show. We usually base how good a gig was by the Three F's.

1) Did we make Fifty bucks?

2) Did we get Free Food? (only counts for one F)

3) After the show, did we...well, you know.

Sadly, this gig provided none of the three F's. I guess maybe "fun" could count but anytime you get to play music with your friends that's fun, so it can't really count. Jara, Jamie and I hit up Carrabas afterwards. Jara got a trough of soup. My flash skills have developed moderately after one day. Soon I'll be making cartoons about the dogs. Oh, and the snail's name has changed to Snabby since Jamie wouldn't let me call it Abby. [Comments: 0]· permalink · · ·

Saturday: February 05, 2005 - Spike the Beta Fish After the Tank War in my aquarium that left only five survivors (Chris Rix [the suckfish], Al Capone [the Convict the size of my fist], the maroon zebra and her two babies) I decided it was replenish my tank. A couple days ago we added Snabby the apple snail and yesterday Jamie and I went to Carol's Critters to round off the fish population. What's nice about CC's is that they're honest with you. They won't sell you a sick fish and they'll talk you out of expensive fish if they think they're not compatible with the fish in your tank. Unlike PetCo, who tries to get you to buy their $20 frontosa babies covered in ick, CC's really wants their fish to live long, happy fish-lives with you. Since they were so nice I picked up seven new ones. The only repeat fish was a bumblebee--the first fish in my old tank. All the rest are kinds I've never had before and they're pretty cool. Aside from voracious appetites they seem to fit really well and get along with the older fish. Jamie got a beta fish that she named Spike.

I spent my evening throwing things away. Lots of things. My desk chair (which broke completely in half when I leaned back yesterday morning) joined some old artwork, that ugly brass lamp, the octagon table and about a dozen bags of trash in the dumpster. I loaded up Jamie's trunk with all my old computer stuff to give to Refuge House, who owes me about $2000 now in tax credits. I feel like I've gotten rid of a lot of things but as I look around, my rooms look essentially the same. I realize that I probably started with more crap than just about anyone I know but hopefully it will get down to a manageable level soon. [Comments: 0]· permalink · · ·

Sunday: February 06, 2005 - Happy Birthday Steve! I was all settled in to do another fish update when I remembered it was Steve's birthday. Ah, the big 21. Steve had the same restriction I did--10am (9am for me) brunch with our parents the next morning. Ouch. C'mon. It's our 21st birthday...shouldn't we able to indulge? He's alive--he called me in the afternoon after the requisite eating. So anyway, good job not dying for 21 years.

Matt came over to watch the Superb Owl with Jamie and me. Jamie grilled out and it was good. Not that I could have really cared less about the two teams in it, but I didn't want the hated Eagles to win (since they beat the Bears in the playoffs a few years back [when I still liked the Bears {before they got that idiot and UF grad Rex Grossman}]). After the game Jamie inherited her sister's old laptop and old digital camera. I took a bunch of random pictures of my apartment since a lot of people haven't seen it but that'll have to wait until tomorrow.

My progress in Flash is coming along. (Except for the mute button) [Comments: 0]· permalink · · ·

Tuesday: February 08, 2005 - Snabby the Snail I think Snabby might be dead. I don't know for sure but aside from floating at the top, all the other pieces fit. Well no, now that I think about it, there's one other piece that doesn't fit--the massive amount of green algae covering the back of the tank is starting to disappear in huge quantities. While it's possible that Chris Rix, much like his namesake, might have decided to do well one night out of three hundred, I have to believe that Snabby has been working during the night. S/he hasn't moved all day, though and isn't tight in his/her shell either. That's a sign of death. I guess I'll find out tomorrow.

Today wasn't terribly stressful but I'm feeling tired anyway. Office Depot didn't have the new computer chair I wanted. Not that I would have (or even could have) paid $500 for it but I would like to sit in it before I buy it online for $300. And I know what you're thinking--$300 for a stupid computer chair?! Yes, that seems reasonable to me because I have to sit in the damn thing all day. From at least 7am-9am and again from 7pm-2am that's where my ass resides. Since my old one broke I have to sit in the ugly U-chair from World War II. Not that it's uncomfortable--quite the opposite but it's too low to be even with the screen and that's no good.

It seems like I keep getting more hits from international locations. The trend started about a week ago and now there's this influx from England, France, Turkey and the Ukraine. I knew Dr. Chomp was big over there but not this big. You also might be pleased to know this site is the #5 site on MSN for Yushenko. Thank you, thank you very much. I did see a disturbing hit for "how to kill my obese husband" but whatever. It's not like I have any tips on here. Sorry.

Since I haven't complained about Bank of American for a while, and I'm in a type-y mood, I figure now's a good time. I deposited a check on January 31st for some amount greater than $1000. They told me I'd have it on February 11th. What the hell is that? It takes almost two weeks to process it? It's from a Trust so I don't understand at all--it's not a personal check...and even if it was with the new system in place it shouldn't take more than a couple days tops. I know they have different rules for checks over a grand but come on. Oh, BoA, you're lucky I just ordered new checks from you or else I'd switch over to the Envision Credit Union (and get a free copy of TurboTax).

Finally, Jamie received her 3 month notice from her job. Some old woman wanted more hours so Jamie got the future-axe. That's not very fair is it? Who cares that the woman has been working there since before I was born--she can't send an email or type something in Word. And, more importantly, who wants to see some old hag at the front desk? I want my CPA to have 20-something coeds, not wrinkled up old bags. [Comments: 0]· permalink · · ·

Wednesday: February 09, 2005 - Something's Gotta Give Something's gotta give. Working 12 hour days plus composing and editing on my "free" time are killing me. Mark asked me when the last time I had 72 hours straight free and it was July 2004. I really am doing my best to stay positive--not that you'll be able to glean it from this entry.

I suspect the City will be making me a full-time job offer within 30 days. I would have to quit my other job, of course, to take this. On top of this, I'm sure it would be a pay cut and a big one. At the same time, though, I would know what I would be doing day to day. My schedule would be the same day in and day out and there's something to be said for that. On the other hand, in my current freelance position I make a decent amount of money essentially to learn. AND I learn with mostly-flex hours. The problem is that the job becomes more aggravating every day. I try to establish a routine and it's immediately broken. The things I worked on today will be completely worthless on Friday. What makes it worse is that I then have to justify my researching now-worthless projects even though when I was doing them they were the only way to go. I will agree with my references that I work very well alone and unattended. However, that being left alone is still within the greater confines of knowing what I'm supposed to be doing and having some place to do it. I enjoy working from home on my nice computer but every two days I have something new to do. And I do and it's wrong. It's something like: Day 1, research dogs because cats are the worst animal ever. Day 2, research cats because an article from some far-off paper said dogs suck. Day 3, research puppies but not dogs, because we already know dogs suck. Day 4, research pheasants because anything with fur is now worthless. Day 5, defend research from days 1-4 now knowing only animals with beaks have any value. Adding to my current irritation are the problems with etymology. It has become apparent to me that certain terms in the English language have synonyms. Surprise! I'm pissed that it's 2am again and my day tomorrow starts for the 2nd month in a row in four hours.

What's the Euro's version of the 'cent'? Is it just the Euro Cent? Or like the Eurette? Euretta? I personally like the Eurette. Speaking of the Euro, my estimation the dollar would gain strength in the 1st fiscal quarter has been right so far. Now I just have to ensure its slump come April. [Comments: 0]· permalink · · ·

Thursday: February 10, 2005 - All About Brian You should probably read Brian's entry before you continue with this one or this won't make a whole lot of sense.

It's weird to think that I would even know someone in Brian's position. It's not like I hang out in basements in DC or in cramped dorm rooms at MIT trying to choke down my cheers as I watch code compile.

Seriously, though, is there anyone you'd want in a position of power more than Brian? Certainly not me and, sorry everyone else, you have some sort of flaw that I can think of. It might not be a mental deficiency but maybe you complain a lot (knocking myself out of contention) or just enjoy life too much (you need to be singularly focused on doing stuff). Let's face it, Brian's work ethic is legendary. I can't tell you how many stories begin with, "I went to grad school with this guy who..." and end with "can you believe that sh--?" Anyway, we're all proud of you, even though if you weren't so modest we'd want to kill ourselves because we all feel like failures next to you.

Little does the guy from the Department of Defense know that I have my own list of questions?

1) Is it true you can't laugh or smile? Can I try some jokes to see?

2) Can I work there pulling staples out of packets of paper?

3) How long would it take you to kill me?

4) Do people down there ever worry about practical jokes from the company that manufactures the badges--instead of putting Department of Defense putting like something Department of Dorks and no one catching it?

5) Will Brian be allowed to kill people? Aside from not asking these questions, how can I ensure I am never on the list of people he's supposed to kill? [Comments: 0]· permalink · · ·

Friday: February 11, 2005 - Crazy Old Man Jack When I got to work at 9:30am Kelly warned me Jack was in a bad mood and not at all pleased with my off-topic research (not that I was really aware that it was off-topic). When I finally sat down with him, though, he seemed to be nice enough about it and reset my course to where it needed to be. I met with the Agent at 10:32am. He had called at exactly 10:30am to make sure I was coming but my phone had no battery so I didn't find out about this until later. (We decided Chris should work for them: "Heeey, it's me. I thought we agreed on dinner at 7:00pm and it's now 7:03 so I'm not sure if you guys forgot or aren't coming...") It really wasn't as weird as I thought it would be. I admit that I did laugh a few times when I pictured Brian trying to do illicit drugs or trying to be bribed. Afterwards he told me that there are three levels of security: Classified, Secret & Top Secret. He started in a couple sentences describing what each one was before he caught himself and said only "Top Secret is big. World-big." I came home, took an accidental nap then went to job #2. After work I met with Jamie, Jara, Chris and Mike for some Olive Garden. There were these "adults" waiting outside with us singing Biz Markie's "Just a Friend". Wow, grow up already. At least don't to that around your kids. We were fortunate enough to sit at a table close to the mints so Jamie kept swiping them out of the basket. After dinner I came home and edited. And kept editing. The end is in sight, though. Hoorah. Oh, I also bought a new suckfish for the hospital tank (since it's right by the window and algae is everywhere) that Jamie named My Boyfriend. [Comments: 0]· permalink · · ·

Weekend: February 13, 2005 - Total Failure Honestly, I have no recollection what I did on Saturday. None. At all. Oh wait for it...here it comes...

Jamie and I took a bunch of art to Michael's to get framed. While I couldn't get three of the many I brought in done, I did manage to get about ten others, including Dancing Flowers I-IV, which used to reside in my kitchen. Now they're happily adorning my bedroom wall. I spent the night doing more editing on my quickly self-destructing computer.

Sunday: My computer totally self-destructs. Since November IE and some other Microsoft programs weren't working but since I never used Internet Explorer I really didn't care. Today, though, I splurged and bought Norton 2005. Apparently installing it is the trigger for some MVC virus--the cause of the Microsoft failures. I started "fixing" things at 5pm and now, at 1:48am everything is finally fixed. I will be the first to admit that I am not a scholar by any means at fixing problems this severe but at the same time I wonder what people with even less knowledge than me would do. Would they be able to find the options in msconfig once the virus ensured they couldn't go online? The secret to my success was a virus removal program called AVG. Since the virus obviously disabled Norton as the the first thing I had to look elsewhere and AVG really came through for me.

We went to Petsmart this morning after Jamie's dad made us breakfast at his church and I rounded off my fish buying. The idiot salesguy didn't tell me anything about the clown knifefish I wanted. He, you know, might have mentioned that they will grow to 3' regardless of how small a tank you keep them in...and eat even the meanest cichlids. Oh well, mine is still a baby at 3" but apparently they grow about 6" a month until fully grown. So March 13th I'll have to address the problem. He might move into the cichlid tank downstairs provided all the other babies have grown a little (apparently they eat about 10 guppies a day at 18"). Oh well, I'll deal with that later. I also scored a couple rainbow sharks and a striped raphael (why can't they just call them catfish?). [Comments: 0]· permalink · · ·

Monday: February 14, 2005 - Happy Valentine's Day This picture always makes me laugh. I went to my first ever support group tonight. It was for TBI at TMH. I'm glad I went even though it made me feel lazy. I'm in a room full of people that have much harder times doings things than I do yet they do them while I sit on my ever-fattening ass and complain.

Happy V-Day. [Comments: 0]· permalink · · ·

Tuesday: February 15, 2005 - Mark Simmons: Awesome Artist Sorry about yesterday's update.

TBI = Traumatic Brain Injury

TMH = Tallahassee Memorial Hospital

---

The art I purchased from City Hall came today, dropped off by the artist's father. The painting is just as awesome as it was by the elevators at work. I wish I had more money so I could buy more of his stuff. If you click on the picture you can look at his online gallery.

Matt Flynn came over last night and we watched Saturday Night Lights. It's a really good movie--one that makes you kind of sad for your deceased youth. It's scary because the high school in the movie is a real high school. I'll have to read the book though to find out how accurate it was. [Comments: 0]· permalink · · ·

Wednesday: February 16, 2005 - Poker with Bob Why don't they fire more people? Like the moron in ISS at The City who brought our entire network down for almost a week. The story goes something like this: it's 2am and a policeman calls the guy in ISS on the night shift. The policeman is irritated his Yahoo Games aren't loading fast enough from the laptop in squad car. He asks the guy in ISS to disable his firewall so it'll load faster. <<<>>> After disabling the firewall for the entire City, a trojan is discovered, happily infecting the 500 people on our network. <<<>>>It's still there and that idiot still has his job.

Jamie and I went over to Bob's to play some poker last night. We squeezed in two games with me sneaking past Bob in a very fast first game and Jamie caving in to Warren (their new coworker) in the second. I was out on the first hand of the second game. The odds had to have been somewhere in the area of 95-5% in my favor going into the river but Bob got it and ensured my dealing the rest of the night. I did a similar thing to him in the first game though, but not for all the chips. Bob likes to keep things moving which is nice, since some of us have a tendency to poke along. I'm trying to get better and follow his lead but it's tough when $5 of your hard-earned money is on the line.

The NHL cancelled their season yesterday. Had it not been on ESPN at 2:30am I would not have known. Does anyone care? At all? In America? [Comments: 0]· permalink · · ·

Thursday: February 17, 2005 - Tallavirii I got a call this morning saying that the City's network was FUBAR and since I had one of the few computers that managed to avoid the virus that someone more important was going to use my computer so I didn't need to bother coming in. I met with Chris for lunch but otherwise took the afternoon off because I desperately needed to unwind. Back to the grind tomorrow, though. I also scored some domains. Go me. [Comments: 0]· permalink · · ·

Friday: February 18, 2005 - Hanging with Jerry Sorry about the late updates. It's been a busy couple o' days. Jerry invited me to dinner since the repairs on his new house are nearing completion. I'm really excited. He's like Evan Jones but in a ridiculous number of areas.

We got a new guy at work this week. He does a really good job but I need to save my opinion on him personally. He's one of those people that is really, really friendly but goes over the top. Additionally, while we are definitely a blunt little office, he's still managed to inadvertently piss me off a couple times. At least he does his job well. [Comments: 0]· permalink · · ·

Saturday: February 19, 2005 - New Computer Chair I finally got around to getting a new computer chair. I decided against the $350 Hon Pillow-Soft one online and settled for a $100 suede one that was (is) horribly comfortable. I'm surprised Jamie let me get anything suede, let alone encouraged me to get it.

We went to Georgio's last night for our V-Day night since I don't like crowds. It was excellent. I had blackened prime rib and she some weird chicken and mushroom thing. It wasn't as expensive as I thought it would be and everything was great. I even got to ask Georgio himself about the big fish tank with the 12 year old lionfish. Tee hee. GO THERE!

Ricky started the hosting of my sites so I've been working on those a lot instead of writing entries. [Comments: 0]· permalink · · ·

Sunday: February 20, 2005 - Crazy Old Man Jack: Part II Since I have Jamie's digital camera again I figured I'd take a break from my score editing to snap a few more pictures. You can see my new suede throne and man, it is way more comfortable than it looks. I broke it in today with a little nap. What kind of good office chair can't you nap in? That's probably why we don't have them at work.

I went to Tallahassee Nurseries today to get a couple more plants since all the ones in my room have died except for my lemon basil one. I was on my way out when who do I run into? That asshole lawyer-turned-art history-grad student from my German class. He was the one that stole Bobbi (The All-American girl) from Alex so I hated him going in. First off, his name is Segundo. Although I do not have a degree in Spanish, I can't help but wonder if his older sister is named Primera. What kind of family names their kids by the order they were born (Segundo = Second, by the way). Anyway, the reason I hated him in my German class was because we'd have to read paragraphs from the book aloud. If there was a word the author didn't think we'd know, there'd be an asterisk by it. It was something like this:

Hallo. Dieses ist mein Kohl*.

(*Kohl = Cabbage)

So someone in the class would be reading and as soon as they got to a starred word, Segundo would shout it out as if he was so far along in his German studies he already knew that Kohl was cabbage or Steinschloß was stone castle. Of course he pissed everyone off in the class by doing this since obviously we all looked forward to the starred words because we were guaranteed to get at least a couple words out of the paragraph right. One night I was in a particularly bad mood and got called on to read a passage about music, since there were only eight of us in the class and we were all grad students in something other than German our teacher knew all of majors. I was happily reading about Bach when *bam* harpsichord.....*bam* performances....*bam* organ pedals. I couldn't take it anymore. I turned (he sat right next to me) and told him to shut up using no uncertain terms. I informed him that we all hated him and that he was proving nothing to us by reading the words from the bottom. Then, for what seemed like at least 20 minutes (probably more like 20 seconds but still) there was complete and utter silence. I broke the silence by finishing my story about Bach's kids.

Jump ahead a couple of years. So I'm at Tallahassee Nursery carrying my tray full of expensive plants. Since I was on my way to City Hall I was wearing a pair of dress pants and a nice shirt. This guy stops me out of nowhere and asks me all the questions about plants and where plants were and how much sun they get and all this other stuff. He looks very familiar but I can't place him. I inform him that I don't work here and he just kind of grunted that "huh" (like Mark Connor used to do) and walked away. When I made it to the car it hit me--it was Segundo!

I hope you one day read this you old bastard. First off, you're in your 50s and you married a girl that's the same age as your daughter. THEN you have a baby! Sure, you were a rich lawyer wearing your Rolex but you gave it up to become an art historian. Good for you. Thank God the academic process is so long you'll be dead before you ever get a job. I hate you even more for being in your mid-50s with a full head of hair. [Comments: 0]· permalink · · ·

Monday: February 21, 2000 - Nagging Jamie and I went to see our second movie in two years together last night, Hotel Rwanda. It was pretty good and made you feel really terrible for being an American. An especially horrific moment is when they refuse to evacuate all the children from the orphanage yet the Americans on the bus (with room for their purse-dogs) are up at the windows just snapping pictures with their digital cameras.

"I'm not nagging, I'm explaining" -Jamie [Comments: 0]· permalink · · ·

Tuesday: February 22, 2005 - Web Designing I've been working on websites all day and the last thing I want to do right now is talk about my day. Sorry. [Comments: 0]· permalink · · ·

Wednesday: February 23, 2005 - Raphael Despite only getting a couple hours of sleep last night I was able to show off the three sample sites I created with no major problems. They were met with pleased looks but the whole time I was thinking how ugly they were in comparison to what they would look like if I had enough time to prepare things as in the past. Even the old stand-by, the hand-lettered whiteboard made a good case for itself. With all the new web site stuff going on Jerry took my support group research. I feel bad about dumping it off but with only a 30 hour work week (for that job) I just ran out of hours.

I apparently looked like I had been up all night by the time I dragged myself into City Hall. Apparently Ken's replacement, this guy named Raphael, went around the office telling everyone that I suck at prepping files because I taped over staples. What the hell dude, you've been there barely a week and a half. That's not good a good way to make friends, especially after I shared my story about my departing shots at my last temp job--I can really make your job a lot harder, you know. I certainly could appreciate some individual criticism but don't talk about me unless you've got something nice to say. Remember buddy, talk all you want but everyone there knows I get more done in five-six hours a day than you do in eight.

My boss at the City told me if I needed to take some time off to let her know. I admit that I'm really feeling the burnout now. With my duties ending in a little more than a month with the City, I'd really prefer to not take any time off between now and then because I want to make sure we have everything done by April 1st. I'm not sure where this horrible loyalty came from--my emails still Mike C (The Temp) and I have no delusions about having a more important job than pulling out staples. Oh well, they're good people. Well, not the new guy but he'll get his. [Comments: 0]· permalink · · ·

Thursday: February 24, 2005 - City Hall In case you weren't sure what kind facilities a human staple remover gets at City Hall, here's a picture of my office. At least I have an office. It's got a pretty cool map of the city behind the two guest chairs.

You can also see my $15 boom box I bought for my Fulbright application a few years ago. It's pretty terrible but it gets the job done. [Comments: 0]· permalink · · ·

Friday: February 25, 2005 - Presents For Me I bought a mandolin. Go me. [Comments: 0]· permalink · · ·