Happy belated birthday Mark.
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With 46 hits today, I finally reached the 10,000 hit count. I'm sure the count isn't exact--since it didn't start until the middle of January 2004 but at the same time, that probably equals out the number of Mike-hits. I can't believe it--and all of it without the Trippi method. Sorry...inside joke.
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Why does setting up PHP on a local machine have to be such an enormous pain in the ass? Don't get me wrong--it's really convenient to upload things to the server every time I add a semicolon.
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I have to pay my rent today. It's storming. Not wanting to go out in the rain I started reading blogs. Lots of them. Some of them were from people I know, some weren't. Is there anyone left in the country that isn't depressed? According to Jamie and some big-ass manual I suffer from Paranoid Personality Disorder. Personally I think I just notice when things aren't lining up. I think it comes from a childhood full of lying. When you're a childhood liar you get really good at keeping stories straight so you can keep a lot of lie-balls in the air at once. You also get really good at sniffing out your own kind. What sucks is that once you get in that habit of lying it's a hard habit to break. I'm ashamed to admit that it wasn't until the past couple years that I broke the habit completely. I remember having a very frank head-conversation with myself in February of 2003 and the end result was a complete halt to the white lying. I never lied about anything big but the little ones added up. Not in severity--if I said I'd pick up something from the store, didn't, then ran and got it when asked about it--things like that. I think it stemmed from being terrifically unpopular growing up. At a certain point you get desperate for people to like you. For me, it was middle school but it's sad to see people in my rough age bracket (21-32) suffering from it now. What's even sadder is the value that people put on their relationship or a virtual-relationship to price out their personal worth. It's really both sad and pathetic when someone truly believes that someone else will magically make their life better. Like, "oh, if only I had a girlfriend/boyfriend with qualities A, B, C I would be so happy". No you wouldn't. YOU need to develop qualities A, B, C. It kind of goes back to a recurring theme--we live in an age where nothing is our fault. No one is fat because they eat too much. No one has bad kids because they don't take the time to raise them. Well now that the mega-eating, unsupervised kids of my age are grown up they (we) don't realize things are our own fault. "Oh, I'm depressed...it's all my parents fault". I've got news for you: tough shit. You can't go back in time and wear Nike instead of Stride-Rite. Sorry. If you're looking for a relationship where you need someone to be strong FOR you get off your ass and do something for yourself instead. I've got news for you--no one wants to be with someone that they have to pull up. Except maybe abusers. In a relationship, everyone wants to be with someone better than they are--that's how it works. No one wants to settle. So if you're looking for some knight/knightess(?) in shinning armor that will see through your failings in life for the deep down goodness you've lost touch with reality. Shut the hell up and do something about it. Go out and better yourself. Stop making excuses and be responsible for the life you're leading instead of worrying about what other people are thinking (as if they're even wasting their self-centered time thinking about your stupid shit--hah!). If you're depressed suck it up. I don't give a shit how bad you think you have it. There are billions of people on this planet that have it worse. Say: Why am I depressed? Then say: What can I do to fix it? Simplify your damn life. Get rid of all the obligations, people and crap you don't need. Focus on you and stop bitching. No one cares about your excuses. And stop blogging for crying out loud. Does anyone other than Brian keep an online journal that isn't based self-loathing and begging for pity?
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I finally found the body of my clown knifefish in the "safe" tank today.
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I don't think I was in a standing position at any point during the day for more than three or four minutes. The way a Saturday should be. One of my new books on PHP and MySQL came so I cuddled into my suede chair and studied up on all the exciting things you can do with arrays (nothing). Things are popping in and out of text files ok but MySQL still gives me a headache. Not so much the queries but just setting things up. As you can see I finally implemented Brian's comment script.
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I was again reading a lot of blogs today and came across all those W3 HTML/XML/Insert-language-du-jour-here tags people proudly display on their sites. Since my page passes none of them except for the new RSS Feed I decided to make my own so that people will know that my blog is not going to talk about how I want to kill myself or talk about why no one loves me.
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Wow.
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Hoopla is so much fun. Are we nerds for playing games with poorly drawn animations on the box? Maybe. But it's still fun. What's nice about Hoopla is that it's a team game. If you lose, everyone loses. Sure, there's the inter-team squabbling but at least everyone goes home a winner. And for only $16 you can't beat it.
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Today was one of those days. Even though I got a solid seven hours of sleep last night and took a nap this afternoon I'm still tired. The molto-enormo-latte from Starbucks that I just drank didn't help much either and I'm probably going to go to bed despite it only being 11pm. On a normal night I'd stay up for another three hours and work but I'm just so tired. All my current projects are big and I don't really feel like working on any of them.
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I need to convert these pages to php.
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Jamie and I have seen some terrible moves in the past couple years. Tonight we watched the absolute WORST movie: Creepshow. I bought it on Amazon because I saw on Bravo that it was both funny and scary. What they failed to mention was that it was the worst movie of all time.
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Now that I got MySQL working I'm feeling pretty good. This morning Jamie and I went over to her parents' house to help the sixty or so people from her church re-landscape the yard. With so many hands the resodding and replanting went really quickly.
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How is May half-over? I feel like this year just started yet it's almost half-over. I feel like I've been out of school for maybe a summer instead of a year. Last night I was looking at Ph.D schools. All of them want the GRE. I took it before grad school and did really well on the math and analytical. With a verbal score in the high 500's I know I'd have to take it again if I wanted a reasonable chance of being accepted. The problem is that the analytical section is now gone, replaced by (gag) a writing section. It's no secret I'm not a terribly good writer and I would much rather solve problems than write about how to solve problems. Oh well. I'm sure I can get in somewhere.
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Today was a weird day. For most of the afternoon I was hypersensitive to all sound. Every noise, musical or not, was painfully dissonant. The keyboard clicks, the water dripping from the filter in the tank...whatever. It was painful. I blame a Bob Dylan song for starting it but who knows. It faded away after about six hours but it was horrible and I hope it never happens again.
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The question is: Is it the single worst picture of me? Right now, without access to my childhood photos I would have to say yes, yes it is. As if I wasn't making the more horrid expression poor Booty has this look of fear/boredom.
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'Housewives' actor caught smoking pot
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I was going to write a real update for yesterday but all I did was work. Seriously, that's it. Work work work work work. Today Alex took me out dinner to Longhorn. Afterwards I met up with Chris for some coffee. All the rest of the day was filled with...work.
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Chris and Mike came over for Hoopla, as they usually do on Friday nights. While the game is very fun there aren't nearly enough cards to make the game work past about a dozen games. That being the case I took the liberty of making some new cards. I only have about 25 done but once I have another 300 or so I figure I hit the streets and sell them. Well, not sell them but put them online for other nerds to download and use.
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Who was more pissed--everyone who wasn't Liz or this semi-shaved cat?
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I can't believe it's over.
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Whatever happened to the show Whose Line Is It Anyway? Not that I have a wealth of giggly-happy-family memories to think back on, but watching this show was definitely one. Everyone in my family loved this show yet I don't think I've ever watched it with friends--not that it was on a lot but still. What a great show. Not like the crap nowadays. Damn kids and their music.
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I think I've figured out the problem between the corporate world and the creative world. Let's say I was tired of having to make style sheets and flash stuff for the sites I'm making. I'd hire someone to do it for me so I could work on more challenging, or at least different, things. If I go to a play, I'm going to see things I can't do. I can't act. I can't draw. When I bought that painting it wasn't that I didn't have time to do one--it's that I flat out just can't. And that's why the two worlds will never get along. Ta-da.
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It's true, today was a fish frenzy. Since My Boyfriend died a few days ago the algae was starting to become a problem in the office tank I decided to get a new suckfish. To prevent the swarm-to-death problem I had with My Boyfriend I decided to spend a little extra money to get a Chris Rix sized suckfish. My New Boyfriend was about 6" (eek!) so I figured no problem. Wrong! Within the first 15 minutes the convicts had eaten his eyes. If you've never seen something bleed underwater it's pretty gross. He seemed to be doing ok...well, for like another 15 minutes and then they finished him off. That sucks. I suspect he was sick when I got him because he really should have been able to fend off the other fish since he was twice their size.
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Damn! As I was crawling into bed I saw the bloated body of my prized stripped-Raphael resting face up in the basement of the hollow castle. I think he got too fat and stuck in the narrow passageways. Once the other fish saw he was helpless they failed to bring him food and he died. He started to decay and floated right out now though. Poor little guy. Let that be a lesson to me not to buy nocturnal fish--they're too hard to check up on.
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Well it's official. After wasting $15/mo to watch my beloved Cubs there's just no point. Arguably our best pitcher fractured his arm today on a line drive. What they didn't show, since he collapsed into a big white-striped heap, was that the 3rd baseman made a really amazing catch after it knocked out our ace. Anyway, our season is officially over. With the Cardinals already eight games ahead of us in first and with a bevy of better teams in line for the lone Wild Card spot, we're done; at least for this year. It's my only hope that the Cubs don't have a massive fire sale--I don't see a good reason for them to do so since it's not like they're bad because the current players are overpaid and suck--just overpaid and hurt. Ah, next year.
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Hey--what are you doing right now? Bowing down before my poker greatness? Well that's very kind of you.
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Jamie went to the White Trash Bash at Alligator Point and I stayed home to rear the dogs. I don't know a lot about the White Trash Bash but I know it involves about a thousand people, all on boats, floating around, drinking beer and most likely farting.
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Nothing ruins a nice day off like lots of rain. Especially when it's raining so hard you have to change into new clothes every time you flip a burger. Chris and Mike came over for Memorial Day and they brought a ton of delicious food with 'em. The grill was out of gas so I had to con the nice girl at Albertson's into letting me exchange a Blue Rhino tank with an American Propane Exchange. I was pretty sneaky.
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Work sucked. Big time. BIG time. At least the Cubs won. And I made some progress on the new flash-only site. Go State. I have nothing to say today--nothing nice anyway and since anyone can read this, well, it'll have to go in the offline version. Sorry.
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