Red Zeppelin
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Saturday: July 01, 2006 - Clashing of the Titans
Happy July! I know the vast majority of readers are skimmers so please don't forget to read the public service message at the bottom of this page regarding
the Fourth of July party at Ricky's house. At work I've been working on a deal with Citi for just over two months
now and it finally semi-fell into place late on Thursday. I was abusing middle school kids in karate when the call came in but I'm glad it's over. Also on Thursday I won
my 10th poker game of the year. About a week ago I put all the kills into a spreadhseet and it looks
like my winning is upon pchris being absent. I'm not sure what's going to happen to poker when the "core" leaves but
hopefully we'll find a way to keep playing. Maybe Ricky will just have to start coming every week. Speaking of Ricky, here's his announcement:
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Sunday: July 02, 2006 - Destin(ation)
jamie, chris, michael and I piled into the speed machine
around 9:15am and headed off to the beautiful beaches of Destin. It was painfully hot but nonetheless a fun day. I tried to buy a suit for my upcoming trip
to Orlando at the Outlet Mall but alas they did not have my size. My size, just so you know, is a 40L. I did manage to spend a little bit of money
elsewhere but on the whole the shopping wasn't as good compared to when Jamie and I went last year for our two year anniversary.
So we're almost caught up on Lost. We've learned that Henry Gale is one of The Others and Sayid dug up his "wife", Hurley is totally crazy (along with his mega-crush Libby), Locke's dad screwed him up even worse than we thought and Sun is pregnant with a baby we do not suspect to be Jin's. We only have six episodes left in the season despite our best rationing. When does the new season start? I'd hate to have a big gap between the last episode we see and the start of the next season. It's going to really suck to have to sit through commercials and not be able to start the next episode when they leave you with a cliffhanger. [Comments: 0]· permalink ·
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Monday: July 03, 2006 - Alexadex is Back
In case you didn't hear the news Alexadex is back for Season 5. This season is supposed to be the
season that ends cheating once and for all but we'll see about that. They added a new Captcha feature to help curb automated buying. Hah! Your script can
still do everything but press the submit button--is that supposed to be that big of a deterrant? I just don't understand why you gave us an API if you
didn't want us to write stuff. That's just me. Which is why I'll be coding this season--I'm not finishing #11 again to people who do.
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Tuesday: July 04, 2006 - Happy Fourth of July!
So jamie and I now officially caught up on Lost. We no longer have to tilt our heads out of wonderment when we hear
conversations about Mr. Eko returning next year or Charlie dating Kate. We're hip. I can't imagine having to watch that show with commercials and not being
able to watch the next one (or six). But we're hooked rest assured. There's a small part of me that's glad it's over--my TV quota has been
mega-extended.
For the 4th we went over to Tami and Ricky's for grilling and festivities. Ricky made some burgers that were deliciou-rs. We were joined by some strangers, Tami's Mom and Brother, tchris, Blogless-Amy, chris, michael, pchris, In-Spirit-elena and countless others.
In other news I did a lot of laundry and inherited Chris' dresser, which is already full of undies. [Comments: 0]· permalink ·
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Week Off: July 13, 2006 - I'm Back
Where to begin...it's been a week and I'm not sure I remember how to blog except I know it involves not using many paragraphs and not saying anything
interesting. I was in Orlando for the last week at a marketing conference where I was somehow selected to speak. There were about 1200 people at the
conference and I would say a good sixth of them saw my high-energy, high-interest lecture on affiliate marketing. There were a couple of awkard pauses where
the mob of 200 people, all of whom essentially get paid to run their big fat mouths for a living, said nothing and looked blankly as though I was talking
about quantam mechanics or Schenkerian theory. Oh well. I got a lot of nice feedback but the makeup of people was such that I think I'd rather go back to
cleaning toilets than go to another one. I did manage to meet a few really talented, smart people (whose heads weren't professionally sutured up their
assholes) including our CJ account rep Brian. I really wanted to tell him he should leave his company and do something that would make him happier; one of
those people that you know would succeed in any profession so you have to wonder what the allure of a certain job is. Unfortunately it was not my place
after only a couple hours so I kept my mouth shut. Of the 1200 people I would have to estimate that about 1100 of them should be put down. I mean that in
the nicest way of course but if you're contributing nothing to your business NOR society what purpose are you serving? Begging, lying and buying others
beers is not really how the world works. Unless of course it is and I just don't get it. I think I do get it though because my company is doing well and I
would like to think that I contribute daily to that succeess. I just wish people would shut up for about 30 seconds before they speak. That's all.
Upon my return I did three things: lose at poker, buy pchris' drumset and take Chompy to the vet. Chompy was given a clean dog-bill of health so I feel like a pretty good Food Guy. And she's dropped a pound since last year. Score! The vet advised I feed her 1/4 less food each day so I think I'll give that a try. I was trying to fatten her up a little bit for thelong, harsh winters
fights with jamie's sisters dog but with him living in Jacksonville Chompy and I are probably safe from his cruel
attacks.
In sadder news, three weeks from now five of my friends will be moved away. Bummer. [Comments: 0]· permalink ·
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Weekend: July 16, 2006 - Weekend
This weekend was highly uneventful except for one thing--we tried to summon the dead. Originally, jamie and I were simply
going to go over to pchris (soon to be Law-Chris) and elena's for some beer and pool. I
should have known that "pool" was slang for "channeling the deceased" as soon as I found out "beer" meant "hard liquor". It all started innocently enough
with P-Chris sharing some true ghost stories. One from his college days at Georgia Southern was particularly creepy. I had only played with a(n?) Ouija
board once--my sophomore year of college. I was playing with two girls but my hands were shaking way too hard to make it accurately spell out "Threesome".
They probably would have been suspicious anyway and made me take my hands off and the board. At that point it would spelled out "RUN" and they would have.
Anyway, in P-Chris' story this ghost is really accurate and is doing all sorts of creepy things including slamming a door and blowing out candles after the
word "scare". Creepy. We figured now, as we all are couch-owning adults, was the perfect time to get a board and try it ourselves. We set off for
Wal-Mart, the only place open at midnight.
We called for reinforcements in the form of chris (what if we channeled a ghost that didn't speak English?) and michael (to keep us safe). They arrived while P-Chris and I were at Wal-Mart. Lo and behold Wal-Mart does not sell Ouija boards. We looked all over. We asked a clerk. Why? Because apparently Ouija boards make Christians nervous and Christians shop at Wal-Mart, Wal-Mart had no choice but to stop carrying such a vile and occultish item. You can still buy guns though so don't worry. P-Chris had made a back-up Ouija board out of a gift box and a shot glass. Upon our arrival home we packed it up, along with a lantern and headed off to SunLand, the old mental hospital.
Michael is strong. P-Chris is strong. Chris is strong. I am not. However, with three strong men (and a puny boy) pushing a shot glass around a gift box you might think if there were spirits hovering around the dilapidated old mental hospital we'd be able to find them easily. No. I'm not sure if it was the fact the shot glass would lodge itself into the fibers of the gift box or if P-Chris was driving them away with channeling techniques such as "Come on you f*cking bitches, talk to us." but that shot glass wasn't moving. Jamie did see a tarp blowing in one of the broken windows that could have been a ghost but if it was it certainly wasn't communicating anything to us except possibly the letter "G". Even Chris, with his advanced coursework and linguistics fellowship, could not come up with an adequate translation to English. Maybe they were trying to spell "ghost" or "get out of here" and were pissed by our shoddy Ouija board. As Elena said, "Only Parker Brothers can channel the dead". We gave up after we heard a siren because it's one thing to trespass when you're 18 and another thing altogether when you're 30. The siren turned out to be an ambulance but being the large, walking vaginas that we are, we decided to call it a night.
I also cleaned my office. [Comments: 0]· permalink ·
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Monday: July 17, 2006 - Food Stuffs
This is why I don't do nice things for people. jamie had been on a human trafficking call for about 16 hours over the past
few days. While work was work for me it wasn't terribly grueling so I decided, out of the generosity of my heart, to bring her dinner. Since it was Monday
night the logical choice was Atlanta Bread Company since they have their chicken and dumpling soup. I threw Chompy in the car and picked up the phone to
call my order in.
Me :"Hi, I'd like a half and half with soup and soup and a second half and half with soup and fruit."
Her: "So you want a half and half with soup--and what do you want as your other half?"
Me: "Not exactly I'd like a half and half with soup and soup...and a second half and half with soup and fruit."
Her: "I'm not sure we can do that. Let me go ask D'Shawnte."
((two minutes later))
Her: "D'Shawnte said we can't do a half and half with two soups".
Me: "Why not?"
Her: "Because D'Shawnte said we can't do it."
Me: "Well, if D'Shawnte said so then I guess I'll just take a half and half with soup and fruit and I'll also take two bowls of soup."
Her: "Ok, I'll see you in ten minutes."
((ten minutes later)) Me: "Hi, I'm here for my carryout order."
Her: "Oooooh, I've got bad news. D'Shawnte said we're out of soup."
Me: "But we just talked on the phone and I ordered three bowls of it..."
Her: "Yeah, I guess we've been out for a while."
Me: "But I drove all the way here for it...why didn't you tell me that on the phone."
Her: "D'Shawnte didn't tell me we were out of soup. Do you still want your fruit?"
Me: "Yeah, I guess so."
Her: "That'll be $3.75."
Me: "But that's the charge for a full cup of fruit...I just wanted a half and half with a fruit."
Her: "But you're not getting a half and half now."
Me: "Yeah, no kidding. Listen, just forget it."
Her: "Wait sir, you made me feel bad. Howabout I let you have the fruit cup and something from the bakery for free."
Me: "Ok. Howabout a shortbread cookie?"
Her: "Ok. Thank you and have a nice night"
((I call Jamie and ask her what she wants from Chick-Fil-A))
((Chick-Fil-A Drive Through))
Me: "Hi, I'd like a value-sized 12 piece number 8 with a root beer, a chicken sandwich with extra pickles and a chocolate shake."
Her: "That's a value-sized 12 piece number 8 with a root beer, a chicken sandwich with extra pickles and a chocolate shake...Anything else for you?
Me: "Nope. That'll do it."
((I pull around))
Her: "Here you are sir."
((I look in the bag))
Me: "Hey, there are no nuggets in the bag."
Her: "Yes there are."
Me: "No, you can see for yourself--everything else is here except the nuggets."
Her (to coworkers): "Hey, did you guys put nuggets in that bag?"
Co-Workers: "Yeah!"
Her: "Your nuggets are in the bag."
Me: "No, they're really not." (as I start taking things out of the bag one by one)
Her: "Sir that's not necessary, here's another box of nuggets."
((I greedily take them and drive away))
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Tuesday: July 18, 2006 - National Poker Game
We will be holding our Winner Take All Poker Championship game this Thursday in place of our usual poker game. The buy-in will be $10 and winner will be
crowned the 2006 Champion. Here is the list of invitees:
Mike
T-Chris
Jamie
P-Chris
Elena
Michael
Kevin
Ricky
Marty
Someone else I can't remember to make an even 10
Feel free to rsvp to xchompy{at}yahoo{dot}com. I'll send an email out later too.
I know no one cares about Alexadex stuff so I won't complain that a double update cost me about $1.5m. Here are some other blogs since I don't have much to write about today: Mark C., Rob and...well, just read theirs. [Comments: 0]· permalink ·
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Friday: July 21, 2006 - And The Winner Is...
We got started a little late because we were waiting for Kevin to finally show up. He sat down we started playing. By the fourth hand jamie was already sick of seeing Ricky win all of the pots and decided to go all-in on three aces. Everyone stood up. Ricky immediately called and flipped over the cards. Full-freaking-house. Jamie was really pissed but Ricky seemed ok with it. Jamie had a couple of chips left (12?) and on the next hand I put her all-in. Jamie called (along with everyone else at the table) but michael sucked out on the river, beating my two pair and knocking out Jamie. 
The next causulty was tchris who tried to double up against Ricky's flush with a straight. Oops. Not a bad idea considering, "Hey, it's a straight" and Ricky had a good 60% of the table's chips. 
Poor Kevin didn't have a good hand all night and was the next to go. 
Out of nowhere marty started going all-in every other hand. Every time it happened it worked out. Marty inadvertantly had knocked loose a ton of chips from Ricky but had also been losing them to Michael. I was whittled down to nothing against the towers of doom, eventually bowed I with a whimper. 
In no time Marty's luck had run out with the constant all-ins and joined the rest of the losers leaving only Ricky and Michael. 
Starting with roughly the same number of chips, Michael just pummeled Ricky until Michael was declared the winner and took our $70. 
Congratulations Mikey.
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Saturday: July 22, 2006 - Surprise Party
Surprise! After taking chris and michael to Carabba's for a Good-Bye Dinner we brought them back to my house for...bam!...a surprise party. jamie and I had cleaned for the majority of the past two days to get the house ready. As soon as Chris said "Wow, it's so clean in here..." people started pouring out from my kitchen like roaches and it was all good. I was totally shocked not to see Matt Flynn but Jenny Flynn! I thought Jenny only left the house for softball games! The usual gang was there: tchris...Blogless Amy...Tami and Ricky...yeah. A good time was had by all (so I hear) and as my reward I have a clean house and got to eat some deliciou(r)s brownies.
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Monday: July 24, 2006 - Bonefish
Last night RD formally said good-bye to chris with the finest dinner I might have had in Tallahassee. I had only been to Bonefish once before, with jamie's family, and it wasn't nearly this good. Last night, though, it was amazing. I'm sure it helped that I had a plate full of filet and garlic mashed potatoes. We stayed there for a couple hours doing math problems in crayon on the paper-like table clothes and finally called it a night around 9pm. christine and I joined the Leavers at Gill's for a couple of drinks. Since we're old we were done in an hour and went home to call it a night. And that's that.
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Tuesday: July 25, 2006 - Cute Puppies
Man, if I didn't see sprouts of muscles starting to bulge from the backs of my arms I'd quit going to kenpo right now. Yesterday 14 year old Luke Skywalker was secretly asked to test for his purple belt on Friday. Neither myself nor christine was asked. I have no problem with other people moving up but I do have problems with HIM moving up. HE SUCKS. He asked me how to do at least three things in class today because HE HAD NEVER DONE THEM. That it bullsh*t, motherf*cker. Yet, he gets to test. I'm not saying I am ready--I'm not but I'm close. A hell of a lot closer than his middle-school ass is. I'm not sure why I feel like I'm being punished in that class--I pracitce. Not as much as I could but it's not like I'll be entering any national sparring competitions until I at least get back from Indiana. No one wants to do anything where they can't see/feel accomplishment and now that it's been two months on a very low belt I'd like to feel that. Even Death-Breath got her purple belt already. Come on! Unless she breathes on an attacker he's not going down.
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Wednesday: July 26, 2006 - Auf Wiedersehen
Last night we got together with chris and michael to watch Project Runway for the last time. The little pudgy girl went home last night which probably came as a surprise to no one. I wanted to see Angela (Angera!) go home since this is the second week in a row she's been on the cho(m)pping block. After last night's episode I'm entirely convinced I could be a fashion designer. I could provide them with the requisite drama when I beat up my castmates for being loud. I think I'd use a lot of velvet because it's soft.
After Project Runway jamie and I watched a Fraiser rerun. Man, it was funny. It was a Halloween episode and all of the little kids think Fraiser eats brains. He ends up in an elevator with one and when the kid finds out he's Brain-Eating Crane he says something like "I don't eat brains! Well, not human brains. Maybe some calf in a bearnise sauce...No, I don't eat brains." I don't know why that was so funny to me but I totally lost it. Anyway. Tomorrow is the last night of Old School Poker so hopefully I'll win POPxplosion II. [Comments: 0]· permalink ·
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Thursday: July 27, 2006 - The End Is Near
Last night we got together with chris and michael to watch Project Runway for the last time. The little pudgy girl went home last night which probably came as a surprise to no one. I wanted to see Angela (Angera!) go home since this is the second week in a row she's been on the cho(m)pping block. After last night's episode I'm entirely convinced I could be a fashion designer. I could provide them with the requisite drama when I beat up my castmates for being loud. I think I'd use a lot of velvet because it's soft.
After Project Runway jamie and I watched a Fraiser rerun. Man, it was funny. It was a Halloween episode and all of the little kids think Fraiser eats brains. He ends up in an elevator with one and when the kid finds out he's Brain-Eating Crane he says something like "I don't eat brains! Well, not human brains. Maybe some calf in a bearnise sauce...No, I don't eat brains." I don't know why that was so funny to me but I totally lost it. Anyway. Tomorrow is the last night of Old School Poker so hopefully I'll win POPxplosion II. [Comments: 0]· permalink ·
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Happy July! I know the vast majority of readers are skimmers so please don't forget to read the public service message at the bottom of this page regarding
the Fourth of July party at Ricky's house. At work I've been working on a deal with Citi for just over two months
now and it finally semi-fell into place late on Thursday. I was abusing middle school kids in karate when the call came in but I'm glad it's over. Also on Thursday I won
my 10th poker game of the year. About a week ago I put all the kills into a spreadhseet and it looks
like my winning is upon pchris being absent. I'm not sure what's going to happen to poker when the "core" leaves but
hopefully we'll find a way to keep playing. Maybe Ricky will just have to start coming every week. Speaking of Ricky, here's his announcement:
WE HAVE CATS. They will probably not be roaming free .. but just the same, if you’re allergic, you better take your strongest drug to suppress it .. I will have no sympathy for a sneezing guest .. and I’ll probably mock you all night about it.[Comments: 0]· permalink ·
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Sunday: July 02, 2006 - Destin(ation)
jamie, chris, michael and I piled into the speed machine
around 9:15am and headed off to the beautiful beaches of Destin. It was painfully hot but nonetheless a fun day. I tried to buy a suit for my upcoming trip
to Orlando at the Outlet Mall but alas they did not have my size. My size, just so you know, is a 40L. I did manage to spend a little bit of money
elsewhere but on the whole the shopping wasn't as good compared to when Jamie and I went last year for our two year anniversary.So we're almost caught up on Lost. We've learned that Henry Gale is one of The Others and Sayid dug up his "wife", Hurley is totally crazy (along with his mega-crush Libby), Locke's dad screwed him up even worse than we thought and Sun is pregnant with a baby we do not suspect to be Jin's. We only have six episodes left in the season despite our best rationing. When does the new season start? I'd hate to have a big gap between the last episode we see and the start of the next season. It's going to really suck to have to sit through commercials and not be able to start the next episode when they leave you with a cliffhanger. [Comments: 0]· permalink ·
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Monday: July 03, 2006 - Alexadex is Back
In case you didn't hear the news Alexadex is back for Season 5. This season is supposed to be the
season that ends cheating once and for all but we'll see about that. They added a new Captcha feature to help curb automated buying. Hah! Your script can
still do everything but press the submit button--is that supposed to be that big of a deterrant? I just don't understand why you gave us an API if you
didn't want us to write stuff. That's just me. Which is why I'll be coding this season--I'm not finishing #11 again to people who do.
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Tuesday: July 04, 2006 - Happy Fourth of July!
So jamie and I now officially caught up on Lost. We no longer have to tilt our heads out of wonderment when we hear
conversations about Mr. Eko returning next year or Charlie dating Kate. We're hip. I can't imagine having to watch that show with commercials and not being
able to watch the next one (or six). But we're hooked rest assured. There's a small part of me that's glad it's over--my TV quota has been
mega-extended.For the 4th we went over to Tami and Ricky's for grilling and festivities. Ricky made some burgers that were deliciou-rs. We were joined by some strangers, Tami's Mom and Brother, tchris, Blogless-Amy, chris, michael, pchris, In-Spirit-elena and countless others.
In other news I did a lot of laundry and inherited Chris' dresser, which is already full of undies. [Comments: 0]· permalink ·
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Week Off: July 13, 2006 - I'm Back
Where to begin...it's been a week and I'm not sure I remember how to blog except I know it involves not using many paragraphs and not saying anything
interesting. I was in Orlando for the last week at a marketing conference where I was somehow selected to speak. There were about 1200 people at the
conference and I would say a good sixth of them saw my high-energy, high-interest lecture on affiliate marketing. There were a couple of awkard pauses where
the mob of 200 people, all of whom essentially get paid to run their big fat mouths for a living, said nothing and looked blankly as though I was talking
about quantam mechanics or Schenkerian theory. Oh well. I got a lot of nice feedback but the makeup of people was such that I think I'd rather go back to
cleaning toilets than go to another one. I did manage to meet a few really talented, smart people (whose heads weren't professionally sutured up their
assholes) including our CJ account rep Brian. I really wanted to tell him he should leave his company and do something that would make him happier; one of
those people that you know would succeed in any profession so you have to wonder what the allure of a certain job is. Unfortunately it was not my place
after only a couple hours so I kept my mouth shut. Of the 1200 people I would have to estimate that about 1100 of them should be put down. I mean that in
the nicest way of course but if you're contributing nothing to your business NOR society what purpose are you serving? Begging, lying and buying others
beers is not really how the world works. Unless of course it is and I just don't get it. I think I do get it though because my company is doing well and I
would like to think that I contribute daily to that succeess. I just wish people would shut up for about 30 seconds before they speak. That's all.Upon my return I did three things: lose at poker, buy pchris' drumset and take Chompy to the vet. Chompy was given a clean dog-bill of health so I feel like a pretty good Food Guy. And she's dropped a pound since last year. Score! The vet advised I feed her 1/4 less food each day so I think I'll give that a try. I was trying to fatten her up a little bit for the
In sadder news, three weeks from now five of my friends will be moved away. Bummer. [Comments: 0]· permalink ·
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Weekend: July 16, 2006 - Weekend
This weekend was highly uneventful except for one thing--we tried to summon the dead. Originally, jamie and I were simply
going to go over to pchris (soon to be Law-Chris) and elena's for some beer and pool. I
should have known that "pool" was slang for "channeling the deceased" as soon as I found out "beer" meant "hard liquor". It all started innocently enough
with P-Chris sharing some true ghost stories. One from his college days at Georgia Southern was particularly creepy. I had only played with a(n?) Ouija
board once--my sophomore year of college. I was playing with two girls but my hands were shaking way too hard to make it accurately spell out "Threesome".
They probably would have been suspicious anyway and made me take my hands off and the board. At that point it would spelled out "RUN" and they would have.
Anyway, in P-Chris' story this ghost is really accurate and is doing all sorts of creepy things including slamming a door and blowing out candles after the
word "scare". Creepy. We figured now, as we all are couch-owning adults, was the perfect time to get a board and try it ourselves. We set off for
Wal-Mart, the only place open at midnight.We called for reinforcements in the form of chris (what if we channeled a ghost that didn't speak English?) and michael (to keep us safe). They arrived while P-Chris and I were at Wal-Mart. Lo and behold Wal-Mart does not sell Ouija boards. We looked all over. We asked a clerk. Why? Because apparently Ouija boards make Christians nervous and Christians shop at Wal-Mart, Wal-Mart had no choice but to stop carrying such a vile and occultish item. You can still buy guns though so don't worry. P-Chris had made a back-up Ouija board out of a gift box and a shot glass. Upon our arrival home we packed it up, along with a lantern and headed off to SunLand, the old mental hospital.
Michael is strong. P-Chris is strong. Chris is strong. I am not. However, with three strong men (and a puny boy) pushing a shot glass around a gift box you might think if there were spirits hovering around the dilapidated old mental hospital we'd be able to find them easily. No. I'm not sure if it was the fact the shot glass would lodge itself into the fibers of the gift box or if P-Chris was driving them away with channeling techniques such as "Come on you f*cking bitches, talk to us." but that shot glass wasn't moving. Jamie did see a tarp blowing in one of the broken windows that could have been a ghost but if it was it certainly wasn't communicating anything to us except possibly the letter "G". Even Chris, with his advanced coursework and linguistics fellowship, could not come up with an adequate translation to English. Maybe they were trying to spell "ghost" or "get out of here" and were pissed by our shoddy Ouija board. As Elena said, "Only Parker Brothers can channel the dead". We gave up after we heard a siren because it's one thing to trespass when you're 18 and another thing altogether when you're 30. The siren turned out to be an ambulance but being the large, walking vaginas that we are, we decided to call it a night.
I also cleaned my office. [Comments: 0]· permalink ·
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Monday: July 17, 2006 - Food Stuffs
This is why I don't do nice things for people. jamie had been on a human trafficking call for about 16 hours over the past
few days. While work was work for me it wasn't terribly grueling so I decided, out of the generosity of my heart, to bring her dinner. Since it was Monday
night the logical choice was Atlanta Bread Company since they have their chicken and dumpling soup. I threw Chompy in the car and picked up the phone to
call my order in.
Me :"Hi, I'd like a half and half with soup and soup and a second half and half with soup and fruit."
Her: "So you want a half and half with soup--and what do you want as your other half?"
Me: "Not exactly I'd like a half and half with soup and soup...and a second half and half with soup and fruit."
Her: "I'm not sure we can do that. Let me go ask D'Shawnte."
((two minutes later))
Her: "D'Shawnte said we can't do a half and half with two soups".
Me: "Why not?"
Her: "Because D'Shawnte said we can't do it."
Me: "Well, if D'Shawnte said so then I guess I'll just take a half and half with soup and fruit and I'll also take two bowls of soup."
Her: "Ok, I'll see you in ten minutes."
((ten minutes later)) Me: "Hi, I'm here for my carryout order."
Her: "Oooooh, I've got bad news. D'Shawnte said we're out of soup."
Me: "But we just talked on the phone and I ordered three bowls of it..."
Her: "Yeah, I guess we've been out for a while."
Me: "But I drove all the way here for it...why didn't you tell me that on the phone."
Her: "D'Shawnte didn't tell me we were out of soup. Do you still want your fruit?"
Me: "Yeah, I guess so."
Her: "That'll be $3.75."
Me: "But that's the charge for a full cup of fruit...I just wanted a half and half with a fruit."
Her: "But you're not getting a half and half now."
Me: "Yeah, no kidding. Listen, just forget it."
Her: "Wait sir, you made me feel bad. Howabout I let you have the fruit cup and something from the bakery for free."
Me: "Ok. Howabout a shortbread cookie?"
Her: "Ok. Thank you and have a nice night"
((I call Jamie and ask her what she wants from Chick-Fil-A))
((Chick-Fil-A Drive Through))
Me: "Hi, I'd like a value-sized 12 piece number 8 with a root beer, a chicken sandwich with extra pickles and a chocolate shake."
Her: "That's a value-sized 12 piece number 8 with a root beer, a chicken sandwich with extra pickles and a chocolate shake...Anything else for you?
Me: "Nope. That'll do it."
((I pull around))
Her: "Here you are sir."
((I look in the bag))
Me: "Hey, there are no nuggets in the bag."
Her: "Yes there are."
Me: "No, you can see for yourself--everything else is here except the nuggets."
Her (to coworkers): "Hey, did you guys put nuggets in that bag?"
Co-Workers: "Yeah!"
Her: "Your nuggets are in the bag."
Me: "No, they're really not." (as I start taking things out of the bag one by one)
Her: "Sir that's not necessary, here's another box of nuggets."
((I greedily take them and drive away))
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Tuesday: July 18, 2006 - National Poker Game
We will be holding our Winner Take All Poker Championship game this Thursday in place of our usual poker game. The buy-in will be $10 and winner will be
crowned the 2006 Champion. Here is the list of invitees:Mike
T-Chris
Jamie
P-Chris
Elena
Michael
Kevin
Ricky
Marty
Someone else I can't remember to make an even 10
Feel free to rsvp to xchompy{at}yahoo{dot}com. I'll send an email out later too.
I know no one cares about Alexadex stuff so I won't complain that a double update cost me about $1.5m. Here are some other blogs since I don't have much to write about today: Mark C., Rob and...well, just read theirs. [Comments: 0]· permalink ·
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Friday: July 21, 2006 - And The Winner Is...
We got started a little late because we were waiting for Kevin to finally show up. He sat down we started playing. By the fourth hand jamie was already sick of seeing Ricky win all of the pots and decided to go all-in on three aces. Everyone stood up. Ricky immediately called and flipped over the cards. Full-freaking-house. Jamie was really pissed but Ricky seemed ok with it. Jamie had a couple of chips left (12?) and on the next hand I put her all-in. Jamie called (along with everyone else at the table) but michael sucked out on the river, beating my two pair and knocking out Jamie. [Comments: 0]· permalink ·
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Saturday: July 22, 2006 - Surprise Party
Surprise! After taking chris and michael to Carabba's for a Good-Bye Dinner we brought them back to my house for...bam!...a surprise party. jamie and I had cleaned for the majority of the past two days to get the house ready. As soon as Chris said "Wow, it's so clean in here..." people started pouring out from my kitchen like roaches and it was all good. I was totally shocked not to see Matt Flynn but Jenny Flynn! I thought Jenny only left the house for softball games! The usual gang was there: tchris...Blogless Amy...Tami and Ricky...yeah. A good time was had by all (so I hear) and as my reward I have a clean house and got to eat some deliciou(r)s brownies.
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Monday: July 24, 2006 - Bonefish
Last night RD formally said good-bye to chris with the finest dinner I might have had in Tallahassee. I had only been to Bonefish once before, with jamie's family, and it wasn't nearly this good. Last night, though, it was amazing. I'm sure it helped that I had a plate full of filet and garlic mashed potatoes. We stayed there for a couple hours doing math problems in crayon on the paper-like table clothes and finally called it a night around 9pm. christine and I joined the Leavers at Gill's for a couple of drinks. Since we're old we were done in an hour and went home to call it a night. And that's that.
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Tuesday: July 25, 2006 - Cute Puppies
Man, if I didn't see sprouts of muscles starting to bulge from the backs of my arms I'd quit going to kenpo right now. Yesterday 14 year old Luke Skywalker was secretly asked to test for his purple belt on Friday. Neither myself nor christine was asked. I have no problem with other people moving up but I do have problems with HIM moving up. HE SUCKS. He asked me how to do at least three things in class today because HE HAD NEVER DONE THEM. That it bullsh*t, motherf*cker. Yet, he gets to test. I'm not saying I am ready--I'm not but I'm close. A hell of a lot closer than his middle-school ass is. I'm not sure why I feel like I'm being punished in that class--I pracitce. Not as much as I could but it's not like I'll be entering any national sparring competitions until I at least get back from Indiana. No one wants to do anything where they can't see/feel accomplishment and now that it's been two months on a very low belt I'd like to feel that. Even Death-Breath got her purple belt already. Come on! Unless she breathes on an attacker he's not going down.
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Wednesday: July 26, 2006 - Auf Wiedersehen
Last night we got together with chris and michael to watch Project Runway for the last time. The little pudgy girl went home last night which probably came as a surprise to no one. I wanted to see Angela (Angera!) go home since this is the second week in a row she's been on the cho(m)pping block. After last night's episode I'm entirely convinced I could be a fashion designer. I could provide them with the requisite drama when I beat up my castmates for being loud. I think I'd use a lot of velvet because it's soft.After Project Runway jamie and I watched a Fraiser rerun. Man, it was funny. It was a Halloween episode and all of the little kids think Fraiser eats brains. He ends up in an elevator with one and when the kid finds out he's Brain-Eating Crane he says something like "I don't eat brains! Well, not human brains. Maybe some calf in a bearnise sauce...No, I don't eat brains." I don't know why that was so funny to me but I totally lost it. Anyway. Tomorrow is the last night of Old School Poker so hopefully I'll win POPxplosion II. [Comments: 0]· permalink ·
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Thursday: July 27, 2006 - The End Is Near
Last night we got together with chris and michael to watch Project Runway for the last time. The little pudgy girl went home last night which probably came as a surprise to no one. I wanted to see Angela (Angera!) go home since this is the second week in a row she's been on the cho(m)pping block. After last night's episode I'm entirely convinced I could be a fashion designer. I could provide them with the requisite drama when I beat up my castmates for being loud. I think I'd use a lot of velvet because it's soft.After Project Runway jamie and I watched a Fraiser rerun. Man, it was funny. It was a Halloween episode and all of the little kids think Fraiser eats brains. He ends up in an elevator with one and when the kid finds out he's Brain-Eating Crane he says something like "I don't eat brains! Well, not human brains. Maybe some calf in a bearnise sauce...No, I don't eat brains." I don't know why that was so funny to me but I totally lost it. Anyway. Tomorrow is the last night of Old School Poker so hopefully I'll win POPxplosion II. [Comments: 0]· permalink ·
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Good Things Take Time...
-6 days until FSU Football (2010)
Random Picture...
This is on the path through the southern Everglades. I imagine the yellow barriers help build up silt so they can widen the road every fifty years or so.
This is on the path through the southern Everglades. I imagine the yellow barriers help build up silt so they can widen the road every fifty years or so.
Time Machine:
09-10-2009
· 09-10-2008
· 09-10-2007
· 09-10-2006
I took the day off blogging but only because I was thinking of you.09-10-2008: It seems like just yesterday I was dreaming about Dr. Spencer and the Corkasaurus. Turns out it's been a whole year. Last night I was talking to Chris Green and he's going to do a guest entry next week to catch everyone up on his life so get ready! Later in the evening I was thinking to myself that it would nice if a bunch of people would write "catch-up" entries so that we could find out all of the exciting things that have been happening since we interacted on a daily basis. Even the people that I've seen/talked to somewhat regularly, I don't really know the full-blown details of what's going on with their lives. Here's where you come in--you too can write an entry to catch everyone up. Send me an email and I'll give you a date from which to start. Then you can post on here in the next few days/weeks. Just think--between 150 and 200 people reading all about your interesting life! And to think I get to live that each and every day.
09-10-2007: Apparently Britney is back after performing at the MTV Music Awards over the weekend. Everyone railed against her out of shape body and poor performance. While I won't comment on performance (I didn't see it, although I'm sure it was a abysmal), she just had two kids. She's not a miracle worker, she can only look so good.
In sadder news, it looks like my mentally-vacating grandmother is headed for an assisted living facility. That sounds really cold but for the past year my dad has dutifully driven over there to attend to her every day and took a sabbatical from work the past six months and she apparently can't even remember that he visits at all. There's been some speculation that since she's lived alone for so long her memory deteriorated into nothing because she never really had to use it; she's at the point now where she can easily ask you the same question six times in ten minutes. It's really sad. I really don't envy the decision my parents have to make at all.09-10-2006: Chompy, what's this? jamie and I scored some tickets from her sister's husband's parents for the Troy game so naturally we went. The game even more horrible in person than it could have been on TV. FSU couldn't hold onto the football to save their lives. De'Cody Fagg was the only trustworthy receiver and there were no, and I mean no, trustworthy rushers. I wish I knew what went on in Lorenzo Booker's head. I bet it's something like, "'Lo, listen" (it should be pointed out that Lorenzo sounds strikingly similar to Alex) "don't dance this time. Just run straight ahead." Then he gets the ball and his feet take over. "Damn it, feet. Stop doing this, we've been over this a zillion times!" And that goes on like that every play.
Their damn band would not shut up. They played under our band the whole time since of course the eight members of the TSU band could not be heard over the Marching Dorks. They played when we had the ball...or Troy had the ball...or there was a timeout. However, the largest trigger to their playing was...our band playing. Which was funny because there were so few of them that you only realized this after FSU's song stopped and the Troy band kept going. Anyway it was horrible. Next week is Clemson and I'm going back solely to beat the shit out of their fan who kept tapping my head last time. I know Jamie doesn't believe it but after eight months of fighting at least twice a week I'm feeling pretty confident I could kick some frat-ass.
In sadder news, it looks like my mentally-vacating grandmother is headed for an assisted living facility. That sounds really cold but for the past year my dad has dutifully driven over there to attend to her every day and took a sabbatical from work the past six months and she apparently can't even remember that he visits at all. There's been some speculation that since she's lived alone for so long her memory deteriorated into nothing because she never really had to use it; she's at the point now where she can easily ask you the same question six times in ten minutes. It's really sad. I really don't envy the decision my parents have to make at all.09-10-2006: Chompy, what's this? jamie and I scored some tickets from her sister's husband's parents for the Troy game so naturally we went. The game even more horrible in person than it could have been on TV. FSU couldn't hold onto the football to save their lives. De'Cody Fagg was the only trustworthy receiver and there were no, and I mean no, trustworthy rushers. I wish I knew what went on in Lorenzo Booker's head. I bet it's something like, "'Lo, listen" (it should be pointed out that Lorenzo sounds strikingly similar to Alex) "don't dance this time. Just run straight ahead." Then he gets the ball and his feet take over. "Damn it, feet. Stop doing this, we've been over this a zillion times!" And that goes on like that every play.
Their damn band would not shut up. They played under our band the whole time since of course the eight members of the TSU band could not be heard over the Marching Dorks. They played when we had the ball...or Troy had the ball...or there was a timeout. However, the largest trigger to their playing was...our band playing. Which was funny because there were so few of them that you only realized this after FSU's song stopped and the Troy band kept going. Anyway it was horrible. Next week is Clemson and I'm going back solely to beat the shit out of their fan who kept tapping my head last time. I know Jamie doesn't believe it but after eight months of fighting at least twice a week I'm feeling pretty confident I could kick some frat-ass.