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Week Off: August 05, 2006 - August Thus Far Man, it's been a long time since I wrote a blog entry. In case you didn't know jamie and I have been out of town for the past week running errands, including a trip to the Midwest for five days. I should probably work backwards since I have a better chance of remembering fresh things.

Yesterday we drove from Florence, KY straight back to Tallahassee. Florence is just across the Ohio border and Jamie drove the whole way. I was not allowed to drive because I am a very slow, curteous driver and there was no time for that.

The day before that, we started in an Old Folks Home, where we had spent the night in Jamie's grandma's apartment on an insanely uncomfortable bed. Her grandmother was away at a rehab clinic and it was cheaper than renting a hotel. Later that day we headed over to her crazy uncle's house where we packed up the sparse belongings of her grandmother that hadn't been stolen by her uncle. But that, friends, is a story to itself. After we packed the truck we trotted over to Zinzinatti to see the Reds play the Braves. We splurged on good seats and the Reds won. More imporantly, no one broke into the truck to steal a bunch of old chairs.

The day before that, we were in Bloomington, IN where we were staying with chris and michael. We (Jamie and I) woke up late and had a leisurely lunch with them at Panera Bread after picking up the new, smaller moving truck. We stopped at Target on the way home and they purchased some storage devices. I took a shower upon our return and then Jamie and I said our final good-byes to our friends. It was very sad and I spent a good 45 minutes crying softly on our way to Ohio. Not like streaming tears--just enough to remind you to be sad. We pulled into Dayton around 6:30 and picked up Jamie's grandma for a gross dinner at Outback. I don't know how people can like that place.

The day before that, we were still in Bloomigton. We finished unloading the handful of things left in the big-ass truck then ordered some pretty-darn-good Chinese food. The cable guy came to ensure we wouldn't miss Project Runway despite being on the road. Chris and I returned the hell-moster known as their moving truck without incident and got what would be our last Starbucks. Chris and Mike took us on a tour of their new campus and we had dinner at a local place called the Runciple Spoon. There were a bunch of hippies on the porch but it turned out to be really good.

The day before that, Jamie, Michael and loaded into the trucks and hit the road around 9am. Our first stop was to Starbucks and Bruggers and I think I was doing fine with the truck until about that point. Once on the road, Mike and Jamie stayed right behind me even though the truck was not being kind. I am ashamed to admit that I drove it as low as 50 on I-65. Mike and Jamie took the lead in Nashville and cut big holes through rush hour traffic for me to squeeze the 16' truck into. Very kind of them. We stopped to have Cracker Barrel for dinner. Eventually, around 2am, we arrived in Bloomington where Chris and their newest friend, Sandy, were waiting to unpack the truck. We emptied the truck almost all the way and then sat outside in the humidless Indiana air and had a beer. Then we went to bed.

The day before that, Chris left for Indiana University. He left around 3:30pm and I took on a new roommate for the evening. We were joined later by marty, Jamie and Nina for some late-night Settlers of Catan. Jamie won the first game and I managed to upset Nina the second. By then it was 2am and we decided we should probably get some sleep since we were going to wake up between 6:30 and 7:00am.

Yeah, so that's been my week(ish). Thanks to Marty and tchris for watching Chompy while I was away. Due to a technical error we mananged to miss the leaving of pchris and elena. Hopefully they're in the middle of a safe journey to Pennsylvannia. With four key friends gone, we now get to dote on Marty alone until he leaves next week. [Comments: 0]· permalink · · ·

Sunday: August 06, 2006 - Hydrogen Peroxide Here's a dog-tip. Don't let your dog eat those little roach traps. If your dog chews one up here is what you need to do. Call your girlfriend and tell her to bring over the hydrogen peroxide from when her dog ate muscle relaxers. Put 2 tablespoons of it in a bowl. Convince your dog to lap it up. Run her around. Wait. Give her more hydrogen peroxide. Run around with her even more. Let her out. Wait for her to puke her ever-loving brains out. Wait longer because you'll think she'll be done but she's not. Clean up vomit. Go to bed. [Comments: 0]· permalink · · ·

Monday: August 07, 2006 - Red Leg Attack In the spirit of brian's post yesterday about the verb uri I thought I could write my own to define how the people around me have could morph into their own verb. Today's picture should go with tomorrow's entry in case you're wondering what that's all about.

Oh, I've deleted a few of these now. I can't do this post without it being really mean. Really, really mean. I didn't intend for it to start off that way but it just kind of happened. If it's any consolation, and I know it's not, even the one I came up with for myself was really mean. I'll have to think about some less offensive ones and do some sort of update later. Sorry. [Comments: 0]· permalink · · ·

Tuesday: August 08, 2006 - Crazy Red Leg Mascot Guy Don't be confused by the graphic--today's image is the same as yesterday's but the entry is different. The Cininnati Reds have this bizarro (and in my most humble opinion downright creepy) mascot. It's this baseball-headed...guy with these weird vacant eyes. It's scary. It's like the clown in your dreams when you were a kid. jamie and I had splurged for good seats at the game and we were in the top of the lowest tier on the third base side. Little did I know that's where he lived. He started moving towards us spraying the hell out of people with Braves uniforms/hats on with his mega-ultra super soaker. I could understand a couple pumps but this psycho was drenching these poor fans. But then, oh then, he started going after random non-Reds-apparel-wearing fans. First it was some guy in a Boston hat--he ripped the hat off and gave the guy's head a good soaking. Then he moved to the Mets fan, where he removed the cap, wiped his mascot-armpits with it, sprayed it full of water and dumped it back on the guy's head. He was about ten rows away when I decided to run.

Like anyone going bald and wearing a hat, having your hat forcible removed is, as certified MSW Jamie B will assert, very similar to being raped. In some states, as it turns out, it is punishable by the same laws that govern sexual assualt. It's not that your going bald is a secret--everyone knows and that's fine. It's a question of how much. That's the secret that all balding men keep. And here's this hairless, bald-headed, zombie-eyed beast coming to spray my remaining eight hairs.

I don't know how Matt and Jamie can root for the Reds. I'm glad the Cubs don't have a mascot. [Comments: 0]· permalink · · ·

Wednesday: August 09, 2006 - Bye Brad It came as a surprise to no one that Bradley was kicked off Project Runway last night. They've gotten really bad about spending too much time during the current episode on the person who wins. They don't even show us the black guy until last week and then *bam* he (rightfully) wins. He's been a bad-ass this whole time but they never talked about it until he won. Bradley was doomed from his birth. He was a real weirdo and reminds me of the kid in karate who pokes birds with sticks then giggles while laughing quietly and rocking himself back and forth. Surely they must have seen some potential in him because there most have been other freaks of nature who applied so it's too bad we didn't see it on the show. Oh well, whatever. [Comments: 0]· permalink · · ·

Thursday: August 10, 2006 - Big News Day First, and most importantly, marty's last day in town will be Friday. Marty will be the fifth and final friend leaving. Most people, including jamie, went to the Farewall Dinner at Mori I did not because I had messed up my wrist falling in karate coupled with a steel drum gig. After the gig though, Jamie and I went over to Marty's to claim his houseplants as well as most of the leftover condiments in his refrigerator. I was able to get a nice balsamic vinagrette as well as four eggs and some margarita mix and a bevy of other things stuffed into a large Prada bag. Marty was also kind enough to scrape a fully grown roach (not a palmetto bug thankfully) from the groove of my trunk with a stick. I'm trying hard to force that image out of my mind as the "last Marty memory". At least he's leaving a man. [Comments: 0]· permalink · · ·

Weekend: August 13, 2006 - Checkmate What did I do this weekend? I'm glad you asked. jamie and I bought a cool little chess set and played about a dozen games. The last few times I played were against Alex and, to put it nicely, he slayed me (with multiple jumps). I finished editing a piece and successfully got it into the mail towards its new buyer. Sometimes it's hard to remember that once upon a time I used to write music. Lots of music. And people would buy it. And play it. Weird. I spent a lot of time looking at grad schools and between that and drinking the last of marty's milk made me anxious to get started getting on. I did not do the brian-style 12 of 12 although I had planned to do it this month. Alas. [Comments: 0]· permalink · · ·

Monday: August 14, 2006 - Lion Steel Last night I received a call from the Leon High School steel band director saying he wanted to play some of my pieces and asked which ones he should buy. I told him buying them wouldn't be necessary since hey, it's a high school and they have a ton of other expenses to worry about. When he told me the budget though I thought to myself "Damn, I think that's more than FSU's annual budget". I really shouldn't be surprised by this since Leon actually does things to raise their own money and FSU does absolutely nothing. Anyway, it's always nice to have pieces played so that made me happy. [Comments: 0]· permalink · · ·

Tuesday: August 15, 2006 - Go Cubs My plan to celebrate a great day at work was to watch the Cubs game and go to sleep. Too bad the Cubs played an 18 inning game last night. Fortunately they won but it was 2am before it ended and today I am a tired dog. I sucked it up in karate last night, mainly because I was so excited about a business deal finally going through at work. I'm nervous that I will not get the formal invitation to test but it's also three classes away so I won't panic until a week from today. And, uh, that's it. [Comments: 0]· permalink · · ·

Thursday: August 17, 2006 - MAGMA! I've you've never been fortunate enough to play my piece MAMGA you're really missing out. I know, I know, not everyone plays the steel drums although I hear John Williams is working on an arrangement for the Boston Pops and I know for sure Andre Previn will be doing an orchestral reduction in the near future as well. Last night I met with David and we went over which pieces he wanted. I made him listen to about three hours worth of music and went away with eight pieces. Not too bad. It saved $360 from his budget so I can sleep easy at night. It's funny when you're listening to something you've written with someone who doesn't know the piece how you feel compelled to explain things. Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah. They don't need to you invented a locrian cadence. It's hard to fight that urge though because, hey, it's a locrian cadence.

Special thanks to BU, the only contributor to yesterday's Hybrid Animal Challenge. You will be pleased to know he was a waldad. Part walrus, part crawdad. A waldad. [Comments: 0]· permalink · · ·

Weekend: August 20, 2006 - R and R This weekend I tackled something fun that I'd nonetheless been putting off--buying new fish for my fishtank. I haven't had a fishtank entry in ages so no complaining. Over the past two years all of my fish have died except for two: Bumblebee (of Transformers fame) and Al Capone. There are also six plecos manning the algae including Chris Rix, the oldest fish in my hosue. Anyway, over the years I'd dumped about three dozen or so other fish in with them and they've all been eaten. Not this time. On the advice of the owner the local fish store I bought only two fish, a big red zebra and a reasonably big...blue one with yellow fins. They were $40 but they've survived the weekend. Hopefully the will live for a long and prosperous year before I sell them back to the fish store when I'm ready to move away. Unless it's reddish-brown and attacks bugs and intruders, if it's a pet it's not coming with me. [Comments: 0]· permalink · · ·

Monday: August 21, 2006 - Get Me Outta Here I'm not sure I believe John Mark Karr killed Jon Benet. Here's a guy in a Thai prison. As I learned at work there is a big difference between jail and prison and prison is not particularly savory. AND that's in the United States. Make it a Thai prison and I bet I would say anything to get out. Anything? Like that I killed Jon Benet? Perhaps. God knows I'm creepy and pedophile-like enough to say it and people would believe me. I'm obsessed with the girl anyway because I've got a thing for 6-8 year old hotties. I'm not saying JMK is guilty or not guilty. I'm just saying he's perfectly creepy to be the killer but at the same time can you trust anyone who wants to get out of a Thai prison?

tchris won our Welcome Back game over poker, knocking me out in head-to-head. Also joining the game was Blogless-Amy, her friend Kristen and jamie. Our karate test is Saturday but last night I either severly sprained or slightly fractured the index finger on my left hand after slamming it in my car door after poker. Ouch. That is some intense pain. Something sharp poked a hole in me and that makes me a little nervous. I can bend it with only moderate pain so I'm hoping it's just sprained. I'm not saying anything about it in karate though because nothing is holding me back from my purple belt and black gi. [Comments: 1]· permalink · · ·

Tuesday: August 22, 2006 - Burning Computer Looks like I'm in the market for a new desktop computer. Mine turns on but suddenly the air fills with the delectable aroma of burning electronics and shuts back off. The hard drives are safe and really that's all that matters to me. The laptop is still fine so that will tide me over in the short term before I can get my grubby little hands on a new desktop once I save up some money in a few months.

I had to work with the preteen rapist again in karate and, as he had always done in the past, he made me look really bad. Normally I would have been just a little pissed but with them asking people to test I was mega-ulta-pissed. He throws these half-assed little punches that unless you're some dwarf hybrid you're going to have to run towards to make sure you make contact with him. We have a height difference of about a foot and I don't think our instructor (who has the TINIEST hands I've ever seen on a grown man) realizes that my decisions are "do the right move and avoid blocking/touching FreakShow at all" or "Hell with the form and move in and do something different". Of course in a fight the answer is "do something different" but this isn't a fight--it's a demonstration of knowledge. christine always gets to work with the purple belt girl, Dixie (yee-haw), because she strategically takes the 2nd spot in our workout. I just hate this kid. I hate him so much. [Comments: 0]· permalink · · ·

Wednesday: August 23, 2006 - Clyde's For lunch christine and I went to lunch at Clyde's because Paradigm was closed. They had a buffet consisting of five things: fried chicken, London broil, mashed potatoes, green beans and salad. Chompy, I was in heaven. I ate a ridiculous amount of the London Broil and mashed potatoes. Probably eight pieces of the beef and an Idaho worth of the potatoes. The best part is they have it every Wedensday. Sign me up!

I took apart my desktop last night. Like really took it apart, not just doing things to like add a new hard drive or throwing in some new RAM. I discovered my chassis fan did not work and the computer was simply overheating. Busted. Now the question is do I replace the whole thing or just get a new fan. [Comments: 0]· permalink · · ·

Thursday: August 24, 2006 - Computer Fan Am I testing? Am I not testing? Who knows. I have to go to the class before the test to find out because I'm on the bubble. Yes, my name is on the testing list but there is a "question mark" (possibly multiple?) by name. The question mark means you get to go but can still be asked to leave before the testing begins. That sucks. What doubly sucks is that last night I kicked ass. Yes, I did the wrong groin-kick once and my placement to my opponant's smelly underarm was off by a few millimeters but come on. I kicked ass. I'm hoping that Saturday's class will go smoothly and I'll be able to given them even more money to get my new, black gi. [Comments: 0]· permalink · · ·

Weekend: August 27, 2006 - Purple Nurple That's right, we did it. After a gruelling 3.5 hour marathon class/test both christine and I both scored two beautiful new purple belts. She did much better than I did but fortunately there were so many people there I didn't have a watchful eye on me the time I forgot to bow before starting my form or when I forgot the most important part of the Tiger Mouth.

I went home and napped while jamie, Matt and Kevin played at the Caribbean Festival. Apparently they were kicked off the stage for sucking so badly. Ouch.

I spent most of the day Sunday at work overhauling one of our big websites. It gets so much traffic we couldn't make changes during the week so I gave up a beautiful day in exchange for Friday off. My computer still doesn't work so after work today I need to go to CompUSA and get the new fan I need. Maybe I'll wear my new belt in there and they will give it to me for free. [Comments: 0]· permalink · · ·

Monday: August 28, 2006 - Dull My first weekday as a purple belt was just as exciting as you probably imagined it to be. I went to work, bought some hurricane supplies (NOT for Ernesto but just to have them), then went to bed. Exciting. No one even tried to kick my ass, probably because I exude the color purple.

There are a lot of new things happening to people I know so I figured I'd just run them down right quick. Chris started IU and was already doing homework before his classes begun. Michael passed all of his extrance exams except for one, way better than I will do upon my return. PChris and Elena are now living semi-comfortably in Pennsylvannia. Elena even wrote a blog entry about it AND suggested we try to do some sort of online poker thing since everyone now lives so far away. Kathy's getting married soon and Jamie and I finally got our invitation. Jamie has the LSAT on the day of the wedding. Mark had an unfortunate encounter on his way to White Castle. Ricky and Tami stopped by last night to drop off my PS2. Tami had a new haircut. I would imagine Marty has started classes at Ithaca and TChris started what will most likely be his last year in Tallahassee. Brian suggested I look into Finale 2007 and it came in the mail yesterday. [Comments: 0]· permalink · · ·

Wednesday: August 30, 2006 - My God Chompy, not again Why did I let Christine talk me into going to karate on Wednesdays?? Wednesdays are the advanced class and we were the two lowest belts there. The workout...wow. I'm not sure how I'm even alive. There were about 20 people in the class (up from the six we usually go with) and everyone but us got make a big circle and learn some new, magical kenpo that apparently is capable of fending of a bear, tiger angry motorist. We stayed in the back with one of the black belts and learned one of our new combinations by ourselves. The individual attention was shocking rare so we were grateful to have a good half hour to do nothing but learn the many steps of Mauling Tiger in tiny pieces. This one goes from really practical to totally stupid in a matter of seconds. If I throw someone on the ground using my forearms and they whack the ground why should I go down their to rake their face when I can just kick their face? Too bad you're not allowed to ask questions.

Jamie had all but forgotten a gig we have Thursday night so she and I will not be playing poker. If you have nothing to do (ha!) and still live in town (ha!) we'll be playing at the Kosta's on Pensacola at 9pm. No one will be there and I think beer is $5 for a refillable pitcher if sort of thing is still important to you. [Comments: 0]· permalink · · ·

Thursday: August 31, 2006 - Kosta's: Tallahassian for nasty. Ah, the last day before a four day weekend. I'm really happy with my job right--due to other people having more on their plates than usual I've gotten the chance to pick up some programming work in place of doing business-y type things and that makes me happy. Looking back it seems like just 18 months ago I truly believed I could code without knowing what an array was and now I'm writing PHP webservices for .NET XML feeds. It's amazing how quickly you can learn things when you have no choice but to learn them.

Last night we played a gig at Kosta's on Pensacola and there were about eight people there. It was too bad because I was shredding. Don't get me wrong, I'm a bad-ass soloist all the time but last night--whew, I was smoking. Pete also came to play congas with us and the young pup just celebrated his 25th birthday. Awww. After three days straight of karate my whole body is hurts but I'm sure I'll find a way to get over it. Last night I had to work with this creepy 40-something who could produce sweat like no other. He also makes sounds that "describe" the move he's about to make. That's damn unnerving. His gi is a very, very stained white one and frankly I'd be more afraid of him if I saw him on the street than just about any thug-looking guy. Not that I'm all high and mighty now (because I've always been high and mighty) but this guy also just got his yellow belt. How am I supposed to work with someone that doesn't know anything about anything? There is only one other purple belt male and he's only in the Wednesday class and I think they want to work with someone of you own size. I just don't think that's very fair. Not that a 15 year who weighs 100 pounds is going to attack me but unless someone is at least as tall as I am, and no one is except the other purple belt guy, it's really hard to practice the "right" way. Whatever. It's my day off so I'm just rambling. Go state! [Comments: 0]· permalink · · ·