Man, it's been a long time since I wrote a blog entry. In case you didn't know jamie and I have been out of town
for the past week running errands, including a trip to the Midwest for five days. I should probably work backwards since I have a better chance of
remembering fresh things.
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Here's a dog-tip. Don't let your dog eat those little roach traps. If your dog chews one up here is what you need to do. Call your girlfriend and tell her to bring over the hydrogen peroxide from when her dog ate muscle relaxers. Put 2 tablespoons of it in a bowl. Convince your dog to lap it up. Run her around. Wait. Give her more hydrogen peroxide. Run around with her even more. Let her out. Wait for her to puke her ever-loving brains out. Wait longer because you'll think she'll be done but she's not. Clean up vomit. Go to bed.
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In the spirit of brian's post yesterday about the verb uri I thought I could write my own to define how the people around me have
could morph into their own verb. Today's picture should go with tomorrow's entry in case you're wondering what that's all about.
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Don't be confused by the graphic--today's image is the same as yesterday's but the entry is different. The Cininnati Reds have this bizarro
(and in my most humble opinion downright creepy) mascot. It's this baseball-headed...guy with these weird vacant eyes. It's scary. It's like
the clown in your dreams when you were a kid. jamie and I had splurged for good seats at the game and we were in
the top of the lowest tier on the third base side. Little did I know that's where he lived. He started moving towards us spraying the hell out
of people with Braves uniforms/hats on with his mega-ultra super soaker. I could understand a couple pumps but this psycho was drenching these poor fans.
But then, oh then, he started going after random non-Reds-apparel-wearing fans. First it was some guy in a Boston hat--he ripped the hat off and gave the
guy's head a good soaking. Then he moved to the Mets fan, where he removed the cap, wiped his mascot-armpits with it, sprayed it full of water and dumped it
back on the guy's head. He was about ten rows away when I decided to run.
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It came as a surprise to no one that Bradley was kicked off Project Runway last night. They've gotten really bad about spending too much time during
the current episode on the person who wins. They don't even show us the black guy until last week and then *bam* he (rightfully) wins. He's been a
bad-ass this whole time but they never talked about it until he won. Bradley was doomed from his birth. He was a real weirdo and reminds me of the kid
in karate who pokes birds with sticks then giggles while laughing quietly and rocking himself back and forth. Surely they must have seen some potential
in him because there most have been other freaks of nature who applied so it's too bad we didn't see it on the show. Oh well, whatever.
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First, and most importantly, marty's last day in town will be Friday. Marty will be the fifth and final
friend leaving. Most people, including jamie, went to the Farewall Dinner at Mori I did not because I had messed up my wrist
falling in karate coupled with a steel drum gig. After the gig though, Jamie and I went over to Marty's to claim his houseplants as well as most of the leftover
condiments in his refrigerator. I was able to get a nice balsamic vinagrette as well as four eggs and some margarita mix and a bevy of other things stuffed into a large
Prada bag. Marty was also kind enough to scrape a fully grown roach (not a palmetto bug thankfully) from the groove of my trunk with a stick. I'm trying hard to force
that image out of my mind as the "last Marty memory". At least he's leaving a man.
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What did I do this weekend? I'm glad you asked. jamie and I bought a cool little chess set and played
about a dozen games. The last few times I played were against Alex and, to put it nicely, he slayed me (with multiple jumps). I finished editing a piece and successfully
got it into the mail towards its new buyer. Sometimes it's hard to remember that once upon a time I used to write music. Lots of music. And people would buy it. And play
it. Weird. I spent a lot of time looking at grad schools and between that and drinking the last of marty's milk made me anxious to get started
getting on. I did not do the brian-style 12 of 12 although I had planned to do it this month. Alas.
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Last night I received a call from the Leon High School steel band director saying he wanted to play some of my pieces and asked which ones he should buy.
I told him buying them wouldn't be necessary since hey, it's a high school and they have a ton of other expenses to worry about. When he told me the budget though I thought
to myself "Damn, I think that's more than FSU's annual budget". I really shouldn't be surprised by this since Leon actually does things to raise their own money and FSU
does absolutely nothing. Anyway, it's always nice to have pieces played so that made me happy.
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My plan to celebrate a great day at work was to watch the Cubs game and go to sleep. Too bad the Cubs played an 18 inning game last night.
Fortunately they won but it was 2am before it ended and today I am a tired dog. I sucked it up in karate last night, mainly because I was
so excited about a business deal finally going through at work. I'm nervous that I will not get the formal invitation to test but it's also
three classes away so I won't panic until a week from today. And, uh, that's it.
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I've you've never been fortunate enough to play my piece MAMGA you're really missing out. I know, I know, not everyone plays the
steel drums although I hear John Williams is working on an arrangement for the Boston Pops and I know for sure Andre Previn will be doing
an orchestral reduction in the near future as well. Last night I met with David and we went over which pieces he wanted. I made him
listen to about three hours worth of music and went away with eight pieces. Not too bad. It saved $360 from his budget so I can sleep
easy at night. It's funny when you're listening to something you've written with someone who doesn't know the piece how you feel compelled
to explain things. Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah. They don't need to you invented a locrian cadence. It's hard to fight that urge though because,
hey, it's a locrian cadence.
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This weekend I tackled something fun that I'd nonetheless been putting off--buying new fish for my fishtank. I haven't had a fishtank entry in ages so no complaining.
Over the past two years all of my fish have died except for two: Bumblebee (of Transformers fame) and Al Capone. There are also six plecos manning the algae including
Chris Rix, the oldest fish in my hosue. Anyway, over the years I'd dumped about three dozen or so other fish in with them and they've all been eaten. Not this time. On
the advice of the owner the local fish store I bought only two fish, a big red zebra and a reasonably big...blue one with yellow fins. They were $40 but they've survived
the weekend. Hopefully the will live for a long and prosperous year before I sell them back to the fish store when I'm ready to move away. Unless it's reddish-brown and
attacks bugs and intruders, if it's a pet it's not coming with me.
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I'm not sure I believe John Mark Karr killed Jon Benet. Here's a guy in a Thai prison. As I learned at work there is a big difference
between jail and prison and prison is not particularly savory. AND that's in the United States. Make it a Thai prison and I bet I would
say anything to get out. Anything? Like that I killed Jon Benet? Perhaps. God knows I'm creepy and pedophile-like enough to say it and
people would believe me. I'm obsessed with the girl anyway because I've got a thing for 6-8 year old hotties. I'm not saying JMK is guilty or
not guilty. I'm just saying he's perfectly creepy to be the killer but at the same time can you trust anyone who wants to get out of a Thai prison?
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Looks like I'm in the market for a new desktop computer. Mine turns on but suddenly the air fills with the delectable aroma of burning electronics and shuts back off.
The hard drives are safe and really that's all that matters to me. The laptop is still fine so that will tide me over in the short term before I can get my grubby little
hands on a new desktop once I save up some money in a few months.
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For lunch christine and I went to lunch at Clyde's because Paradigm was closed. They had a buffet consisting
of five things: fried chicken, London broil, mashed potatoes, green beans and salad. Chompy, I was in heaven. I ate a ridiculous amount
of the London Broil and mashed potatoes. Probably eight pieces of the beef and an Idaho worth of the potatoes. The best part is they have
it every Wedensday. Sign me up!
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Am I testing? Am I not testing? Who knows. I have to go to the class before the test to find out because I'm on the bubble. Yes, my name is on the testing
list but there is a "question mark" (possibly multiple?) by name. The question mark means you get to go but can still be asked to leave before the
testing begins. That sucks. What doubly sucks is that last night I kicked ass. Yes, I did the wrong groin-kick once and my placement to my opponant's smelly underarm
was off by a few millimeters but come on. I kicked ass. I'm hoping that Saturday's class will go smoothly and I'll be able to given them even more money to get my new, black gi.
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That's right, we did it. After a gruelling 3.5 hour marathon class/test both christine and I both scored
two beautiful new purple belts. She did much better than I did but fortunately there were so many people there I didn't have a watchful eye
on me the time I forgot to bow before starting my form or when I forgot the most important part of the Tiger Mouth.
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My first weekday as a purple belt was just as exciting as you probably imagined it to be. I went to work, bought some hurricane supplies
(NOT for Ernesto but just to have them), then went to bed. Exciting. No one even tried to kick my ass, probably because I exude the color purple.
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Why did I let Christine talk me into going to karate on Wednesdays?? Wednesdays are the advanced class and we were the two lowest belts there. The workout...wow. I'm not sure how I'm even alive. There were about 20 people in the class (up from the six we usually go with) and everyone but us got make a big circle and learn some new, magical kenpo that apparently is capable
of fending of a bear, tiger angry motorist. We stayed in the back with one of the black belts and learned one of our new combinations by
ourselves. The individual attention was shocking rare so we were grateful to have a good half hour to do nothing but learn the many steps of Mauling Tiger in tiny pieces. This one goes from really practical to totally stupid in a matter of seconds. If I throw someone on the ground using my forearms and they whack the ground why should I go down their to rake their face when I can just kick their face? Too bad you're not allowed to ask questions.
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Ah, the last day before a four day weekend. I'm really happy with my job right--due to other people having more on their plates than usual I've gotten the chance to pick up some programming work in place of doing business-y type things and that makes me happy. Looking back it seems like just 18 months ago I truly believed I could code without knowing what an array was and now I'm writing PHP webservices for .NET XML feeds. It's amazing how quickly you can learn things when you have no choice but to learn them.
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