Red Zeppelin
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Monday: August 04, 2008 - I've Got Two Rules
And we're back in our nation's capital after a week-long jaunt to Lowell, MA to help Chris move into his new place (where he landed a teaching gig in case you didn't know). He and his new pup Oreo (pictured with big, meaty, Chompy) got to DC a week ago and we hung out here for a few days before leaving Chompy with Jamie and trekking to the great Northeast. His place is really nice and I regret not having taken pictures of it to post although I'd have to believe he will be doing that in the next few days. It was a really easy move (for me anyway) since his stuff was packed really efficiently and with the exception of a couch that didn't want to fit in an elevator (but ultimately did) and a heavy piano, everything was a breeze to haul inside and even the heavy things weren't too unruly.
His dog is TOO CUTE. I love Chompy but she has never really understood affection in a way that's not brutal. Oreo, on the other hand, plops in your lap at every opportunity. She would greet me each morning after Chris would take her out by flying into the bedroom and just slamming herself against me and chewing on my mullet. Too cute!
I could write about the trip for hours but my first concern is reclaiming the top link on Brian's new blog. [Comments: 3]· permalink ·
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Tuesday: August 05, 2008 - 100,000 Hits
While I was in Lowell, the site collected its 100,000 hit. I need to dig up all of the emails with the predictions to see who won. I know it wasn't me or Steve since I remember us both picking my birthday (which is in October so start budgeting now). The hit came on July 31st, the day Chris and I left. I'm not exactly sure of the exact time but it was probably around 8pm.
Since only a handful of you regular readers work in computers let me quickly discuss the difference between a hit, a visitor, a click, and a pageview. A pageview is each time you look at a separate page of a site. For example, if you look at my blog and see there is a comment and click the comment button it takes you to a different page--that's two views. If you leave a comment then you're up to three. That's what this 100,000 is so it's kind of misleading. I personally define a hit as a single session. If your browser is open and you look at my blog six times then it's still one hit but if you close the browser each time then it's six hits. I don't think anything useful is measured in clicks anymore, unless you have Crazy Egg, which is pretty stupid. A visitor (or "unique visitor" in the lingo) is the most accurate of how much traffic your site gets but it's also the most saddening to see because it's the lowest. According to Google, this site gets about 200 uv's a day and between 300 and 500pv's (pageviews).
It's a new season for College Football Pick 'Em. There's one question on everyone's mind and it's "Is Chompy going to go back to back to back?" I'll field that one right now: heck yes. [Comments: 4]· permalink ·
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Wednesday: August 06, 2008 - My Pedestrian Life
In my attempt to experience the popular culture you all speak of so frequently, I've taken to two TV shows. Target had a sale on DVDs last time I was there and was able to pick up the entire series of Arrested Development for about $30. Since everyone I know has talked about how great it is, coupled with the fact that Fox canceled it, I figured it had to be good enough to get. Sure enough, I've made it into the last DVD of the first season and it's getting progressively funnier as it goes. I can see why Fox didn't keep it around--I think the humor is beyond most of America. That's too bad.
It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia does not have that problem. The subtleties of Arrested Development are traded for gratuitous and just retarded humor. It took almost the first full season before they hit their stride but now that I'm midway through the second it's getting pretty funny. The show is very quotable so I'm hoping that will help me enter popular conversation since I don't exactly have a bevy of movies quotes from which to draw. Show me with what you're working. I hate grammar. And grammar hates me. [Comments: 1]· permalink ·
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Thursday: August 07, 2008 - FSU 2008 Schedule
Ok, as the back to back winner of College Football Pick 'Em (and the 2nd place finisher the year before that) I feel as though I can safely write this entry without taking any crap from people. Although it's hard to guess how good a team will be without having seen them play a single game, as of right now these are my FSU picks.
Even though they'll be the Semi-Noles due to mass suspensions the first two games, I think they'll beat both WCU and arch-rival Chattanooga. I'm not saying they'll win handily but I think they'll Troy-win (look terrible the first half and might be losing but then Mickey Andrews near-stroke will inspire them to suck less). FSU 28 / WCU 17 | FSU 45 / UC 24
I think FSU will finally beat hated Wake Forest because WFU absolutely humiliated them last time they played in Tallahassee. 33-0 as I recall from being at the game. I remember Jamie and I leaving early (which we never did) because the game was such a rout. You're not the first team to be shut out at Bobby Bowden field and not want revenge. Sorry Kathy. FSU 24 / WFU 20
FSU will easily beat Colorado in Jacksonville. The Noles won a slopfest last year in Boulder and I think after the big win against Wake Forest, they'll still be feeling good enough to crush the Buffaloes. Sorry Mark C. FSU 25 / UC 13
I think Miami is going to be really good this year and will beat FSU in the non-Orange Bowl. It might be close but their thugs are tougher than our thugs. UM 17 / FSU 14
Although NC State plays FSU well, I think Chuck Amato will use his sway to ensure an FSU victory and possibly get some transfers. FSU 31 / NCSU 12
Since Virginia Tech is playing in Tallahassee and their best player has already been kicked off the team, I think FSU will "upset" the Hokies in a clash of has-beens. Neither team will be able to score against the other's defense but let's face it--VT's colors are absolutely hideous. FSU 15 / VT 9
I forgot that Georgia Tech even fielded a team anymore. Noles roll. FSU 32 / GT 24
Ever since Tommy Bowden's job was no-really-on-the-line Bobby's been letting him win. This year is no exception and even though I might hate Clemson more than Florida, I not blind enough in my fanhood to pick FSU. CU 24 / FSU 14
With all their good players gone, I could reasonably walk-on to the BC team. That's great for FSU. FSU 24 / BC 9
Even though most of us Northeasterners will be at this game, I think FSU gets upset by a surprising Maryland team. I always think FSU will lose to Maryland and they never do but this could be that year. UM 24 / FSU 18
Tim "I am Jesus Christ himself and need to be treated as such" Tebow runs for 300 yards but is unfortunately crippled on the last play of the game on a cheap shot by some third-string linebacker during Florida's romp of FSU. UF 42 / FSU 24 (because Urban "Run Up The Score But Pretends To Be Nicer Than Spurrier When In Reality Is Even More Of A Dick Because He Acts All Nice" Meyer will live up to his name).
FSU will play the University of Illinois in the Champs Sports Bowl and my dad and I will go to the game to root for our respective alma maters. After another disappointing season the frustrated Noles start Christian Ponder who passes for 600 yards and runs for another 400 as the anemic Illini get destroyed. FSU 84 / U of I 3.
It's too bad FSU is so weak because this is a dream schedule. [Comments: 5]· permalink ·
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Monday: August 11, 2008 - Angry Mob dot Org
I live near the Federated Russian Embassy. If you've been to my house, then you've certainly seen it--it's an enormous gated building that bravely stops all the convenient backstreets from running their normal courses. Because of Russia's invasion of Georgia, there have been (rightfully) massive protests outside of it since last Friday. Over the weekend though, they took to the streets in a torchless mob going up and down the streets of Glover Park as though secretly a neighborhood full of Mercedes-driving 30-somethings was responsible for the war. I didn't even think to check the "foreign mobs" (not to be confused with Foreign Mob) crime map before moving here.
Speaking of 30-somethings, I feel like this is the year where most of the people I know turn 30. Being a young pup, I have another year left but it's coming. [Comments: 0]· permalink ·
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Tuesday: August 12, 2008 - Very Belated 12 of 12
Midnight: I'm coming home from a concert at the Capitol Building. It was a perfect night and I didn't even get mugged despite being in the Pac Man!
9:48am: Good morning! Sometimes it's nice to be your own boss.
10am: Trying to load Chompy up in the car I discover a huge bug on the hood. I'm not going anywhere until it goes away.
10:10am: The bug finally left and we're off to get some coffee.
Glover Park/Georgetown/Spring Valley is SO snobby a BMW is like a Corolla in your neighborhood. Porches are like your Civics. To make a statement you need an even cooler car. On the bright side, I know no one will ever break into the Taurus.
10:45am: Ok, I'm pretty sure that's the likeness of the Virgin Mary in my crumpled up brownie wrapper. She might appear more duck-like than you remember but I knew I was due to see Her eventually in some foodstuff.
12:30: It doesn't take an MBA to determine you were banned in Google. Sometimes it sucks being your own boss.
3:30pm: Camouflaged as her cage, it took me a good 20 minutes to find Chompy.
4:00pm: Time for a late lunch at the diner after a nice walk through Georgetown (the part that no one knows about where there is ample parking).
9pm: Dinner time. I think I took a nap between lunch and dinner.
10:30pm: Steve and I have a conference video to discuss getting unbanned in Google. Chris gave me that webcam so I've already got some ideas how I can make some money while the site gets unbanned...
11:45: Late night walk with Chompy (back when she would go on walks). I like Glover Park.
BONUS: The hard drive and enclosure that stopped working. This failure has caused my blog not to be updated for a week. Sorry!
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Monday: August 18, 2008 - My Olympics
I didn't watch any of the Olympics but because I check ESPN ever few minutes I feel like I did. I think it's great that Michael Phelps won eight gold medals but if we break this down a little bit I think it's more good fortune than anything else. He's built for swimming and there just happens to be an Olympic race (or eight) for that. What about the things I'm inherently good at? There's no napping medal. There's no dog-yelling medal. There's no fastest consumption of Chick Fil A medal. I'm just saying that if there happened to be medals awarded for other random activities the rest of us might have a chance. Seriously though, I would put you down in narcolepsy for both the sitting and lying-down events.
What made-up categories could you beat the hated Chinese at?
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Wednesday: August 20, 2008 - Play Fantastic Contraption
Today I present to you the most addictive flash game since I posted about Desktop Defender. Kathy sent me this one and I'll explain it like this: you build little things to shuffle the red piece into the pink goal area. Here are some hints because I somehow looked past pretty important concepts--you can connect things to the main piece, if you're not sure what to do then build a little rolling case for the red piece, blue rods make the "wheels" into "cogs" for when you have to fling stuff. BAM! Now go play Fantastic Contraption now!
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Thursday: August 21, 2008 - Six Reasons Everyone Hates You
You don't realize this, but everyone hates you. The most cruel irony is that, in fact, you don't realize this. It's because you're so self-absorbed that you don't even consider that you are a planet/country/road/house/building/cubicle with another human being yet you do. I've taken the liberty of compiling a list of six things we hate about you so you can read it and maybe, just for one second, realize how much you're pissing us off.
#1: Normal Hours. If you have to build something louder than a jigsaw puzzle it is to be done between the hours of 8am and 10pm. I know you're REAL BUSY but you can wait on building your IKEA wall-shelf thing until the middle of the afternoon on Saturday. I'm a reasonable man, I know you have to get ready to go to your important job. It's for this reason that I will allow you to make normal noise between 6am and midnight. You have your TV on or whatever, that's fine. You cannot, I repeat cannot, do things like operate machinery, yell "I can't believe you f*d him" at your wife, or move furniture in this window. And, on a personal note to my neighbor: "You better believe it."
#2: Let people by you on the road. Listen asshole, we didn't ask you to buy the Land Rover for your dangerous treks to your kids' soccer practice. Contrary to your me-only belief system, if you find yourself in a position where you and another car can't get past each other, YOU SHOULD MOVE. Don't assume that you can "borrow" a slice of the other person's lane because you're driving an Explorer and they're driving a Prius. Also, if you can't parallel park your car DON'T DRIVE IT and block traffic for twenty minutes before deciding you can't fit in a space.
#3: The 10-or-less line is NOT the place for your I'm-a-lawyer bullsh*t. If you have 23 2 liter bottles of 7up that's 23 ITEMS NOT 1. If you have to argue your case for having less than 10 items THEN YOU DO NOT HAVE 10 OR LESS. Even if you're going to be a huge asshole and get in line with your 9 cans of tuna, 9 six-packs of yogurt, 9 bags of kiwis, 9 cases of Sam Adams, 9 power bars, and 9 boxes of bacon AT LEAST have the decency to let the old man carrying ONE SINGLE SLICE OF CAKE go in front of you. THIS IS WHY WE HATE YOU!!!
#4: You are not more important than the 100+ cars behind you. Note on my map the area of Washington DC. There is ONE bridge. Because there is ONE bridge, if traffic gets clogged up, it gets CLOGGED UP hundreds of cars back. Yet, there are never any accidents. Why does the traffic get clogged up? Because YOU ASSHOLES ignore the HUGE SIGNS that show which direction the lane goes and if it turns or not. YOU IGNORE the half-dozen street signs that have that same information. AND WORST OF ALL, you try to cut ahead and then when no one (RIGHTFULLY) lets you back in, you just sit there blocking traffic rather than going a block out of your way. This is why we can't carry guns in our cars in DC. You assholes better hope that law stays on the books because no jury is going to convict someone who shot a merging-line-cheater (probably in a Porsche too).
#5: Look, when I had my own place I never cleaned up my dog sh*t. Ever. In my defense, no one EVER had to go in my backyard but me. However, now that I have to share a yard I always clean it up. And for the most part people are really good about doing it too...except for PARIS-HILTON WANNABES--your little purse dogs takes dumps too--f*cking clean it up, bitch.
#6: Yeah, you're sooo smug and cool. Walking down the street talking on your Blue Tooth. Yeah, you're in MY WAY and then you have the audacity to lip-yell at me? Because YOU'RE not watching where you're going/driving? Just because states mandate that you use a hands-free device doesn't mean you have to wear it ALL THE TIME. Just FYI, you also look crazy. And everyone hates you and it's not because you're that cool. [Comments: 8]· permalink ·
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Weekend: August 24, 2008 - Fay Aftermath
On the bright side, I moved away from Tallahassee before my house would have been under 5' of water from Hurricane Fay x4. Jamie's mom's house took a tree (everyone was ok) and my old place on Lake Ella almost assuredly has more living fish in it than when I resided there. It's weird to think that had I not moved to DC when I did I could be there looting like you're supposed to do in a flood would be displaced somewhere with Chompy (possibly Abby had it played out that way) and likely a Taurus-ful of worldly possessions. Weird.
Hurricanes, for whatever reason, are scared of my dog. No matter how direct a path towards my house they have been, at the last minute they have always veered away from Chompy. With Chompy out of Tallahassee, duh, it was going to get hit. Duh. Duh x 4. If I continue to live in places where hurricanes could hit decades from now I think I'd have to have Chompy cremated to keep me safe. Aww, cremated Chompy. That's sad. [Comments: 9]· permalink ·
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Monday: August 25, 2008 - Obama Sucks
I know I previously wrote that I couldn't vote for Obama because he's a White Sox fan and last night sealed the deal with this comment:
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Tuesday: August 26, 2008 - O hey girl
I think anyone who has to employ any sort of craft in their job gets to experience, from time to time, "the zone". The Zone is a magical place where not only is everything you do brilliant, reflecting upon Zoned material post-Zone will make you say (frequently aloud), "Wow, how did I do that?". And the weirdest part is that you mean it--you couldn't recreate it when you were outside of the Zone. This happens a lot with writing music (although not frequently enough to get into Cornell for a doctorate but whatever). It definitely happens with programming and yesterday I did a week's worth of work in a few hours. This was particularly handy because I try not to work more than a few hours a day anyway so it timed out well. Thanks Zone.
I just made up a good joke for the next time Brian has a joke day on his blog.
Requisite Cubs note: Jamie and I went to Cleveland Park to see part of the Cubs bizarro victory over the Pirates last night.
Now for the big news--I'M GETTING A GUN. More on that tomorrow!!! [Comments: 3]· permalink ·
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Wednesday: August 27, 2008 - Three Years Ago
Three years ago I was in New Orleans with Jamie and we evacuated right before Hurricane Katrina hit. It's kind of weird that they're about to get hit by another one. I personally could give a flying f*ck about New Orleans and the week-long attack on Florida/Georgia by Hurricane Fay is just one of the many reasons why. There wasn't any fanfare or to-do about Fay. It sucked and dropped 10' of standing water into a lot of places in Florida and Georgia but now it's not in the news. Why? Because the victims of Fay (surprise) did what they were supposed to do and already in rebuilding mode. Even though Fay affected waaaaay more people than Katrina there was no looting, there was no nothing.
Katrina has been in the news a lot and I'm so sick of hearing about it. I'm doubly sick of hearing about all the culture that was lost in New Orleans. The city was spent--nothing good has come out of there in fifty years and it was time for it to be put down. Ok, we got jazz and creole seasoning. Super. I hate the ads that are STILL begging for money to help them. It's been three years--how about you guys stop shooting each other in Houston and help yourselves instead? C'mon Gustav! [Comments: 3]· permalink ·
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And we're back in our nation's capital after a week-long jaunt to Lowell, MA to help Chris move into his new place (where he landed a teaching gig in case you didn't know). He and his new pup Oreo (pictured with big, meaty, Chompy) got to DC a week ago and we hung out here for a few days before leaving Chompy with Jamie and trekking to the great Northeast. His place is really nice and I regret not having taken pictures of it to post although I'd have to believe he will be doing that in the next few days. It was a really easy move (for me anyway) since his stuff was packed really efficiently and with the exception of a couch that didn't want to fit in an elevator (but ultimately did) and a heavy piano, everything was a breeze to haul inside and even the heavy things weren't too unruly.
His dog is TOO CUTE. I love Chompy but she has never really understood affection in a way that's not brutal. Oreo, on the other hand, plops in your lap at every opportunity. She would greet me each morning after Chris would take her out by flying into the bedroom and just slamming herself against me and chewing on my mullet. Too cute!
I could write about the trip for hours but my first concern is reclaiming the top link on Brian's new blog. [Comments: 3]· permalink ·
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Tuesday: August 05, 2008 - 100,000 Hits
While I was in Lowell, the site collected its 100,000 hit. I need to dig up all of the emails with the predictions to see who won. I know it wasn't me or Steve since I remember us both picking my birthday (which is in October so start budgeting now). The hit came on July 31st, the day Chris and I left. I'm not exactly sure of the exact time but it was probably around 8pm.
Since only a handful of you regular readers work in computers let me quickly discuss the difference between a hit, a visitor, a click, and a pageview. A pageview is each time you look at a separate page of a site. For example, if you look at my blog and see there is a comment and click the comment button it takes you to a different page--that's two views. If you leave a comment then you're up to three. That's what this 100,000 is so it's kind of misleading. I personally define a hit as a single session. If your browser is open and you look at my blog six times then it's still one hit but if you close the browser each time then it's six hits. I don't think anything useful is measured in clicks anymore, unless you have Crazy Egg, which is pretty stupid. A visitor (or "unique visitor" in the lingo) is the most accurate of how much traffic your site gets but it's also the most saddening to see because it's the lowest. According to Google, this site gets about 200 uv's a day and between 300 and 500pv's (pageviews).
It's a new season for College Football Pick 'Em. There's one question on everyone's mind and it's "Is Chompy going to go back to back to back?" I'll field that one right now: heck yes. [Comments: 4]· permalink ·
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Wednesday: August 06, 2008 - My Pedestrian Life
In my attempt to experience the popular culture you all speak of so frequently, I've taken to two TV shows. Target had a sale on DVDs last time I was there and was able to pick up the entire series of Arrested Development for about $30. Since everyone I know has talked about how great it is, coupled with the fact that Fox canceled it, I figured it had to be good enough to get. Sure enough, I've made it into the last DVD of the first season and it's getting progressively funnier as it goes. I can see why Fox didn't keep it around--I think the humor is beyond most of America. That's too bad.
It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia does not have that problem. The subtleties of Arrested Development are traded for gratuitous and just retarded humor. It took almost the first full season before they hit their stride but now that I'm midway through the second it's getting pretty funny. The show is very quotable so I'm hoping that will help me enter popular conversation since I don't exactly have a bevy of movies quotes from which to draw. Show me with what you're working. I hate grammar. And grammar hates me. [Comments: 1]· permalink ·
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Thursday: August 07, 2008 - FSU 2008 Schedule
Ok, as the back to back winner of College Football Pick 'Em (and the 2nd place finisher the year before that) I feel as though I can safely write this entry without taking any crap from people. Although it's hard to guess how good a team will be without having seen them play a single game, as of right now these are my FSU picks.
Even though they'll be the Semi-Noles due to mass suspensions the first two games, I think they'll beat both WCU and arch-rival Chattanooga. I'm not saying they'll win handily but I think they'll Troy-win (look terrible the first half and might be losing but then Mickey Andrews near-stroke will inspire them to suck less). FSU 28 / WCU 17 | FSU 45 / UC 24
I think FSU will finally beat hated Wake Forest because WFU absolutely humiliated them last time they played in Tallahassee. 33-0 as I recall from being at the game. I remember Jamie and I leaving early (which we never did) because the game was such a rout. You're not the first team to be shut out at Bobby Bowden field and not want revenge. Sorry Kathy. FSU 24 / WFU 20
FSU will easily beat Colorado in Jacksonville. The Noles won a slopfest last year in Boulder and I think after the big win against Wake Forest, they'll still be feeling good enough to crush the Buffaloes. Sorry Mark C. FSU 25 / UC 13
I think Miami is going to be really good this year and will beat FSU in the non-Orange Bowl. It might be close but their thugs are tougher than our thugs. UM 17 / FSU 14
Although NC State plays FSU well, I think Chuck Amato will use his sway to ensure an FSU victory and possibly get some transfers. FSU 31 / NCSU 12
Since Virginia Tech is playing in Tallahassee and their best player has already been kicked off the team, I think FSU will "upset" the Hokies in a clash of has-beens. Neither team will be able to score against the other's defense but let's face it--VT's colors are absolutely hideous. FSU 15 / VT 9
I forgot that Georgia Tech even fielded a team anymore. Noles roll. FSU 32 / GT 24
Ever since Tommy Bowden's job was no-really-on-the-line Bobby's been letting him win. This year is no exception and even though I might hate Clemson more than Florida, I not blind enough in my fanhood to pick FSU. CU 24 / FSU 14
With all their good players gone, I could reasonably walk-on to the BC team. That's great for FSU. FSU 24 / BC 9
Even though most of us Northeasterners will be at this game, I think FSU gets upset by a surprising Maryland team. I always think FSU will lose to Maryland and they never do but this could be that year. UM 24 / FSU 18
Tim "I am Jesus Christ himself and need to be treated as such" Tebow runs for 300 yards but is unfortunately crippled on the last play of the game on a cheap shot by some third-string linebacker during Florida's romp of FSU. UF 42 / FSU 24 (because Urban "Run Up The Score But Pretends To Be Nicer Than Spurrier When In Reality Is Even More Of A Dick Because He Acts All Nice" Meyer will live up to his name).
FSU will play the University of Illinois in the Champs Sports Bowl and my dad and I will go to the game to root for our respective alma maters. After another disappointing season the frustrated Noles start Christian Ponder who passes for 600 yards and runs for another 400 as the anemic Illini get destroyed. FSU 84 / U of I 3.
It's too bad FSU is so weak because this is a dream schedule. [Comments: 5]· permalink ·
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Monday: August 11, 2008 - Angry Mob dot Org
I live near the Federated Russian Embassy. If you've been to my house, then you've certainly seen it--it's an enormous gated building that bravely stops all the convenient backstreets from running their normal courses. Because of Russia's invasion of Georgia, there have been (rightfully) massive protests outside of it since last Friday. Over the weekend though, they took to the streets in a torchless mob going up and down the streets of Glover Park as though secretly a neighborhood full of Mercedes-driving 30-somethings was responsible for the war. I didn't even think to check the "foreign mobs" (not to be confused with Foreign Mob) crime map before moving here.
Speaking of 30-somethings, I feel like this is the year where most of the people I know turn 30. Being a young pup, I have another year left but it's coming. [Comments: 0]· permalink ·
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Tuesday: August 12, 2008 - Very Belated 12 of 12
Midnight: I'm coming home from a concert at the Capitol Building. It was a perfect night and I didn't even get mugged despite being in the Pac Man!
9:48am: Good morning! Sometimes it's nice to be your own boss.
10am: Trying to load Chompy up in the car I discover a huge bug on the hood. I'm not going anywhere until it goes away.
10:10am: The bug finally left and we're off to get some coffee.
Glover Park/Georgetown/Spring Valley is SO snobby a BMW is like a Corolla in your neighborhood. Porches are like your Civics. To make a statement you need an even cooler car. On the bright side, I know no one will ever break into the Taurus.
10:45am: Ok, I'm pretty sure that's the likeness of the Virgin Mary in my crumpled up brownie wrapper. She might appear more duck-like than you remember but I knew I was due to see Her eventually in some foodstuff.
12:30: It doesn't take an MBA to determine you were banned in Google. Sometimes it sucks being your own boss.
3:30pm: Camouflaged as her cage, it took me a good 20 minutes to find Chompy.
4:00pm: Time for a late lunch at the diner after a nice walk through Georgetown (the part that no one knows about where there is ample parking).
9pm: Dinner time. I think I took a nap between lunch and dinner.
10:30pm: Steve and I have a conference video to discuss getting unbanned in Google. Chris gave me that webcam so I've already got some ideas how I can make some money while the site gets unbanned...
11:45: Late night walk with Chompy (back when she would go on walks). I like Glover Park.
BONUS: The hard drive and enclosure that stopped working. This failure has caused my blog not to be updated for a week. Sorry!
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Monday: August 18, 2008 - My Olympics
I didn't watch any of the Olympics but because I check ESPN ever few minutes I feel like I did. I think it's great that Michael Phelps won eight gold medals but if we break this down a little bit I think it's more good fortune than anything else. He's built for swimming and there just happens to be an Olympic race (or eight) for that. What about the things I'm inherently good at? There's no napping medal. There's no dog-yelling medal. There's no fastest consumption of Chick Fil A medal. I'm just saying that if there happened to be medals awarded for other random activities the rest of us might have a chance. Seriously though, I would put you down in narcolepsy for both the sitting and lying-down events.
What made-up categories could you beat the hated Chinese at?
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Wednesday: August 20, 2008 - Play Fantastic Contraption
Today I present to you the most addictive flash game since I posted about Desktop Defender. Kathy sent me this one and I'll explain it like this: you build little things to shuffle the red piece into the pink goal area. Here are some hints because I somehow looked past pretty important concepts--you can connect things to the main piece, if you're not sure what to do then build a little rolling case for the red piece, blue rods make the "wheels" into "cogs" for when you have to fling stuff. BAM! Now go play Fantastic Contraption now!
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Thursday: August 21, 2008 - Six Reasons Everyone Hates You
You don't realize this, but everyone hates you. The most cruel irony is that, in fact, you don't realize this. It's because you're so self-absorbed that you don't even consider that you are a planet/country/road/house/building/cubicle with another human being yet you do. I've taken the liberty of compiling a list of six things we hate about you so you can read it and maybe, just for one second, realize how much you're pissing us off.
#1: Normal Hours. If you have to build something louder than a jigsaw puzzle it is to be done between the hours of 8am and 10pm. I know you're REAL BUSY but you can wait on building your IKEA wall-shelf thing until the middle of the afternoon on Saturday. I'm a reasonable man, I know you have to get ready to go to your important job. It's for this reason that I will allow you to make normal noise between 6am and midnight. You have your TV on or whatever, that's fine. You cannot, I repeat cannot, do things like operate machinery, yell "I can't believe you f*d him" at your wife, or move furniture in this window. And, on a personal note to my neighbor: "You better believe it."
#2: Let people by you on the road. Listen asshole, we didn't ask you to buy the Land Rover for your dangerous treks to your kids' soccer practice. Contrary to your me-only belief system, if you find yourself in a position where you and another car can't get past each other, YOU SHOULD MOVE. Don't assume that you can "borrow" a slice of the other person's lane because you're driving an Explorer and they're driving a Prius. Also, if you can't parallel park your car DON'T DRIVE IT and block traffic for twenty minutes before deciding you can't fit in a space.
#3: The 10-or-less line is NOT the place for your I'm-a-lawyer bullsh*t. If you have 23 2 liter bottles of 7up that's 23 ITEMS NOT 1. If you have to argue your case for having less than 10 items THEN YOU DO NOT HAVE 10 OR LESS. Even if you're going to be a huge asshole and get in line with your 9 cans of tuna, 9 six-packs of yogurt, 9 bags of kiwis, 9 cases of Sam Adams, 9 power bars, and 9 boxes of bacon AT LEAST have the decency to let the old man carrying ONE SINGLE SLICE OF CAKE go in front of you. THIS IS WHY WE HATE YOU!!!
#4: You are not more important than the 100+ cars behind you. Note on my map the area of Washington DC. There is ONE bridge. Because there is ONE bridge, if traffic gets clogged up, it gets CLOGGED UP hundreds of cars back. Yet, there are never any accidents. Why does the traffic get clogged up? Because YOU ASSHOLES ignore the HUGE SIGNS that show which direction the lane goes and if it turns or not. YOU IGNORE the half-dozen street signs that have that same information. AND WORST OF ALL, you try to cut ahead and then when no one (RIGHTFULLY) lets you back in, you just sit there blocking traffic rather than going a block out of your way. This is why we can't carry guns in our cars in DC. You assholes better hope that law stays on the books because no jury is going to convict someone who shot a merging-line-cheater (probably in a Porsche too).
#5: Look, when I had my own place I never cleaned up my dog sh*t. Ever. In my defense, no one EVER had to go in my backyard but me. However, now that I have to share a yard I always clean it up. And for the most part people are really good about doing it too...except for PARIS-HILTON WANNABES--your little purse dogs takes dumps too--f*cking clean it up, bitch.
#6: Yeah, you're sooo smug and cool. Walking down the street talking on your Blue Tooth. Yeah, you're in MY WAY and then you have the audacity to lip-yell at me? Because YOU'RE not watching where you're going/driving? Just because states mandate that you use a hands-free device doesn't mean you have to wear it ALL THE TIME. Just FYI, you also look crazy. And everyone hates you and it's not because you're that cool. [Comments: 8]· permalink ·
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Weekend: August 24, 2008 - Fay Aftermath
On the bright side, I moved away from Tallahassee before my house would have been under 5' of water from Hurricane Fay x4. Jamie's mom's house took a tree (everyone was ok) and my old place on Lake Ella almost assuredly has more living fish in it than when I resided there. It's weird to think that had I not moved to DC when I did I Hurricanes, for whatever reason, are scared of my dog. No matter how direct a path towards my house they have been, at the last minute they have always veered away from Chompy. With Chompy out of Tallahassee, duh, it was going to get hit. Duh. Duh x 4. If I continue to live in places where hurricanes could hit decades from now I think I'd have to have Chompy cremated to keep me safe. Aww, cremated Chompy. That's sad. [Comments: 9]· permalink ·
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Monday: August 25, 2008 - Obama Sucks
I know I previously wrote that I couldn't vote for Obama because he's a White Sox fan and last night sealed the deal with this comment:
"You go to Wrigley Field, you have a beer, beautiful people up there. People aren't watching the game. It's not serious. White Sox, that's baseball."As that ORLY? BIRD says, "Oh really?". Cubs games aren't serious but WHITE SOX games are? How the hell would you (or anyone else) know--there's never been a single fan at a game to witness one so it's all speculation. What I absolutely HATE about Sox fans is that their #1 rule for being a Sox fan ISN'T liking their team--it's hating the Cubs. Cardinals fans (rightfully) hate the Cubs but that's only because they like the Cardinals. White Sox fans would rather the Cubs have a 100-loss season than *their* team have a 100-win season. There's no way I'm voting for him now. I'm sure as hell not voting for McCain though, so I guess this is how Ralph Nader always winds up with his handful of votes. [Comments: 12]· permalink ·
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Tuesday: August 26, 2008 - O hey girl
I think anyone who has to employ any sort of craft in their job gets to experience, from time to time, "the zone". The Zone is a magical place where not only is everything you do brilliant, reflecting upon Zoned material post-Zone will make you say (frequently aloud), "Wow, how did I do that?". And the weirdest part is that you mean it--you couldn't recreate it when you were outside of the Zone. This happens a lot with writing music (although not frequently enough to get into Cornell for a doctorate but whatever). It definitely happens with programming and yesterday I did a week's worth of work in a few hours. This was particularly handy because I try not to work more than a few hours a day anyway so it timed out well. Thanks Zone.
I just made up a good joke for the next time Brian has a joke day on his blog.
Requisite Cubs note: Jamie and I went to Cleveland Park to see part of the Cubs bizarro victory over the Pirates last night.
Now for the big news--I'M GETTING A GUN. More on that tomorrow!!! [Comments: 3]· permalink ·
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Wednesday: August 27, 2008 - Three Years Ago
Three years ago I was in New Orleans with Jamie and we evacuated right before Hurricane Katrina hit. It's kind of weird that they're about to get hit by another one. I personally could give a flying f*ck about New Orleans and the week-long attack on Florida/Georgia by Hurricane Fay is just one of the many reasons why. There wasn't any fanfare or to-do about Fay. It sucked and dropped 10' of standing water into a lot of places in Florida and Georgia but now it's not in the news. Why? Because the victims of Fay (surprise) did what they were supposed to do and already in rebuilding mode. Even though Fay affected waaaaay more people than Katrina there was no looting, there was no nothing.
Katrina has been in the news a lot and I'm so sick of hearing about it. I'm doubly sick of hearing about all the culture that was lost in New Orleans. The city was spent--nothing good has come out of there in fifty years and it was time for it to be put down. Ok, we got jazz and creole seasoning. Super. I hate the ads that are STILL begging for money to help them. It's been three years--how about you guys stop shooting each other in Houston and help yourselves instead? C'mon Gustav! [Comments: 3]· permalink ·
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Good Things Take Time...
-2 days until FSU Football (2010)
Random Picture...
The next day it's gone. The only creepy thing about this one is that I don't have any arms. Oooh!
The next day it's gone. The only creepy thing about this one is that I don't have any arms. Oooh!
Time Machine:
09-07-2009
· 09-07-2008
· 09-07-2007
· 09-07-2006
09-07-2009: I'll start with the good news: my death from the swine flu is no longer imminent. Now, onto the bad news.
WHERE THE HELL WAS FSU'S DEFENSE?! *I* could have been playing cornerback last night. I can easily ignore receivers as the blow past me or trip on my own two feet as a RUNNING BACK shoots past me for a catch in the end zone. Uggggggggh. On the bright side, the offense looked pretty good--at least Christian Ponder and the vaunted offensive line. The running game looked anemic when Jermaine was in there but his backup looked like a punisher. The fact our receivers c(w)ouldn't catch the ball made life rough. Fortson looked like the only guy who actually was willing to take one for the team and try to catch it, although Richard Goodman's catch on the two-point conversion ended with him getting blasted.
Anyway, where was the bloodthirsty FSU defense? Who were these cowards playing constant zone coverage? It doesn't take a PS2 NCAA Football expert very long to realize there's a time and a place for zone but if you want to win you need to MAN UP. Granted, the man coverage, when "utilized", made the secondary look absolutely stupid, with their coverage at least five yards behind the Miami receivers.
Whatever, we'll be good next year.09-07-2008: It looks like my vice-like grip over NCAA Pick 'Em is officially over. After tweaking "the algorithm" I still finished near the bottom of the picks because I clearly overweighed the section dedicated to "do they like to get upset?". The numbers correctly picked the ECU upset of WV but unfortunately they also picked three more upsets and, knowing that no more than three teams ever get upset in a week, I released WV out of a personal affinity towards the school. I also, until the game started, thought USM was in fact Mississippi State which they are clearly not. Oops.
I went out to Virginia to watch the FSU game with Kathy & Co. The bar had a lot of FSU fans but none that were particularly into the game. It didn't help that there was over two hours in combined rain delays. FSU looked good but I think anyone would look good against Western Carolina. They're not East Carolina, that's for sure. Catamounts, for the record, are mountain lions. They are not horses despite containing the word "mount". We'll know for sure how good FSU is when vaunted Chattanooga rolls into town next week. I took the day off blogging but only because I was thinking of you.09-07-2006: Although not as gratifying as some wins in the past, I was able to fend off tchris and jamie in a little three-way poker last night. At different points in the night we all had huge chip leads and somehow blew them. We're all big bettors so it was a lot of fun despite the low number of people.
I really need a new computer. Mine shuts off after about five minutes of use due to overheating and I still have not been able to find the right replacement fan. I'm hoping by the week after my birthday to have enough money to buy the new one from Dell, even though they won't let me get it without the video card. I talked to their retarded sales/tech guy and asked them simply if they could not charge/install a video card. They do not have dual-monitor options and I wasn't ordering any monitors so I didn't need the card. He replied that they could not and I was out of luck. I replied by asking him if the computers were really built by hand like they say in the commercials. He said yes. I then asked if they guy installing it could just "leave out" the video card (I'd be throwing it out the day I got it) and have the person hand-writing my bill leave off the cost of it. He said no. Oh well.
WHERE THE HELL WAS FSU'S DEFENSE?! *I* could have been playing cornerback last night. I can easily ignore receivers as the blow past me or trip on my own two feet as a RUNNING BACK shoots past me for a catch in the end zone. Uggggggggh. On the bright side, the offense looked pretty good--at least Christian Ponder and the vaunted offensive line. The running game looked anemic when Jermaine was in there but his backup looked like a punisher. The fact our receivers c(w)ouldn't catch the ball made life rough. Fortson looked like the only guy who actually was willing to take one for the team and try to catch it, although Richard Goodman's catch on the two-point conversion ended with him getting blasted.
Anyway, where was the bloodthirsty FSU defense? Who were these cowards playing constant zone coverage? It doesn't take a PS2 NCAA Football expert very long to realize there's a time and a place for zone but if you want to win you need to MAN UP. Granted, the man coverage, when "utilized", made the secondary look absolutely stupid, with their coverage at least five yards behind the Miami receivers.
Whatever, we'll be good next year.09-07-2008: It looks like my vice-like grip over NCAA Pick 'Em is officially over. After tweaking "the algorithm" I still finished near the bottom of the picks because I clearly overweighed the section dedicated to "do they like to get upset?". The numbers correctly picked the ECU upset of WV but unfortunately they also picked three more upsets and, knowing that no more than three teams ever get upset in a week, I released WV out of a personal affinity towards the school. I also, until the game started, thought USM was in fact Mississippi State which they are clearly not. Oops.
I went out to Virginia to watch the FSU game with Kathy & Co. The bar had a lot of FSU fans but none that were particularly into the game. It didn't help that there was over two hours in combined rain delays. FSU looked good but I think anyone would look good against Western Carolina. They're not East Carolina, that's for sure. Catamounts, for the record, are mountain lions. They are not horses despite containing the word "mount". We'll know for sure how good FSU is when vaunted Chattanooga rolls into town next week. I took the day off blogging but only because I was thinking of you.09-07-2006: Although not as gratifying as some wins in the past, I was able to fend off tchris and jamie in a little three-way poker last night. At different points in the night we all had huge chip leads and somehow blew them. We're all big bettors so it was a lot of fun despite the low number of people.
I really need a new computer. Mine shuts off after about five minutes of use due to overheating and I still have not been able to find the right replacement fan. I'm hoping by the week after my birthday to have enough money to buy the new one from Dell, even though they won't let me get it without the video card. I talked to their retarded sales/tech guy and asked them simply if they could not charge/install a video card. They do not have dual-monitor options and I wasn't ordering any monitors so I didn't need the card. He replied that they could not and I was out of luck. I replied by asking him if the computers were really built by hand like they say in the commercials. He said yes. I then asked if they guy installing it could just "leave out" the video card (I'd be throwing it out the day I got it) and have the person hand-writing my bill leave off the cost of it. He said no. Oh well.