Red Zeppelin
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Sunday: December 02, 2007 - Back 2 Back
As your 2007 College Pick 'Em (Back to Back) Champion, I would first like to thank Appalachian State because had it not been for you guys upsetting Michigan I would not be here. Secondly, I'd like to thank Hawai'i because they were always good to put 18 points on, especially in weeks where the spread on every other game was between 0 and 3. Finally, I'd like to thank God because with Him there is no way all of these #2 teams lose and as we all know, I earn my Pick 'Em points not by picking the winning team, but having fewer points riding on the games. So what does this victory mean to you? That when in casual conversation and I mention how good/bad a team is you have to listen to me and not talk stupid about how good Ohio State (or any Big Ten) school is. It means when I when I say "West Virginia is totally for real" and then they lose to Pitt at home on national TV you are not allowed to say "I told you so". Special congratulations to Elena, who finished a close second!
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Monday: December 03, 2007 - Political Weigh-In
Originally for this post I was going to take a picture of some dog crap and then photoshop a little name tag on it that read: Hi! My Name Is: Mohammad but then the Sudan freed the school teacher so I was left without an entry.
Speaking of things, that my dogs leave in the backyard, that brings me to politicians. I heard Mit Romney on NPR yesterday and I immediately thought two things: I absolutely hate everything you stand for and thank God you'll never beat Hillary. I officially crossed Guiliani off my list yesterday, which was too bad because he was the front-runner. When he was asked if he believed in "every word" of the bible he made a couple hedging remarks but the fundamental answer was yes and you KNOW he doesn't. This was a non-issue for me before but good God man, stand up for yourself and say no. Mit Romney of course said yes--can I come stone your wives Mit? All of them?
Since I'm not voting for the machinesque Hillary that really only leaves me Obama. Giuliani was the only person running who I actually WANTED to be president so now I'm back to settling back between the people I don't want and who will do the least amount of damage...and I think that's Obama.
In other news, Jamie and I got tickets to the Gaylord Hotels and Yellow Cab Taxi Music City Bowl Sponsored By MasterCard With Special Consideration Of The Generous Contributions of Cingular-Now-AT&T-Now-With-More-Bars. [Comments: 5]· permalink ·
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Tuesday: December 04, 2007 - Guitar Hero
Ok, I broke. I bought Guitar Hero I for myself along with a wireless guitar over the weekend. I am now, officially, no better than a swarm of boy-hungry 13 year old girls. I have to say though, it's pretty darn fun. I figured since I'd played the game last Christmas with Steve and a handful of times with Ricky, I could just jump right in on "Hard" mode. Everything was going fine until I got to Killer Queen which is a song I knew pretty well. It took about a half-dozen tries to "beat" it in and after coasting until the last set I'm not stuck on SRV's Texas Flood. SRV has a special place in my heart since he was really popular amongst my college friends so hearing the songs remind me of really good times.
The biggest problem with the game is you can't hammer-on or pull-off. There are songs I can play handily on the real guitar that I can't on GH simply because it's impossible to individually pluck these long successions of notes. Not even ohn McLaughlin could do some of those.
Tomorrow I will post the winners of the Christmas-List Challenge so stay tuned. [Comments: 2]· permalink ·
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Wednesday: December 05, 2007 - Oh Man!
Yesterday the Cubs finally, and I do mean finally, got rid of Will "Bad" Ohman. Few people match their last name quite so well--it was always a "bad ohman" for the Cubs whenever he came in to pitch. I didn't realize this until yesterday but apparently when he got demoted to AAA Iowa he said it was because he was hurt. This came as a surprise to everyone else, who just assumed he really sucked. Turns out, he just sucked and after becoming a "pariah" in the clubhouse they finally let him go to the Braves along with some Ronny Cedeno Jr. for another minor league pitcher who will do great in AA and then go 1-9 with a 17.40 ERA in 10 games in the majors.
On the bright side, at least we're not the White Sox, who can't seem to sign any player regardless of how much money they try to throw at him. That's a sad situation right there--you just won the World Series a few years ago and now, after getting rid of everyone with any talent, you can't even trade for someone good because you have no one at all to trade for them. On the bright side there's only like eight White Sox fans worldwide so it's not like anyone is going to notice--except for White Sox haters. [Comments: 1]· permalink ·
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Thursday: December 06, 2007 - Giuliani / Crist?
I heard on NPR this morning Giuliani would ask Florida Governor Charlie Crist to be his vice president. If Giuliani gets the Republican nod and does in fact ask Charlie Crist, they would have my vote. Loyal democrat or not, Crist has done a great job in his short time as governor. I like that when he doesn't know an answer he just says "I don't know". He doesn't try to answer some other question or bullsh*t an answer he just says he doesn't know. I'm trying to think of who Obama would have to choose for me to vote for them instead...maybe Robert Plant?
I hope Mit Romney gets hit by a bus, along with anyone would vote for him. If Romney (or Huckabee) were to be the next president I would expatriate. I hate Huckabee but at least he's more honest with us (and himself) about who he is (someone I hate) and because of that I won't wish death upon him. Romney is just...something else. He's a shape-shifting I-am-religious,I-am-not-religious in your classical politician way. He just says what gets him votes and if a Gallup Poll tomorrow determined Americans wanted a sumo-wrestler as president Romney would eat himself into the race. I can't stand him for the same reason I can't stand Hillary--they're both just so power-hungry that they've lost track of being a human being. Neither of them can ever answer anything honestly or give an answer without spinning the question into something unrelated more in line with their "focus".
Bus drivers unite! Hit Romney and his voters! [Comments: 2]· permalink ·
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Weekend: December 09, 2007 - Best Advice in the World
In 28 years of living, I have concluded that there is a single piece of advice that, when followed, can solve any problem and get you through anything. Friends, I'm going to share with you that advice right now: Suck it the f* up. Just suck it up. So you have to work over the weekend instead of being able to sit around and do nothing? Big deal--just suck it up. You're losing by like six touchdowns to Chris in NCAA football--just suck it up. You stubbed your toe while trying to carefully step over your dog and now it really hurts--just suck it up. You think you're the only one with problems? You don't know how good to you have it and how many millions of people would cut off their left arm to be you. Is your life perfect? Hell no, which is all the more reason just to suck it up and be grateful for all the things that you do have going for you. No one likes a complainer and, here's a little secret, with the exception of: your mom, your significant other (sometimes), and your dog(s), no one could care less about your complaining. Now that you know no one cares, just stop it. You're entitled to three-five seconds of freak-out but then, at that point, you just need to suck it the f* up and take care of business.
Today's entry brought to you be the f-word! [Comments: 4]· permalink ·
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Monday: December 10, 2007 - Sucking it the F* Up
In the spirit of sucking it the f* up, I decided I was going to make my office more manageable by decluttering the web of cords. It took about two hours and lots of inappropriate language (brought you mostly by the letter S) but it got done. I apparently, many moons ago thought it a good idea to plug an additional power strip into each power strip coming out of the wall. I'm not sure why I would have done this is it's grossly unsafe and coupled with a Dyson-choking amount of dog fur I'm thankful I've been able to stay alive this long. As it turns out, I had nine things plugged in that weren't even connected to anything anymore. Now that the power strips are up on the desk I can safely unplug things at night in my continued effort to sucking it the f* up to save Mother Earth.
Since this will be the last entry on sucking it the f* up I'd like to present the Top Three 2007 Suck It The F* Up Champions.
1) Brian - Part of sucking it the f* up is not only doing things you don't want to do and doing them right, it's about just doing it and not making it into more than it is. For my dollar, no one sucks it the f* up more than Brian.
2) Chris Green - Arguably as motivated as Brian, Chris is always on top of things; especially things he doesn't want to do. It was a tough call between #1 and #2 but because Brian, in addition to sucking it the f* up, never complains about the volume of the work, he had to win #1.
3) Steve - Slightly less motivated than Chris and Brian, Steve can really suck it he f* up too. Unlike Chris and Brian, though, Steve makes it very well known when he is sucking it the f* up with Away Messages like "Vengeance Shall Be Mine".
Congratulations to our winners! Tomorrow we'll have dog pictures! [Comments: 8]· permalink ·
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Tuesday: December 11, 2007 - 12 of 12 Coming Soon
Ok, I'm not missing the 12 of 12 this month. I was thinking that since I didn't do the last two, this month could be the 36 of 12. There are only two problems with that--my life isn't really exciting enough to merit 36 pictures throughout my day, and it would take me a long time to edit 36 photos. I mean, you don't really think you see an unadulterated picture of my life do you? I photoshop out the brothel plaques and replace it with large Starbucks logos. If I can't come up with 36 actual pictures I guess I'll have to throw in a bunch more of Chompy and Abby. I'm sure you'll be disappointed having to look at my adorable dogs. I think Chris is coming over tonight for football so I'll have to document his 70 point blowouts over me...oh, or I can get an action shot where I'm spiking the controller into the ground--oh wait, that was last time.
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Wednesday: December 12, 2007 - 12 of 12
6:50am: Good morning pups! I know you're tired Chomp, but if I don't go to work to earn money, I can't buy Ab new toy ducks.
7:10am: A morning wouldn't officially be underway without looking at Google Analytics while the dogs are outside.
7:30am: Oh Chompy, I've got some bad...oh, you're already in your crate.
7:35am: Off to Starbucks. By this time in the morning, Brian is taking his lunch break and Jamie has already been at the library for three hours.
8:00am: Thar she blows--it's my office. I opened the window for the picture to make it look less depressing.
11:00am: Since I also manage support, I have to continuously monitor how the underlings are doing on LiveChat.
2:00pm: If the 2pm-3pm window isn't the most grueling hour of the day I don't know what is.
5:30pm: Accidentally left my camera at work and had to go back and get it before I hit SBUX for the post-work Passion Tea.
6:30pm: Normally they don't like to eat so closely to each other but I needed the picture. My guitar is missing the D string and it really doesn't make a whole lot of difference.
8:30pm: Sound the feasting horn! Chris pays tribute in the hopes I do not beat him by 200 points.
9:00pm: I know that look. There is poop to be found.
10:30pm: I tried to capture each time Chris scored on the vaunted West Virginia defense but my camera gave up after like #400 on the night. Ugly. Just ugly.
BONUS #1: The first and last time I will ever look fat in a picture. Now I see why they tell people sweatshirts never look good. We also have some funny videos that I'll post next week from our Guitar Heroing.
BONUS #2: Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Look at me. I'm flipping Steggy up in my mouth and catching. Don't you want to fight me for it? I know you're busy losing to Texas but seriously, I'm really flipping this Steggy all over the place.
BONUS #3: Say Goodnight Abs!
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Thursday: December 13, 2007 - List of Steriod Users
Yesterday my blog hit a new high in visitors--338. It was because of the list of steroid users below. Like I told my brother last night, I now think Barry Bonds deserves a spot in the Hall of Fame but of course, with the *.
There were a lot of really crappy players on that list and since some of them were former Cubs, I can tell how first-hand how much they sucked. Steroids did nothing for them. The perfect example of this is Jerry Harriston, Jr. With the exception of hated Matt Murton, I can't think of a player who caused my stomach to turn more than Jerry Harriston. He was terrible at everything--he couldn't hit, he couldn't field and, making it worse, he phoned it in every day. Sure Ryan Theriot is a liability in the field and a weak hitter (at best) but he is bringing his A-Game every day. Yes, his A-Game is like a D-Game from Derek Lee but it's harder to dislike someone who is really busting his butt day and day out. Oh! I lied, I can think of someone who I hated as much as both Matt Murton and Jerry Harriston--Corey Patterson. My God Chompy, they are the trifecta of suck. The suckfecta, if you will. Anyway, despite his cheating, I think Bonds was still the second greatest player of my generation (after non-cheater) Greg Maddux.
Here's the list of steroid users from the Mitchell Report:
Lenny Dykstra
David Segui
Larry Bigbie
Brian Roberts
Jack Cust
Tim Laker
Josias Manzanillo
Todd Hundley
Mark Carreon
Hal Morris
Matt Franco
Rondell White
Roger Clemens
Andy Pettitte
Chuck Knoblauch
Jason Grimsley
Gregg Zaun
David Justice
F.P. Santangelo
Glenallen Hill
Mo Vaughn
Denny Neagle
Ron Villone
Ryan Franklin
Chris Donnels
Todd Williams
Phil Hiatt
Todd Pratt
Kevin Young
Mike Lansing
Cody McKay
Kent Mercker
Adam Piatt
Miguel Tejada
Jason Christiansen
Mike Stanton
Stephen Randolph
Jerry Hairston, Jr.
Paul Lo Duca
Adam Riggs
Bart Miadich
Fernando Vina
Kevin Brown
Eric Gagné
Mike Bell
Matt Herges
Gary Bennett, Jr.
Jim Parque
Brendan Donnelly
Chad Allen
Jeff Williams
Howie Clark
Exavier "Nook" Logan
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Weekend: December 16, 2007 - Weekend Warrior
On Saturday I braved the cold and headed out to the RD Christmas Party at Compound V. Even though I haven't worked there since February I still feel like I work there more than I do at my new job. My new job is fine but while I get along with everyone, there are no kindred souls--or even "clickable" people. I made Oreo Cheesecake and everyone appeared to have a good time chowing it down. V's house was beautiful and it was cool to finally see behind the gate. After I peaced out, Ian (Ian!) came over for a couple games of football before we settled into an updated version of a game from elementary school: Streetfighter. Ian was like 400x better than me since apparently the muscle memory for shooting flames in Street Fighter has been replaced in my brain with shooting flames in real life with Kempo. Ian: I have your umbrella.
I spent quite literally all day cleaning on Sunday and I'm actually pretty close to being done. The only real breaks I took were to picky up Ricky's Dyson and to pick up Jamie from the airport. That Dyson is incredible. I thought maybe it was a fluke last time since it only did a couple passes of the living room and the upstairs but this time I did everywhere except my bedroom (that'll be today) and it annihilated the dog fur. My house looks like someone else lives there it's so clean. Once I finish up the laundry I'll be ready for my week off. Steve: I played as WIU just for you. [Comments: 2]· permalink ·
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Monday: December 17, 2007 - Long/Short Week
Last night Jamie made us some delicious steaks and potatoes. I left work about 15 minutes early and hit up Fresh Market for some fillets and sea bass. It was decided that last night would be the fillets. After dinner I introduced Jamie to Guitar Hero but she didn't go crazy for it, which was too bad since I was hoping we'd play for at least a couple hours. Instead we watched the Bears game right before half-time but since the Bears had just returned an intercepted touchdown for a score at it was like 13-3 we moved on to watching some show on the Food Channel about how they make sour candies. I knew that there was a lot of sugar in them but seriously the recipe has to have at least six consecutive sugars in there.
Because Kathy needs to know the winners of the One-Result-In-Google contest, here are the winners: Christine (my former co-worker at RD) who supplied "duckytop". My mom submitted four winners--the only one that still has a single result is "frankcatan" but since the engines will likely spider this today we've now eliminated those off the ever-shrinking list. So now send me some Christmas lists and I'll get to buying. [Comments: 1]· permalink ·
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Tuesday: December 18, 2007 - 2008 Predictions
Last year at this time we did a list of 2007 predictions. I thought it was fun enough (but just barely) to merit doing again. We didn't exactly have a stellar male turnout last year so fill out the form (especially if you're a dude)--it takes like two seconds.
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Wednesday: December 19, 2007 - 2008 Predictions
Let's start today's entry by reviewing some of the predictions for 2007. Although I don't have an official scoring mechanism in place, I think Jamie finished last after erroneously picking FSU to go undefeated into the National Championship game. Elena was next because she picked FSU to go 7-4, not too far off from the 7-5 (about to be 7-6). Kathy accurately predicted 7-5. I only mention the FSU pick because every other pick for every other question was wrong. I think the most famous person to die in 2007 was probably Kurt Vonnegut but you could probably make a case for Anna Nicole Smith if you're, you know, illiterate. Now, onto the 2008 picks!
Me & Chompy
Celebrity Death: Paul McCartney
US declares war on: Cuba
Someone who gets married: Brian
FSU's football record: 6-6
Country with natural tragedy: China
General: I will win College Pick 'Em (again)
T-Chris
Celebrity Death: Paris Hilton
US declares war on: Texas
Someone who gets married: Meg
FSU's football record: 11-2
Country with natural tragedy: Sweden
General:2008 will be a great year
Steve
Celebrity Death: Bob Dylan
US declares war on: Iran
Someone who gets married: Dan
FSU's football record: 5-8
Country with natural tragedy:China
General: CTA still doesn't have funding
Brian
Celebrity Death: George Carlin
US declares war on: Iran
Someone who gets married: Me (as in Mike)
FSU's football record: 7-5
Country with natural tragedy: USA
General: Average gas prices will break $3.50
Kathy
Celebrity Death: Brittany Spears
US declares war on: Everyone
Someone who gets married: Betsy
FSU's football record: 8-5 (with bowl win)
Country with natural tragedy: USA
General: Mike and Chompy leave Tallahassee
Jamie
Celebrity Death: Brittany Spears
US declares war on: Iran
Someone who gets married: T-Chris
FSU's football record: 9-3
Country with natural tragedy: Venezuela
General: Law school continues to give no money.
K-Chris
Celebrity Death: Brittany Spears
US declares war on: Iran
Someone who gets married: T-Chris
FSU's football record: 6-6
Country with natural tragedy: Indonesia
General: Hillary won't get elected
Ian
Celebrity Death: Elmo
US declares war on: Skinny Models
Someone who gets married: Brittany Spears
FSU's football record: 8-5 (with bowl win)
Country with natural tragedy: Japan
General: I (Ian) will be in another state by August
And there you have it. It's not looking too good for Brittany nor FSU. On the bright side, it looks like T-Chris might be getting hitched. If you haven't filled one out, go fill out the form on yesterday's entry now! [Comments: 4]· permalink ·
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Thursday: December 20, 2007 - Christmas!
My dad flew into town yesterday. That means one thing: it's Christmas time and the RZ writers will be supporting their WGA counterparts by going on strike until December 29th when I get back from Chicago. Merry Christmas!
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Friday: December 28, 2007 - I'm Back
I'm back from Chicago and I know you're totally excited to see all my pictures. Unfortunately, I only took one with my regular camera (Steve playing The Devil Went Down To Georgia on Guitar Hero) and the rest are of Chompy The Travelin' Dog.
It really only snowed in Chicago yesterday, well after my dad and I left for Florida. It poured rain most of the trip which added four hours to the return trip. We obviously made it and Chompy is happy to be sleeping on a couch again.
Steve and I played a lot of GH and he was, as expected, a lot better than me. We also played a lot of football and I was, as expected, a lot better than him. I didn't beat him by 100 as I predicted but then again I didn't unleash the triple option but once to show him the power of it.
My mom sent me this picture. It looks like Chompy contributed the mouth. If you know what I'm saying. And I think you do. [Comments: 2]· permalink ·
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As your 2007 College Pick 'Em (Back to Back) Champion, I would first like to thank Appalachian State because had it not been for you guys upsetting Michigan I would not be here. Secondly, I'd like to thank Hawai'i because they were always good to put 18 points on, especially in weeks where the spread on every other game was between 0 and 3. Finally, I'd like to thank God because with Him there is no way all of these #2 teams lose and as we all know, I earn my Pick 'Em points not by picking the winning team, but having fewer points riding on the games. So what does this victory mean to you? That when in casual conversation and I mention how good/bad a team is you have to listen to me and not talk stupid about how good Ohio State (or any Big Ten) school is. It means when I when I say "West Virginia is totally for real" and then they lose to Pitt at home on national TV you are not allowed to say "I told you so". Special congratulations to Elena, who finished a close second!
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Monday: December 03, 2007 - Political Weigh-In
Originally for this post I was going to take a picture of some dog crap and then photoshop a little name tag on it that read: Hi! My Name Is: Mohammad but then the Sudan freed the school teacher so I was left without an entry.
Speaking of things, that my dogs leave in the backyard, that brings me to politicians. I heard Mit Romney on NPR yesterday and I immediately thought two things: I absolutely hate everything you stand for and thank God you'll never beat Hillary. I officially crossed Guiliani off my list yesterday, which was too bad because he was the front-runner. When he was asked if he believed in "every word" of the bible he made a couple hedging remarks but the fundamental answer was yes and you KNOW he doesn't. This was a non-issue for me before but good God man, stand up for yourself and say no. Mit Romney of course said yes--can I come stone your wives Mit? All of them?
Since I'm not voting for the machinesque Hillary that really only leaves me Obama. Giuliani was the only person running who I actually WANTED to be president so now I'm back to settling back between the people I don't want and who will do the least amount of damage...and I think that's Obama.
In other news, Jamie and I got tickets to the Gaylord Hotels and Yellow Cab Taxi Music City Bowl Sponsored By MasterCard With Special Consideration Of The Generous Contributions of Cingular-Now-AT&T-Now-With-More-Bars. [Comments: 5]· permalink ·
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Tuesday: December 04, 2007 - Guitar Hero
Ok, I broke. I bought Guitar Hero I for myself along with a wireless guitar over the weekend. I am now, officially, no better than a swarm of boy-hungry 13 year old girls. I have to say though, it's pretty darn fun. I figured since I'd played the game last Christmas with Steve and a handful of times with Ricky, I could just jump right in on "Hard" mode. Everything was going fine until I got to Killer Queen which is a song I knew pretty well. It took about a half-dozen tries to "beat" it in and after coasting until the last set I'm not stuck on SRV's Texas Flood. SRV has a special place in my heart since he was really popular amongst my college friends so hearing the songs remind me of really good times.
The biggest problem with the game is you can't hammer-on or pull-off. There are songs I can play handily on the real guitar that I can't on GH simply because it's impossible to individually pluck these long successions of notes. Not even ohn McLaughlin could do some of those.
Tomorrow I will post the winners of the Christmas-List Challenge so stay tuned. [Comments: 2]· permalink ·
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Wednesday: December 05, 2007 - Oh Man!
Yesterday the Cubs finally, and I do mean finally, got rid of Will "Bad" Ohman. Few people match their last name quite so well--it was always a "bad ohman" for the Cubs whenever he came in to pitch. I didn't realize this until yesterday but apparently when he got demoted to AAA Iowa he said it was because he was hurt. This came as a surprise to everyone else, who just assumed he really sucked. Turns out, he just sucked and after becoming a "pariah" in the clubhouse they finally let him go to the Braves along with some Ronny Cedeno Jr. for another minor league pitcher who will do great in AA and then go 1-9 with a 17.40 ERA in 10 games in the majors.
On the bright side, at least we're not the White Sox, who can't seem to sign any player regardless of how much money they try to throw at him. That's a sad situation right there--you just won the World Series a few years ago and now, after getting rid of everyone with any talent, you can't even trade for someone good because you have no one at all to trade for them. On the bright side there's only like eight White Sox fans worldwide so it's not like anyone is going to notice--except for White Sox haters. [Comments: 1]· permalink ·
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Thursday: December 06, 2007 - Giuliani / Crist?
I heard on NPR this morning Giuliani would ask Florida Governor Charlie Crist to be his vice president. If Giuliani gets the Republican nod and does in fact ask Charlie Crist, they would have my vote. Loyal democrat or not, Crist has done a great job in his short time as governor. I like that when he doesn't know an answer he just says "I don't know". He doesn't try to answer some other question or bullsh*t an answer he just says he doesn't know. I'm trying to think of who Obama would have to choose for me to vote for them instead...maybe Robert Plant?
I hope Mit Romney gets hit by a bus, along with anyone would vote for him. If Romney (or Huckabee) were to be the next president I would expatriate. I hate Huckabee but at least he's more honest with us (and himself) about who he is (someone I hate) and because of that I won't wish death upon him. Romney is just...something else. He's a shape-shifting I-am-religious,I-am-not-religious in your classical politician way. He just says what gets him votes and if a Gallup Poll tomorrow determined Americans wanted a sumo-wrestler as president Romney would eat himself into the race. I can't stand him for the same reason I can't stand Hillary--they're both just so power-hungry that they've lost track of being a human being. Neither of them can ever answer anything honestly or give an answer without spinning the question into something unrelated more in line with their "focus".
Bus drivers unite! Hit Romney and his voters! [Comments: 2]· permalink ·
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Weekend: December 09, 2007 - Best Advice in the World
In 28 years of living, I have concluded that there is a single piece of advice that, when followed, can solve any problem and get you through anything. Friends, I'm going to share with you that advice right now: Suck it the f* up. Just suck it up. So you have to work over the weekend instead of being able to sit around and do nothing? Big deal--just suck it up. You're losing by like six touchdowns to Chris in NCAA football--just suck it up. You stubbed your toe while trying to carefully step over your dog and now it really hurts--just suck it up. You think you're the only one with problems? You don't know how good to you have it and how many millions of people would cut off their left arm to be you. Is your life perfect? Hell no, which is all the more reason just to suck it up and be grateful for all the things that you do have going for you. No one likes a complainer and, here's a little secret, with the exception of: your mom, your significant other (sometimes), and your dog(s), no one could care less about your complaining. Now that you know no one cares, just stop it. You're entitled to three-five seconds of freak-out but then, at that point, you just need to suck it the f* up and take care of business.
Today's entry brought to you be the f-word! [Comments: 4]· permalink ·
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Monday: December 10, 2007 - Sucking it the F* Up
In the spirit of sucking it the f* up, I decided I was going to make my office more manageable by decluttering the web of cords. It took about two hours and lots of inappropriate language (brought you mostly by the letter S) but it got done. I apparently, many moons ago thought it a good idea to plug an additional power strip into each power strip coming out of the wall. I'm not sure why I would have done this is it's grossly unsafe and coupled with a Dyson-choking amount of dog fur I'm thankful I've been able to stay alive this long. As it turns out, I had nine things plugged in that weren't even connected to anything anymore. Now that the power strips are up on the desk I can safely unplug things at night in my continued effort to sucking it the f* up to save Mother Earth.
Since this will be the last entry on sucking it the f* up I'd like to present the Top Three 2007 Suck It The F* Up Champions.
1) Brian - Part of sucking it the f* up is not only doing things you don't want to do and doing them right, it's about just doing it and not making it into more than it is. For my dollar, no one sucks it the f* up more than Brian.
2) Chris Green - Arguably as motivated as Brian, Chris is always on top of things; especially things he doesn't want to do. It was a tough call between #1 and #2 but because Brian, in addition to sucking it the f* up, never complains about the volume of the work, he had to win #1.
3) Steve - Slightly less motivated than Chris and Brian, Steve can really suck it he f* up too. Unlike Chris and Brian, though, Steve makes it very well known when he is sucking it the f* up with Away Messages like "Vengeance Shall Be Mine".
Congratulations to our winners! Tomorrow we'll have dog pictures! [Comments: 8]· permalink ·
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Tuesday: December 11, 2007 - 12 of 12 Coming Soon
Ok, I'm not missing the 12 of 12 this month. I was thinking that since I didn't do the last two, this month could be the 36 of 12. There are only two problems with that--my life isn't really exciting enough to merit 36 pictures throughout my day, and it would take me a long time to edit 36 photos. I mean, you don't really think you see an unadulterated picture of my life do you? I photoshop out the brothel plaques and replace it with large Starbucks logos. If I can't come up with 36 actual pictures I guess I'll have to throw in a bunch more of Chompy and Abby. I'm sure you'll be disappointed having to look at my adorable dogs. I think Chris is coming over tonight for football so I'll have to document his 70 point blowouts over me...oh, or I can get an action shot where I'm spiking the controller into the ground--oh wait, that was last time.
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Wednesday: December 12, 2007 - 12 of 12
6:50am: Good morning pups! I know you're tired Chomp, but if I don't go to work to earn money, I can't buy Ab new toy ducks.
7:10am: A morning wouldn't officially be underway without looking at Google Analytics while the dogs are outside.
7:30am: Oh Chompy, I've got some bad...oh, you're already in your crate.
7:35am: Off to Starbucks. By this time in the morning, Brian is taking his lunch break and Jamie has already been at the library for three hours.
8:00am: Thar she blows--it's my office. I opened the window for the picture to make it look less depressing.
11:00am: Since I also manage support, I have to continuously monitor how the underlings are doing on LiveChat.
2:00pm: If the 2pm-3pm window isn't the most grueling hour of the day I don't know what is.
5:30pm: Accidentally left my camera at work and had to go back and get it before I hit SBUX for the post-work Passion Tea.
6:30pm: Normally they don't like to eat so closely to each other but I needed the picture. My guitar is missing the D string and it really doesn't make a whole lot of difference.
8:30pm: Sound the feasting horn! Chris pays tribute in the hopes I do not beat him by 200 points.
9:00pm: I know that look. There is poop to be found.
10:30pm: I tried to capture each time Chris scored on the vaunted West Virginia defense but my camera gave up after like #400 on the night. Ugly. Just ugly.
BONUS #1: The first and last time I will ever look fat in a picture. Now I see why they tell people sweatshirts never look good. We also have some funny videos that I'll post next week from our Guitar Heroing.
BONUS #2: Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Look at me. I'm flipping Steggy up in my mouth and catching. Don't you want to fight me for it? I know you're busy losing to Texas but seriously, I'm really flipping this Steggy all over the place.
BONUS #3: Say Goodnight Abs!
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Thursday: December 13, 2007 - List of Steriod Users
Yesterday my blog hit a new high in visitors--338. It was because of the list of steroid users below. Like I told my brother last night, I now think Barry Bonds deserves a spot in the Hall of Fame but of course, with the *.
There were a lot of really crappy players on that list and since some of them were former Cubs, I can tell how first-hand how much they sucked. Steroids did nothing for them. The perfect example of this is Jerry Harriston, Jr. With the exception of hated Matt Murton, I can't think of a player who caused my stomach to turn more than Jerry Harriston. He was terrible at everything--he couldn't hit, he couldn't field and, making it worse, he phoned it in every day. Sure Ryan Theriot is a liability in the field and a weak hitter (at best) but he is bringing his A-Game every day. Yes, his A-Game is like a D-Game from Derek Lee but it's harder to dislike someone who is really busting his butt day and day out. Oh! I lied, I can think of someone who I hated as much as both Matt Murton and Jerry Harriston--Corey Patterson. My God Chompy, they are the trifecta of suck. The suckfecta, if you will. Anyway, despite his cheating, I think Bonds was still the second greatest player of my generation (after non-cheater) Greg Maddux.
Here's the list of steroid users from the Mitchell Report:
Lenny Dykstra
David Segui
Larry Bigbie
Brian Roberts
Jack Cust
Tim Laker
Josias Manzanillo
Todd Hundley
Mark Carreon
Hal Morris
Matt Franco
Rondell White
Roger Clemens
Andy Pettitte
Chuck Knoblauch
Jason Grimsley
Gregg Zaun
David Justice
F.P. Santangelo
Glenallen Hill
Mo Vaughn
Denny Neagle
Ron Villone
Ryan Franklin
Chris Donnels
Todd Williams
Phil Hiatt
Todd Pratt
Kevin Young
Mike Lansing
Cody McKay
Kent Mercker
Adam Piatt
Miguel Tejada
Jason Christiansen
Mike Stanton
Stephen Randolph
Jerry Hairston, Jr.
Paul Lo Duca
Adam Riggs
Bart Miadich
Fernando Vina
Kevin Brown
Eric Gagné
Mike Bell
Matt Herges
Gary Bennett, Jr.
Jim Parque
Brendan Donnelly
Chad Allen
Jeff Williams
Howie Clark
Exavier "Nook" Logan
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Weekend: December 16, 2007 - Weekend Warrior
On Saturday I braved the cold and headed out to the RD Christmas Party at Compound V. Even though I haven't worked there since February I still feel like I work there more than I do at my new job. My new job is fine but while I get along with everyone, there are no kindred souls--or even "clickable" people. I made Oreo Cheesecake and everyone appeared to have a good time chowing it down. V's house was beautiful and it was cool to finally see behind the gate. After I peaced out, Ian (Ian!) came over for a couple games of football before we settled into an updated version of a game from elementary school: Streetfighter. Ian was like 400x better than me since apparently the muscle memory for shooting flames in Street Fighter has been replaced in my brain with shooting flames in real life with Kempo. Ian: I have your umbrella.
I spent quite literally all day cleaning on Sunday and I'm actually pretty close to being done. The only real breaks I took were to picky up Ricky's Dyson and to pick up Jamie from the airport. That Dyson is incredible. I thought maybe it was a fluke last time since it only did a couple passes of the living room and the upstairs but this time I did everywhere except my bedroom (that'll be today) and it annihilated the dog fur. My house looks like someone else lives there it's so clean. Once I finish up the laundry I'll be ready for my week off. Steve: I played as WIU just for you. [Comments: 2]· permalink ·
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Monday: December 17, 2007 - Long/Short Week
Last night Jamie made us some delicious steaks and potatoes. I left work about 15 minutes early and hit up Fresh Market for some fillets and sea bass. It was decided that last night would be the fillets. After dinner I introduced Jamie to Guitar Hero but she didn't go crazy for it, which was too bad since I was hoping we'd play for at least a couple hours. Instead we watched the Bears game right before half-time but since the Bears had just returned an intercepted touchdown for a score at it was like 13-3 we moved on to watching some show on the Food Channel about how they make sour candies. I knew that there was a lot of sugar in them but seriously the recipe has to have at least six consecutive sugars in there.
Because Kathy needs to know the winners of the One-Result-In-Google contest, here are the winners: Christine (my former co-worker at RD) who supplied "duckytop". My mom submitted four winners--the only one that still has a single result is "frankcatan" but since the engines will likely spider this today we've now eliminated those off the ever-shrinking list. So now send me some Christmas lists and I'll get to buying. [Comments: 1]· permalink ·
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Tuesday: December 18, 2007 - 2008 Predictions
Last year at this time we did a list of 2007 predictions. I thought it was fun enough (but just barely) to merit doing again. We didn't exactly have a stellar male turnout last year so fill out the form (especially if you're a dude)--it takes like two seconds.[Comments: 0]· permalink ·
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Wednesday: December 19, 2007 - 2008 Predictions
Let's start today's entry by reviewing some of the predictions for 2007. Although I don't have an official scoring mechanism in place, I think Jamie finished last after erroneously picking FSU to go undefeated into the National Championship game. Elena was next because she picked FSU to go 7-4, not too far off from the 7-5 (about to be 7-6). Kathy accurately predicted 7-5. I only mention the FSU pick because every other pick for every other question was wrong. I think the most famous person to die in 2007 was probably Kurt Vonnegut but you could probably make a case for Anna Nicole Smith if you're, you know, illiterate. Now, onto the 2008 picks!
Me & Chompy
Celebrity Death: Paul McCartney
US declares war on: Cuba
Someone who gets married: Brian
FSU's football record: 6-6
Country with natural tragedy: China
General: I will win College Pick 'Em (again)
T-Chris
Celebrity Death: Paris Hilton
US declares war on: Texas
Someone who gets married: Meg
FSU's football record: 11-2
Country with natural tragedy: Sweden
General:2008 will be a great year
Steve
Celebrity Death: Bob Dylan
US declares war on: Iran
Someone who gets married: Dan
FSU's football record: 5-8
Country with natural tragedy:China
General: CTA still doesn't have funding
Brian
Celebrity Death: George Carlin
US declares war on: Iran
Someone who gets married: Me (as in Mike)
FSU's football record: 7-5
Country with natural tragedy: USA
General: Average gas prices will break $3.50
Kathy
Celebrity Death: Brittany Spears
US declares war on: Everyone
Someone who gets married: Betsy
FSU's football record: 8-5 (with bowl win)
Country with natural tragedy: USA
General: Mike and Chompy leave Tallahassee
Jamie
Celebrity Death: Brittany Spears
US declares war on: Iran
Someone who gets married: T-Chris
FSU's football record: 9-3
Country with natural tragedy: Venezuela
General: Law school continues to give no money.
K-Chris
Celebrity Death: Brittany Spears
US declares war on: Iran
Someone who gets married: T-Chris
FSU's football record: 6-6
Country with natural tragedy: Indonesia
General: Hillary won't get elected
Ian
Celebrity Death: Elmo
US declares war on: Skinny Models
Someone who gets married: Brittany Spears
FSU's football record: 8-5 (with bowl win)
Country with natural tragedy: Japan
General: I (Ian) will be in another state by August
And there you have it. It's not looking too good for Brittany nor FSU. On the bright side, it looks like T-Chris might be getting hitched. If you haven't filled one out, go fill out the form on yesterday's entry now! [Comments: 4]· permalink ·
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Thursday: December 20, 2007 - Christmas!
My dad flew into town yesterday. That means one thing: it's Christmas time and the RZ writers will be supporting their WGA counterparts by going on strike until December 29th when I get back from Chicago. Merry Christmas!
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Friday: December 28, 2007 - I'm Back
I'm back from Chicago and I know you're totally excited to see all my pictures. Unfortunately, I only took one with my regular camera (Steve playing The Devil Went Down To Georgia on Guitar Hero) and the rest are of Chompy The Travelin' Dog.
It really only snowed in Chicago yesterday, well after my dad and I left for Florida. It poured rain most of the trip which added four hours to the return trip. We obviously made it and Chompy is happy to be sleeping on a couch again.
Steve and I played a lot of GH and he was, as expected, a lot better than me. We also played a lot of football and I was, as expected, a lot better than him. I didn't beat him by 100 as I predicted but then again I didn't unleash the triple option but once to show him the power of it.
My mom sent me this picture. It looks like Chompy contributed the mouth. If you know what I'm saying. And I think you do. [Comments: 2]· permalink ·
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Good Things Take Time...
-2 days until FSU Football (2010)
Random Picture...
This is the closest I got to ever getting in the water on the trip. Except for the shower.
This is the closest I got to ever getting in the water on the trip. Except for the shower.
Time Machine:
09-07-2009
· 09-07-2008
· 09-07-2007
· 09-07-2006
09-07-2009: I'll start with the good news: my death from the swine flu is no longer imminent. Now, onto the bad news.
WHERE THE HELL WAS FSU'S DEFENSE?! *I* could have been playing cornerback last night. I can easily ignore receivers as the blow past me or trip on my own two feet as a RUNNING BACK shoots past me for a catch in the end zone. Uggggggggh. On the bright side, the offense looked pretty good--at least Christian Ponder and the vaunted offensive line. The running game looked anemic when Jermaine was in there but his backup looked like a punisher. The fact our receivers c(w)ouldn't catch the ball made life rough. Fortson looked like the only guy who actually was willing to take one for the team and try to catch it, although Richard Goodman's catch on the two-point conversion ended with him getting blasted.
Anyway, where was the bloodthirsty FSU defense? Who were these cowards playing constant zone coverage? It doesn't take a PS2 NCAA Football expert very long to realize there's a time and a place for zone but if you want to win you need to MAN UP. Granted, the man coverage, when "utilized", made the secondary look absolutely stupid, with their coverage at least five yards behind the Miami receivers.
Whatever, we'll be good next year.09-07-2008: It looks like my vice-like grip over NCAA Pick 'Em is officially over. After tweaking "the algorithm" I still finished near the bottom of the picks because I clearly overweighed the section dedicated to "do they like to get upset?". The numbers correctly picked the ECU upset of WV but unfortunately they also picked three more upsets and, knowing that no more than three teams ever get upset in a week, I released WV out of a personal affinity towards the school. I also, until the game started, thought USM was in fact Mississippi State which they are clearly not. Oops.
I went out to Virginia to watch the FSU game with Kathy & Co. The bar had a lot of FSU fans but none that were particularly into the game. It didn't help that there was over two hours in combined rain delays. FSU looked good but I think anyone would look good against Western Carolina. They're not East Carolina, that's for sure. Catamounts, for the record, are mountain lions. They are not horses despite containing the word "mount". We'll know for sure how good FSU is when vaunted Chattanooga rolls into town next week. I took the day off blogging but only because I was thinking of you.09-07-2006: Although not as gratifying as some wins in the past, I was able to fend off tchris and jamie in a little three-way poker last night. At different points in the night we all had huge chip leads and somehow blew them. We're all big bettors so it was a lot of fun despite the low number of people.
I really need a new computer. Mine shuts off after about five minutes of use due to overheating and I still have not been able to find the right replacement fan. I'm hoping by the week after my birthday to have enough money to buy the new one from Dell, even though they won't let me get it without the video card. I talked to their retarded sales/tech guy and asked them simply if they could not charge/install a video card. They do not have dual-monitor options and I wasn't ordering any monitors so I didn't need the card. He replied that they could not and I was out of luck. I replied by asking him if the computers were really built by hand like they say in the commercials. He said yes. I then asked if they guy installing it could just "leave out" the video card (I'd be throwing it out the day I got it) and have the person hand-writing my bill leave off the cost of it. He said no. Oh well.
WHERE THE HELL WAS FSU'S DEFENSE?! *I* could have been playing cornerback last night. I can easily ignore receivers as the blow past me or trip on my own two feet as a RUNNING BACK shoots past me for a catch in the end zone. Uggggggggh. On the bright side, the offense looked pretty good--at least Christian Ponder and the vaunted offensive line. The running game looked anemic when Jermaine was in there but his backup looked like a punisher. The fact our receivers c(w)ouldn't catch the ball made life rough. Fortson looked like the only guy who actually was willing to take one for the team and try to catch it, although Richard Goodman's catch on the two-point conversion ended with him getting blasted.
Anyway, where was the bloodthirsty FSU defense? Who were these cowards playing constant zone coverage? It doesn't take a PS2 NCAA Football expert very long to realize there's a time and a place for zone but if you want to win you need to MAN UP. Granted, the man coverage, when "utilized", made the secondary look absolutely stupid, with their coverage at least five yards behind the Miami receivers.
Whatever, we'll be good next year.09-07-2008: It looks like my vice-like grip over NCAA Pick 'Em is officially over. After tweaking "the algorithm" I still finished near the bottom of the picks because I clearly overweighed the section dedicated to "do they like to get upset?". The numbers correctly picked the ECU upset of WV but unfortunately they also picked three more upsets and, knowing that no more than three teams ever get upset in a week, I released WV out of a personal affinity towards the school. I also, until the game started, thought USM was in fact Mississippi State which they are clearly not. Oops.
I went out to Virginia to watch the FSU game with Kathy & Co. The bar had a lot of FSU fans but none that were particularly into the game. It didn't help that there was over two hours in combined rain delays. FSU looked good but I think anyone would look good against Western Carolina. They're not East Carolina, that's for sure. Catamounts, for the record, are mountain lions. They are not horses despite containing the word "mount". We'll know for sure how good FSU is when vaunted Chattanooga rolls into town next week. I took the day off blogging but only because I was thinking of you.09-07-2006: Although not as gratifying as some wins in the past, I was able to fend off tchris and jamie in a little three-way poker last night. At different points in the night we all had huge chip leads and somehow blew them. We're all big bettors so it was a lot of fun despite the low number of people.
I really need a new computer. Mine shuts off after about five minutes of use due to overheating and I still have not been able to find the right replacement fan. I'm hoping by the week after my birthday to have enough money to buy the new one from Dell, even though they won't let me get it without the video card. I talked to their retarded sales/tech guy and asked them simply if they could not charge/install a video card. They do not have dual-monitor options and I wasn't ordering any monitors so I didn't need the card. He replied that they could not and I was out of luck. I replied by asking him if the computers were really built by hand like they say in the commercials. He said yes. I then asked if they guy installing it could just "leave out" the video card (I'd be throwing it out the day I got it) and have the person hand-writing my bill leave off the cost of it. He said no. Oh well.